Have had this mess for 23 years

[DownRightUnlucky]

Hi everyone. I've had HSV2 for 23 years now. I remember feeling the exact same way that all of you feel when I first found out I had this virus. I felt that my life was over, that no one would ever want to have anything to do with me again...and so on. Back then, they didn't have Valtrex and it was a very hush hush topic. The doctor who diagnosed me treated me as though I was disgusting and he couldn't wait to get me out of his office.

So, I went home and confided this new info to my Mother...BIG MISTAKE. She didn't want me using the same toilet as the rest of the family and was concerned about doing my laundry with everyone elses. And this is someone who has gotten cold sores for most of her life. She then, made me tell my Father...he cried but was so supportive. I think it hurt him more that his little girl was sexually active. The man I was dating at the time denied that he had ever had any outbreaks and dumped me. Never an apology..nothing. But, I persevered and realized it wasn't the end of my life as I knew it but it did change.

Throughout the last 23 years, I've told men and have had mostly positive reactions with the exception of one or two and found out later that I wouldn't have wanted a relationship with them anyway. I hate to admit it, but there have been a couple that I didn't tell. To my knowledge, I have never passed this virus onto anyone...at least haven't ever received a phone call asking me what the hell I've given them. I'm not proud of not disclosing this information to these two men, but it was in the early years of having this and it was more of a stigma than it is now. Only "bad" people had herpes and I was very ashamed and scared to tell. I was terrified of the rejection...but afterwards, more terrified that they would also come down with this. Thankfully, they didn't.

Since I first got diagnosed, I have had constant breakouts. Always during my periods and other times as well. There have been approximately six months at a time that I didn't break out and was usually during a relationship. This did make it easier since after I told them I had herpes there was a while that they were able to feel comfortable enough with it without me having to tell them I was broken out. I always take suppressive medication while I'm involved in a relationship, but never when I'm not. I can deal with the breakouts on my own. They are frequent, but not severe.

Like many on here, mine started around the vaginal area. Many, many years later, it moved to my butt area. Sometimes, I'll start out with one blister and it seems it makes it rounds to each of the infected areas. When one clears up, another one comes. It's an endless cycle it seems. I even get this huge itchy thing on my right buttock but not that often.

A year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease (no, not AIDS) and ever since then, it never lets up. I guess my immune system is shot at this point and it can no longer fight the herpes outbreaks. I can even think of having herpes...and an outbreak occurs. Constant prodrome symptoms...tingling, itchiness and the pain down my legs and back. I'm currently taking Lysine, Vitamin C and just added zinc which makes me very sick at my stomach so don't think I'll be taking that much longer.

I'm at my wit's end with this. Forget trying to have a relationship with someone new when you are in constant breakout. Unless, I can find an old, old man who can't get it up anymore nor interested in anything other than a pat on the head from time to time. I'm in my early 40's and I have finally given up after having such a good attitude for so long. I'm in my prime and can't do a thing about it because of this stupid herpes. I hate it and I'm sick and tired of it. I even got turned down for a new drug study because of herpes. It could have done me a lot of good for my immune disease, but they were afraid that an outbreak could deter test results. I'm just waiting on the day they send me an invite to join a herpes drug study...that way, they can't turn me down.

I remember when I first got it, I had such high hopes of a cure one day. Here it is 23 years later, and still no cure. I don't think they'd offer it to us even if they did find one...like others have said, too much money being made on the suppressive meds to put a stop to that. But, I am thankful that they do have them now for for all of you that have been diagnosed in the last 20 years or so and for the newbies that are joining this club each and every day.

If I could go back, I'd be the ole virgin spinster lady with a hundred cats in her yard. Looks like I'm headed that way with the exception of the virgin part.

Please don't be discouraged if you read this thinking...OMG, will I have the same constant outbreaks...I'm the exception to the rule and the most unluckiest person walking around. I wish I were one of those who never had outbreaks...but not the case.

Just needed to vent tonight.....thanks for reading.

[tearsforfears]

WOW...I really really feel for you

I hope you find the strength and support to keep on going,

cause I'm not sure I myself would be that strong to keep

my head straight in your shoes.

i really pray a cure,or at least a breakthrough in treatment happens

soon,as you definitly deserve it!!!

Best wishes

[Cherry Cola]

Thank you for sharing your storey with us.It must be really frustrating at times.Does the supression therapy help you at all?You said you only take it if your in a relationship though.Would it be better to take it all the time?

