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bobaganush420

Better Off ;)

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bobaganush420

So, I've had cold sores since I was kid, but didn't really understand what they were until a year ago, kinda weird I know. I honestly do not get them that much, maybe once a year, but when I found out what it was I was shocked. I couldn't believe I had H. I never thought I would get something "dirty" like this.

Anyway, there's a lot of argument that cold sores are more excepted and whatever, but in reality a lot of people I know, know that cold sores are H, which made me very self-conscious and depressed for a while. I hated when I would hear a friend make an H comment and talk about how people that have are dirty. One of my buddies said he would kill himself if he got it. Pretty rough stuff. So for a while I was really depressed, I never wanted my friends to find out (most still don't know and I plan to keep that way, but that's beside the point), I thought I would never get a GF again or have sex and keep experiencing romance, because I would never want to tell a girl this. I thought I was gonna live my life alone. And then I realized that you have one life to live, so live the life you got to the fullest. This stupid virus has made me change for the better now. I used to be a little cocky, and didn't always think about others around me, but now that I've experienced this loneliness, I want to dedicate my life to helping others. I'm applying for the Peace Corps and hope to get in within the next year, and it makes me feel good, as when before I knew what I had I was just a fool living life for the next party and girl, and was probably even more of a lonely fool. It has made me accept everyone for who they are, and be kind to everyone no matter how mean they can be or how different they are. Life is a crazy, learning experience, and I believe that me getting this and finally finding out what it was, was a blessing in disguise. It has made me a better person and truly appreciate my life.

So what I'm getting at is, that ya there's days where I think about it and it makes me feel bad, and that's probably gonna happen until there is a cure haha (which I'm positive there will be God Bless Dr. Bloom and Cullen). But on those days I feel bad or jealous, I just put everything in perspective and realize how great I really have and this isn't gonna kill me. It could be worse, I could have been born in Ghana, lived my whole life starving and running from militant soldiers, and maybe getting AIDS, and when I think of that it makes me just want to help people in need because if I never have sex again who cares, at least I made a positive difference in this world, instead of lived my life like some Jersey Shore douche-bag, who's living in a fake lie. So in the end, I'm kinda glad I have this because I know if I stay true to myself, do the right things, help those in need, and spread the power of love, that love will eventually find me, and I'll never feel alone again.

Thanks for listening to that guys, I know it was long but I've wanted to say that to somebody for a while.:wavey:

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gardencook

It is kind of cool for a guy to admit his weakness. Good for u to turn this into something positive. I'm still working on it but this is very new to me. I wish happiness for u. :)

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bobaganush420

Thanks, and for you to. You have to be real with yourself, and realize your faults, or else you will never learn and grow

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nimbus

Congrats on taking a positive step forward w/your life!!! Give love and you will get love in return... :)

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satine

nice post, bobaganush420! what a great outlook and what a way to live positively! :)

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package deal

it sounds like you done a lot of growing up. your friends havent. good for you not letting herpies beat you

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