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brokennn

New To The Virus

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brokennn

Hey Everyone,

I just have a few questions about the virus as I am newly diagnosed and in a current relationship. My story is a bit confusing, and irritating to be honest but I'll try to get to the point.

This past fall I dated a girl for a few months, and she eventually left me to get back with her ex. She contacted me four days ago to inform me that he finally admitted to cheating on her when they were together the first time. This wasn't really news to either of us as she had heard he cheated on her. She then went on to tell me that she also heard that the girl he was with was either a carrier of Hepatitis or Herpes and that she just thought I should know. (She had heard the rumor before we were ever together but just dismissed it...and also didn't know which one it was). :madd:

Anyway, I went in for a screening on Wednesday and HSV-2 antibodies were detected in my blood. I understand that this alone wouldn't identify her as my site of exposure, but I had a screening in the past which included HSV and all results were negative. I have only been with one other girl since that screening, so I'd say the chances are pretty good it was her.

Here's my worry. I have been with my current girlfriend for about 2 months and I want to know if she's at serious risk. As for sexual contact, we have only had manual sex but I realize there is a risk for Herpes Whitlow (how likely is this and can it go asymptomatic as well)? Also, neither of us have ever been without shorts on, so this again would decrease the chances of exposure, because of how localized the virus is, correct (typically under boxers region)?

I plan on telling her tomorrow night, and I hope to have reassuring information for her so she doesn't stress out while waiting for her own results (I am going to strongly advise her to get tested) and then hope that I am still worth her time. Sorry for the long post, and thanks for reading/listening/answering.

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Teacher Man

Alright, she's at risk from acquiring HSV 2 if you're carrying it regardless of the presence of symptoms. If you haven't had sex

(penetration or oral) than she's likely fine thus far. I was diagnosed in September...my sexual strategy is honesty, antivirals,

and condoms. If you're on antivirals and using protection, the odds are pretty low that she'd catch it. So you can express that

to her to help ut her at ease. The first days are the hardest...it's stressful, but be honest, and it'll be fine.

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    • Ashleerae
      Yeah whoops, I didn't see you wrote HSV-1 until later haha. I definitely see your point. 
      Just some random thoughts on the subject that I've been thinking about similar to your situation, even if they are a little different. I've been in a workplace where a girl was the herpes girl so I totally get that. Not the brand you want. Yeah it is so common. Somebody else in the room probably has it, like you said. It feels like its so unnatural and isolated when diagnosed because nobody talks about it, but its so freaking common. Maybe people are more open about HSV1, but maybe not.  Who knows if the rest of the world will catch up. It's nice to not care what the rest of the world has to say sometimes. That would be tough at 18-22 having everyone you know find out. I assume my own hometown will find out one day from someone who knows; that was one of my other biggest fears about this too, but it's fading. I guess I better start working on my comeback game so it's in the holster when I need it Have a good night, good thread Hairpees.  
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Runride and welcome to the website, I hope there is some thoughts to assist in your thinking. Wow, where do live? Sounds a bit like 'Deliverance' country or something out of a David Lynch movie. I'm very sorry about that. I have three options for your consideration. They are not in order of any particular preference. 1. Ignore it. Go about your life as per normal. You are the actor on your own stage and the other players will do what they do. Do as you wish to do with your life and other people will buy into that, or they're not welcome on your journey. Herpes plays the role it always has for you. You inform partners in advance of sex. 2. Take a stand to be open about your status. Requires a bit more bravery to put yourself out there for little short term reward certainly. "Yes I have herpes like most of us do orally or genitally. What do you feel the issues surrounding this are? What ought to be different in our lives and the way we live them as a result?" 3. Move to a new environment to give yourself a better chance of living life under option 1 or even option 2 above.
    • Broken Butterfly
      For sure, why bother if it’s pointless and costly but I get what you mean.  
    • Broken Butterfly
      I said I considered it but not that I was going to sue- I have no idea what my options are here.  
    • Hairpees
      I’m definitely not saying you need to file a lawsuit, you’ll read on here most people don’t have success. I’ve mentioned it because hes not responding to you so maybe that will wake him up.
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