(((HUGS)))

[DownRightUnlucky]

Tears and Cherry,

Thanks to you both for your kind words and support. I'm feeling much better now about the whole thing. I go through my spurts of being down about this from time to time. Being diagnosed with Scleroderma is much worse than this herpes because it can kill me, herpes can't.

Cherry, to answer your question about staying on the suppressive meds...I have taken them in the past for suppression. In fact, I used to take them before being diagnosed with the auto-immune disease. I'm so paranoid about it getting worse, I hate to put anything into my body that I don't have too. I did speak with the nurse last Saturday and she called me in a prescription and I plan to see my doctor next week regarding the constant breakouts and what we can do to relieve them. Since I started taking them last Saturday, my outbreak has cleared up and the prodrome hasn't been bothering me. I'm definitely going to rethink my position about taking them everyday. What will be will be with my other ailment. I don't know if the Lysine and Vitamin C are working or if it's the suppressive meds, but I do plan on continuing taking all of them. Life is much better without an outbreak. Besides, I'm about to meet a wonderful guy I met over the internet that I've told and he has accepted the herpes. So I have even more a reason to keep these outbreaks away!

Have a good day and be safe. Big hugs to everyone.

[Cherry Cola]

So glad about this new man!!

Have you tired taking Echinacea or Ginseng?I know they both help to keep the cold and flu bug away.I just started taking something with Ginseng in it when a cold was about to start and the cold didn't happen

I did read recently that "tests for anti-virul activity show that cells pretreated with Echinacea purpurea extracts are %50-%80 more resistant against influenza and herpes".Here is a website from a company that sells Echinacea products if you want to learn more.I'm not sure you can actually buy it on-line though,I only picked up the brochure at the drugstore.

www.avogelgel.ca

I may try a cream or something with E in it with my next OB.

[DownRightUnlucky]

Hi again Cherry!

How's it going with your new man you met on MSN?

Thanks for the heads up regarding the echinacea. I'll definitely look into it. Let me know how the cream works out for you. I'm willing to try anything at this point.

But wouldn't you know it...I'm about to meet this new man and the prodrome has started again...and I believe a new outbreak. Just my darn luck.

Be well...and stay safe. HUGS

[tearsforfears]

Cherry,Here's another thing you may want to give a try,as it is alot less

expensive than Valtrex.I myself used it for about a week,but ended up feeling like a ob was going to happen and did the valtrex,I'm still paranoid

about getting another ob..not going to take any risks..at least not yet.Just because of this does not mean it will not work or work very well for others. Since your in Canada Cherry,you can pick it up at Superstore,and perhaps others that I'm unaware of.It's about 50 bucks for 60 capsules.Here's a link to some more info about it...and by the way,

Downrightunlucky,it's available down in the US now too.If you do try it,keep us informed how it worked for you.

http://www.herpesdoctor.com/node/152

Here's just a link from a random online site that carries it,showing US cost and description.

http://naturesdistributors.com/store/6000info.html

Hope the both of you find happiness with your new guy friends,,,

hopefully someday I'll find someone too

[Cherry Cola]

My MSN guy,well I should say "boy" as he's 21 and I am 29 is fine.We haven't met yet.We chat ocasionally but I'm not sure if we will meet.If we do it will probably just be a friend thing and that's ok.

I know that love will find us all when it's supposed to.I have to belive that

Since I don't have OB's very often...maybe 2x a year I don't take anything for it.The first 4 or so maybe (I'm not sure) I did not have checked out at all and really suffered with them and have only taken the Valtrex once with the one the doc saw.

I'm just taking something called Cold Assist (the Life brand version of Cold Fx) to keep the cold and flu bugs away.It says it "may help boost the immune system" and I knwo that's good if you have herpes.So I'm hoping this Winter I am cold/flu/herpes free!!

[freeflower42]

I am 42 years old, have had herpes since I was 18 and I still can not get over the feelings of anger and the disruption it causes in my sex life!! I have had the most outbreaks over the last 2 or 3 years. Does getting older affect outbreaks? I take Valtrex-1gm per day, L-lysine-6-8000 mg per day, red marine algae-900mg 2X a day, and I try to control my diet, but the foods highest in argine, my trigger, are my favorit foods. I have gotten better about not having them. I am just totally agrevated that this virus has to affect my every fiber of my being, ie...self esteem, sex life, pain tolerance, ect. This is the first time I have been on a Herpes forum and I figure its time. Any help would be wonderful!!

Thanks for being here.

