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questguy

My Girlfriend is HSV2 Positive

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questguy

Heya all,

Just getting some info on the whole thing. The girl I am dating had the talk with me, which didn't change my resolve to be with her. Have to be careful of course. A couple of questions however. Aside from valtrax and condoms, what else can we do? Avoid during outbreaks and such I know, but any other things to use to be safe?

Also, are the numbers really that low for transmission? Seems a lot of people have it for the statistics being 4-8% transmission averagely.

Final thing; if you have HSV1 in your system (I do), does that provide any protection, if you have it orally or genitally?

Thanks all, I of course care about this girl, and have gained enough wisdom in my days not to be scared off by this. Of course, that doesn't mean I don't want to be safe, so thanks for the advice.

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regret

well my boyfriend has type 1 oral and i have type 2 genital and at first i would take valtrex daily,after awhile i quit taking them and we have unprotected sex all the time and he still hasnt gotten mine.. of course we abstain for the most part while im having an outbreak ( but not always).. i feel type 1 does give him some protection from me.. i can only go by my expeience, but one has to realize the risk is always there.

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JBnATL

There are other supplements she can take, have her look into taking lysine and kelp. Those are OTC supplements that can help.

Did you know it is harder for a guy to catch it from a girl than vice versa? How long has she had it? The longer one has it the less contagious they are. Here is a good article that talks about transmission rates, and as you can see they are VERY low.

http://www.hsvblog.org/herpes-simplex-virus-hsv-101/

Come to the Chat Room, there you will meet many nice fellow Herpsters who can offer you their support.

Good luck!

JB

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determined87

Not neccessarily...I've had herpes 1 oral since I was a teenager; but I still contracted it in the genitals.

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questguy

Thanks for the input people. Aside from being abstinent, please list out all the ways we can be safe. There is;

-Antiviral med

-Condoms

What else? Female condoms? Liquids and such? Just trying to be as safe as possible.

Thanks

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norcallove

As you have said there are:

- Antiviral meds and condoms

- There are also OTC meds like JB said - lysine and kelp

- Obviously avoiding sex during an OB (and right before - if she can tell when is coming on - and right after)

Those are pretty much the steps I take. I have GHSV2 - my BF does not. I'm sure there are other methods, but I don't know much about them so I can't really comment on them.

I know you, of course, want to be as safe as possible. But you do have to realize that there is a risk, a small one, but a risk none the less. You have to be willing to accept this risk if you want a sexual relationship with this girl. You are actually more protected from getting HSV from someone who knows they have it than someone who doesn't (most people are asymptomatic and don't know they have it). Did you know it is also harder for a female to transmit this to a male than vice versa? With taking meds, avoiding sex during an OB, and using condoms - the risk of transmitting the virus is only around 1-2% annually. You just really need to make sure you are ok with accepting the risk.

Sex is supposed to be a very enjoyable experience. Personally, if my bf wanted to try to use liquids and other "barriers" because he is so afraid of getting this, well that would be a mood killer for me and I'm sure the sex wouldn't be that enjoyable. I'm not saying you shouldn't be safe. Of course you should be safe! I definitely take a lot of steps to make sure my partner doesn't get this. All I am saying is you have to make sure you accept the risk and don't go overboard.

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wonderingif

I had the same situation 2 years ago. Just got type 2 a few months ago. It's been very hard on my body. But everyone is different.

We used condoms and supression for a long time. She forgot to supress and one night I did not use a condom. Here I am.

I love her. so was it worth it? Yes. But right now in the midst of a bad breakout and fever and back ache, I sure wish I'd been just a bit more careful.

Use common sense, and you'll be fine!

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stillinlove

my boyfriend doesn't know if he has it or not. My first outbreak looks like it healed no pain...can we still have unprotected sex? He said "well if you have it i guess I have it too, I don't care we will get through this together"..... what do I do?

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questguy

So here is my next question. My girl got it from a guy who told her, they practiced safe sex and suppression, but she got it anyway. I hate to ask this, but are the percentages of transmission they tote really correct?

Also, if she gets outbreaks where the condom doesn't protect, what do we do then? She gets OB in the crotch area, unprotected by condoms. Without getting too detailed, parts of me would be touching without any protections. This might be the biggest thing to deal with, as I don't think they make condoms that cover one's testicles. Thoughts?

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Vanilla

You seem to be very eager to be able to calculate the exact chance of you catching herpes from her. You do realize that it's impossible to put an accurate number on the percenatge chance? It will very much depend on your immune system and on how long she's had it and a million other factors. There is some evidence that having oral hsv1 provides some protection against ghsv, but again, no one can give you with an exact estimate of the transmission possibility for your particular circumstances. I've had oral hsv1 since i was a kid, but i still got ghsv2. From unprotected sex, yes.

And about the transmission rates - I think since 9 out of 10 who have ghsv don't even know it, they will go on and spread it unknowingly. Which is why it is so common and so underdiagnosed. Once they know they have it, proper precautions can be taken to prevent transmission. But again, the transmission rates are only estimates. Not hard facts. You won't get any hard facts, only probabilities. You have to decide if you're willing to take the chance anyway.

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