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positive82974

just got diagnosed

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positive82974

I cannot believe that it happende to me because I do not jump in relationships and I had 3 guys in my whole 36 years. I am afraid that I feel dirty, stupid and that my life is over. I don't think I will be able to start any new relationships because it is hard to tell someone about your condition.

I red a lot about HSV; however, there are gaps on every site. Every site is saying that you cannot get it from inonemate objects but at the same time they tell you to be careful and wash your washcloth after every use. If I bath in the morning and evening and virus can stay alive on none living objects only a few seconds why do I have to wash it after every use? Why did I have small otbreak the first time and recently (after 4 years) I started getting it during my every period. It should be oposite - decrease. Please help

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blinky123

Your not dirty and certainly not stupid! Believe me I have been careful and yet ended up in the same position!

Your going to be just fine, your certainly not alone, theres 100s of us on here with the same problems!

You will be able to start new relationships when your ready, you will just have to take a deep breath and be honest, if they deserve you, they will stick around... bare in mind, you will have to give them time to research and adapt.

As far as I am aware, no you cannot spread the virus though your bath tub or dishcloth. You would have to either have sex to pass on the virus or (very unlikely) touch a blister and put it in someone else's open wound.. so the chances are very very very slim, please don't worry, I don't.

My OB's usually happen when I have my period, I don't know the reason why, but they do! Stress also bring on OB's so relax! :D

Please check out my other thread, I have listed some products that may help your next OB..

http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/messageforum/showthread.php?34923-What-works-for-me!-(May-help-you!)

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sara627

my first outbreak was very small too and wasnt that bad till a few months ago. i have been getting them a lot more. i think its stress and maybe low immune system from winter and just being busy.

you will be able to find someone. if they care about you enough they will accept it and love you for who you are. i like to think of it like if they cant accept it and me then they arent the one for me anyway.

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positive82974

Thank you

Thank you Blinky123 and sara627 for replying to my post and giving me hope, but I still cry every time I imagine telling someone about my condition. I know I would think twice before continuing the relationship with someone positive with herpes why shouldn't they.

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norcallove

Hi positive - I had my 1st OB 4 months into my relationship with my BF. He is negative (he went and got tested after my diagnosis). I had to have the talk with him. While it was is a little different than telling someone new, I was still really scared he was going to leave. He was amazing. After I told him everything the first thing he asked was if I was OK and then said nothing changed. That was almost 3 months ago and things are better than ever. So, hopefully that gives you a little hope. :)

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positive82974

Thanks it helps

How wonderful. I wish the best for you and I am very happy for you. I thank you for sharing this with me it certainly does make me feel better. Thank you

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norcallove

Thanks for your kind words. I'm glad it made you feel a little better. :) Take care!

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    • Ashleerae
      Yeah whoops, I didn't see you wrote HSV-1 until later haha. I definitely see your point. 
      Just some random thoughts on the subject that I've been thinking about similar to your situation, even if they are a little different. I've been in a workplace where a girl was the herpes girl so I totally get that. Not the brand you want. Yeah it is so common. Somebody else in the room probably has it, like you said. It feels like its so unnatural and isolated when diagnosed because nobody talks about it, but its so freaking common. Maybe people are more open about HSV1, but maybe not.  Who knows if the rest of the world will catch up. It's nice to not care what the rest of the world has to say sometimes. That would be tough at 18-22 having everyone you know find out. I assume my own hometown will find out one day from someone who knows; that was one of my other biggest fears about this too, but it's fading. I guess I better start working on my comeback game so it's in the holster when I need it Have a good night, good thread Hairpees.  
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Runride and welcome to the website, I hope there is some thoughts to assist in your thinking. Wow, where do live? Sounds a bit like 'Deliverance' country or something out of a David Lynch movie. I'm very sorry about that. I have three options for your consideration. They are not in order of any particular preference. 1. Ignore it. Go about your life as per normal. You are the actor on your own stage and the other players will do what they do. Do as you wish to do with your life and other people will buy into that, or they're not welcome on your journey. Herpes plays the role it always has for you. You inform partners in advance of sex. 2. Take a stand to be open about your status. Requires a bit more bravery to put yourself out there for little short term reward certainly. "Yes I have herpes like most of us do orally or genitally. What do you feel the issues surrounding this are? What ought to be different in our lives and the way we live them as a result?" 3. Move to a new environment to give yourself a better chance of living life under option 1 or even option 2 above.
    • Broken Butterfly
      For sure, why bother if it’s pointless and costly but I get what you mean.  
    • Broken Butterfly
      I said I considered it but not that I was going to sue- I have no idea what my options are here.  
    • Hairpees
      I’m definitely not saying you need to file a lawsuit, you’ll read on here most people don’t have success. I’ve mentioned it because hes not responding to you so maybe that will wake him up.
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