[chaos]

I am so sorry to hear about your difficulties. I have went through much because of this virus. I think how you contract it and how people react when you first tell has a huge effect. If the person who gives it to you wont accept responsibility or apologize it makes it so much harder. Also studies have shown that what happens when you first share a sexually tramatic experience has a huge effect on how well you cope with it. Your mother not being supportive was probably a horrible experience. shame on her for reacting the way she did. I have had it for a few years now. I am currently in a relationship and have realized that for us herpes is a very small problem, there are several other problems which affect us more. I am fortunate enough to have had very few outbreaks which is weird because I smoke, dont work out, eat like crap half of the time. I am more worried about diabetis, cancer and heart disease. I dont take supressives because my immune system has done an ok job of dealing with the virus. Some things I do to help with this virus are just try to be as happy as I can be. I also blended my own tea which I drink when I am feeling symptoms or give to my boyfriend to help prevent him catching it. It is somthing I would drink everyday if I had bad outbreaks, and probably should anyway. you can go to a health food store that carries bulk herbs to get the ingredients. It contains a high quality echinechia, cats claw, olive leaf, melissa or lemon balm and hibiscus. Echinechia is good for overall immune system, the next three are good for immune system and specifically for herpes virus, cats claw can also help prevent my boyfriend from getting it (it interupts virus replication) the hibiscus is added because it is my favorite tea herb, it adds a beautiful color and flavor. I don't think lysine is supposed to be taken everyday. Another thing I love is coconut oil. It is good to eat cooked in food or just a tablespoon a day. Me and my boyfriend love to use it as a lubricant or massage oil, and it serves a double purpose as it disrupts the virus. the first year I contracted it I did a 7 day juice fast and full body cleanse. I think this may have saved my life. My immune system had all but shut down at the time and my depression was overwhelming. It cleansed and healed my body and mind. if anyone is interested in my fast and what I did you can message me. gook luck with everything, keep up your hope. you sound like a brave and stong woman.

[BlondeIntellect]

Red Marine Algae-downright unlucky

Hey have you tried Red Marine Algae? I noticed freeflower mentioned taking that and it works a lot better than l-lysine did, even though I continue to take that too. Here's the website that I buy it at...the producer actually started because he contracted herpes.

http://www.bryantlabs.com/

[freeflower42]

Thanks BlondeIntellect!

Yes, I take red marine algae by solaray, 4-6 X2 a day plus I take L-Lysine, about 8-10,000 mg per day. The lysine is what works best for me. The red marine algae does a so so job. I also take 1gm of valtrex, I have been under a great deal of stress the few months. I meditate, or I try to at least once per day, I ride my bike for exercise, and I just try to stay busy. That is the ONLY way I can cope, plus I have a 4 month old grandchild and I am enjoying him greatly!

Thanks to all for your support, keep it coming.

Ellen

[zagnut]

Can birth control help?

I've had herpes for 4 years and have been on suppressive therapy, Valtrex, for about 3 years. While the outbreaks are not as severe, they are constant. The only relief I have discovered is birth control pills. If I'm on the pill and Valtrex, my outbreaks are limited to one week a month.

You've probably already tried this avenue..but if not, I suggest talking to your doctor about hormone replacements.

Thanks.

[hidee]

I guess I am the "veteran" here. I've had herpes since I was 28, I'm now 77!

I got it from my fiance'. We were married for 5 years - he never had an outbreak. I had 2 babies - I cannot remember if I had any outbreaks when I was pregnant, but was clear when they were born.

I did not know that this is what I had.

It was about 20 years later that I read a description and some stories about it, that I realized that this is what I had. In the meantime, I had described it to several doctors who just casually said that they would have to see it.

I had an extended affair with a man. It just happened that I was not having an outbreak when we were together. He did not get it.

Now for the good news. I found that sitting on magnets for about an hour a day kept the virus inactive. I bought some strip magnets that were 1/8" +thick by 3"x12". I had 3 of them. The actual total thickness was about 1/2". I also use a 1/2"x1/2"x2" magnet. It is the thickness of the magnet that gives it penetrating power. You must use the NEGATIVE?NORTH POLE side of the magnet.

Now that is a short term fix. You can skip a few days without getting an outbreak, but you must continue to use them regularily.

Better news - I bought an electronic gizmo called a zapper. I bought the one called The Terminator because of convenience of use. I used it regularily for a few months. Now I use it only occasionally. I went for over a year without an outbreak. Then came a stressful situation and I did break out, but mildly. The situation is still steady. I can handle an outbreak that only happens 2 or 3 times a year.

