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how soon do you tell someone?

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im the kind of person that likes to know someone before i tell them my dark secrets. i think people can be so judgey about herpes. is it best to just get it out in the open right away? or wait till you are closer and ready to be intimate?

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Here's my personal belief about when to disclose, in case I should have to do so at some point:

"The right time to tell is any time prior to becoming intimate with someone."

My corollary to that is:

"It's best not to wait until clothes are already hitting the floor to tell."

I would not tell a person right off the bat. Herpes should not define you, but if you tell someone about it prior to them getting to know you at least a little bit, I fear it will in their eyes. So I would wait and get to know a potential partner well enough that I feel I could trust him, and also until it seems that we are definitely headed towards intimacy, before telling.

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once you get to know the person you can usually tell if they are the type of person to handle your kind of situation dont waste time on people that arent ready for a relationship i think people in our situation are better offf spending time finding the right one that will understand wat kind of herpes do u have?

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genital hsv1, i need to check again, but pretty sure its hsv1

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  • The Hive is Thriving!

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      I do belive. It is going to be SADBE and Sqarex. I am on it and it is great.
    • Miss Annie
      Thank you. Yes, I was on Positive Singles and met someone I was with for 2 years. We recently broke up but may work things out. Truth be told, dating is touch. With or without a virus. 
    • Godsaveus
      A possible problem is that it will possibly be overshadowed by emails regarding other health problems such as cancer which carry no stigma and therefore have a more massive amount of requests.
    • WilsoInAus
      @nydb1 I feel you can be quite confident that you do not have genital herpes here.  Please return to your doctor for further diagnosis and treatment.
    • f*ckedOver
      Maybe this has been asked already, but is there way we could get everyone on the site to write emails to the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation?  If they got 1000s of emails about this issue maybe they would fund people like the researchers at Penn?????????

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