Do some research on it. You can start here:

http://www.toolsforhealing.com/products/Zapper/Products/TerminatorII.html

[placer]

Grave's Disease

I have had herpes since 1974 and I am experiencing the same increase in serverity and movement in the infection around my vaginal and behind areas. I was diagnosed with Grave's Disease in Oct 2005, after I noticed an increase in the frequency of herpes infections from a couple of times a year to monthly or more. I had radioactive iodine treatment for my thyroid. I found that the frequency of herpes has decreased since I got my thyroid zapped and started on thyrozine until I started on a diet that includes a high protein shake and vitamine and herbal supplements. I am not sure if there is connection to the diet, or to my l-thyroxine levels which have been up and down. Does anyone have any experiience with this?

Hi everyone. I've had HSV2 for 23 years now. I remember feeling the exact same way that all of you feel when I first found out I had this virus. I felt that my life was over, that no one would ever want to have anything to do with me again...and so on. Back then, they didn't have Valtrex and it was a very hush hush topic. The doctor who diagnosed me treated me as though I was disgusting and he couldn't wait to get me out of his office.

So, I went home and confided this new info to my Mother...BIG MISTAKE. She didn't want me using the same toilet as the rest of the family and was concerned about doing my laundry with everyone elses. And this is someone who has gotten cold sores for most of her life. She then, made me tell my Father...he cried but was so supportive. I think it hurt him more that his little girl was sexually active. The man I was dating at the time denied that he had ever had any outbreaks and dumped me. Never an apology..nothing. But, I persevered and realized it wasn't the end of my life as I knew it but it did change.

Throughout the last 23 years, I've told men and have had mostly positive reactions with the exception of one or two and found out later that I wouldn't have wanted a relationship with them anyway. I hate to admit it, but there have been a couple that I didn't tell. To my knowledge, I have never passed this virus onto anyone...at least haven't ever received a phone call asking me what the hell I've given them. I'm not proud of not disclosing this information to these two men, but it was in the early years of having this and it was more of a stigma than it is now. Only "bad" people had herpes and I was very ashamed and scared to tell. I was terrified of the rejection...but afterwards, more terrified that they would also come down with this. Thankfully, they didn't.

Since I first got diagnosed, I have had constant breakouts. Always during my periods and other times as well. There have been approximately six months at a time that I didn't break out and was usually during a relationship. This did make it easier since after I told them I had herpes there was a while that they were able to feel comfortable enough with it without me having to tell them I was broken out. I always take suppressive medication while I'm involved in a relationship, but never when I'm not. I can deal with the breakouts on my own. They are frequent, but not severe.

Like many on here, mine started around the vaginal area. Many, many years later, it moved to my butt area. Sometimes, I'll start out with one blister and it seems it makes it rounds to each of the infected areas. When one clears up, another one comes. It's an endless cycle it seems. I even get this huge itchy thing on my right buttock but not that often.

A year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease (no, not AIDS) and ever since then, it never lets up. I guess my immune system is shot at this point and it can no longer fight the herpes outbreaks. I can even think of having herpes...and an outbreak occurs. Constant prodrome symptoms...tingling, itchiness and the pain down my legs and back. I'm currently taking Lysine, Vitamin C and just added zinc which makes me very sick at my stomach so don't think I'll be taking that much longer.

I'm at my wit's end with this. Forget trying to have a relationship with someone new when you are in constant breakout. Unless, I can find an old, old man who can't get it up anymore nor interested in anything other than a pat on the head from time to time. I'm in my early 40's and I have finally given up after having such a good attitude for so long. I'm in my prime and can't do a thing about it because of this stupid herpes. I hate it and I'm sick and tired of it. I even got turned down for a new drug study because of herpes. It could have done me a lot of good for my immune disease, but they were afraid that an outbreak could deter test results. I'm just waiting on the day they send me an invite to join a herpes drug study...that way, they can't turn me down.

I remember when I first got it, I had such high hopes of a cure one day. Here it is 23 years later, and still no cure. I don't think they'd offer it to us even if they did find one...like others have said, too much money being made on the suppressive meds to put a stop to that. But, I am thankful that they do have them now for for all of you that have been diagnosed in the last 20 years or so and for the newbies that are joining this club each and every day.

If I could go back, I'd be the ole virgin spinster lady with a hundred cats in her yard. Looks like I'm headed that way with the exception of the virgin part.

Please don't be discouraged if you read this thinking...OMG, will I have the same constant outbreaks...I'm the exception to the rule and the most unluckiest person walking around. I wish I were one of those who never had outbreaks...but not the case.

Just needed to vent tonight.....thanks for reading.