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Feeling Violated . Everyone deserves a CHOICE

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I am completely convinced i was intentionally infected by a man i had frequently been dating. The only person I had been sexually active with in months. When I confronted him that i was going to the doctors because i was worried about a tear in my skin down south, he said it will be okay, and if its not "you just have to take a pill" . WHO SAYS THAT?! The more i think back about his sanitary procedures after sex, his mannerism’s and that he needed to shower immediately after being intimate etc. I am convinced he had already had this virus. I can't imagine now that i know i have this, not giving my next partner the CHOICE. I contacted the police and they said without any hard evidence it is just circumstantial. My doctor is completely convinced it is in fact a NEW case and not the virus just making itself present in my body all of a sudden. New sex partner within six months, and a outbreak within three weeks of unprotected sex. Such a terrible mistake on my behalf. He made me comfortable and out the door went my dignity and common sense. I found out i was positive on Valentines Day ... that’s less than a week ago. And I'm feeling pretty strong for the most part. I have researched the hell out of this virus and already have lived a very healthy lifestyle before hand, but the truth is i NEVER thought it would be Me ... you know the one in five women.... not in a million years did i think at 24 I would have this burden upon me. I want to sue this guy. I don’t know what to do, let it go or start calling lawyers. Is it worth my effort or will i just further stress myself out? It kills me to think this Man will only continue to infect young women in San Diego. Does anyone have any advise for me in my situation. I am a kind person and believe in karma. Some days i think I need to walk away from the situation and others I am hot as fire. Emotional yes.:madd:

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I know how you feel. My ex never told me about his cold sores. He preformed oral on my countless times without any outbreaks. I do not know that I have herpes or not, but if I do, I got it from not only viral shedding but a viral shedding liar. I'm also younger than you.

I'm sorry hun...I'm emotionally drained and I just feel like crying for you and for me and for everyone else.

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The guy you describe sounds just like the last guy I was with! Except he would shower before and after and would always want to take it into the shower!!! Is that normal?

I have gone through the blame game, and to be honest, so many people are asymptomatic....they don't know either! Or there symptoms are so mild, they chalk it up to something else!

For me it was part of the anger & denial stage to blame someone else, now I don't want to dig through my past. I just want to move forward!

I was totally uneducated on herpes, thought that if someone did have herpes, I would know, because all I was educated about was that there are big, oozing sores!! How come nobody tells you that you can have absolutly NO symptoms and contract a life long std.

The classic "herpes" symptoms are just not the case and people need to be educated on this!

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i know the feeling girls! same story, my ex gave it to me knowingly, and didnt tell me he had it! and tried to shift the blame to me when it was 100% him!! drained too..but thers no point of looking back, jus move fwd..looking back wont take away our std! oh and btw i was 19 when i got it, felt like my lifes been ruined so young

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • StayingUpbeat
      First, that your doctor simply tried non-generic valacyclovir instead of referring you to a dermatologist is surprising.  If you are taking daily Valacyclovir, and still have frequent visible lesions, a competent dermatologist would prescribe something called Foscarnet.  It is unfortunately an injection and (I believe) it must be administered weekly at an injection center or hospital.  However, the combination of weekly foscarnet and daily valacyclovir would almost certainly eliminate your visible outbreaks.  It's important to note that no current drug combination is known to totally eliminate HSV shedding.  You would need to have routine blood monitoring on this combination as Foscarnet has some potential side effects. Next, there are members on this site who have been able to obtain a drug called Amenalief from Japan.  It's a recently approved (in Japan) member of a class of HSV drugs called Helicase Primase Inhibitors (HPI): https://www.mimaki-family-japan.com/item/detail?item_prefix=TF&item_code=705711&item_branch=001 It is bio-similar to a drug called Pritelivir which is currently in clinical trials in the US for HSV in the immuno-compromised (i.e. organ transplants, HIV).  A member in this thread talks specifically about his experience taking 100mg/day to help with outbreaks.  It unfortunately sounds very expensive to take suppressively.  Finally, there was recently a small successful clinical trial on the use of topical squaric acid dibutylester (SADBE) for the control of HSV.  If your doctor is comfortable trying alternate therapies to control your outbreaks topical SADBE is an FDA approved cream that you could discuss trying.  My recommendation would be to bring this paper discussing the trial to your next doctor's visit.  It would be an off-label use but the cream is relatively benign.  It's most frequent use is clearing-up cutaneous warts on children. As always none of this discussion constitutes medical advice (I am simply a middle-aged engineer not a doctor) and you should always follow the direction of your doctor or medical professional over advise found on the internet.  One of these three options may however improve your situation.  Unless there is something other than HSV going on.
    • Hellothere123
      I really don’t feel like I can keep going on with this, it’s always in the back of my head and I feel like I’m not worthy of love anymore and I just want to end it all 
    • honkschonks
      @Anon222 I told the women I have slept with most recently. She’s been a regular partner who has had zero symptoms. She’s going to get tested. She’s the most level headed person I know and a good friend. One doctor told me for legal reasons to tell everyone in the past year that I have it. Another doctor said that’s unrealistic and pointless. I have no idea when it started as I had no major undoubtable outbreak, so going back a year may be too far, it may not be far enough. I’m not sure what to do. It has irritated me how casual doctors are about this. It won’t kill you but The emotional effect of knowing you have it or thinking you may have it seems to be more damaging than having it. People on here talking about suicide. I guess that’s why they don’t test for it, or it just got out of hand and there’s no going back. Strangely I haven’t been that stressed about it. Luckily I’ve been very busy working so I haven’t had time worry about it. Thanks @NY12345 for your thoughts.
    • Runride
      I've heard of STD dating sites but have never looked into one. Are they real? And does anyone have any experience with them?  If someone does I would really like to hear some details.  They sound kind of scary, but it seems it could also be a relief to know I would be less likely to be judged for this condition.
    • IcantThinkofaName
      I've also considered this option..and its still looking like a good idea. so... Did you try any other Av's like famvir or privetir? I think there are some others too...  Up the vitamin C, check your vit D levels via bloodwork... Are you stressed out or have a stressful lifestyle ( aside from having HSV, which alone is a stressor)? There are no other health issues going on ? How hard are your workouts? The last few Obs I had were after very intense resistance/weight workouts, and I was completely exhausted after...combined with a night of bad or little sleep. Tried L- glutamine supplementation? Lithium orotate ( its a supplement too) has been known to supress the virus/replication too. I have also read it could mutate it...not sure how accurate that is, or if there was a study that proved that..maybe google it. I took The lithium one time and it was an abbreviated/shorter Outbreak than others...but I was also taking alot of vit C, or it could have happened for another reason...I'll never know for sure. but...mediating for 12 hours a day might help too... (seriously) but just don't meditate on HSV. Or maybe in another year your body will get a better hold on the virus and can cope better. it is depressing, I can relate.  My Obs have finally  lessened after 1 yr and 3 months. I still have almost daily sensations, tingling though..I'm probably contagious AF. Sex isn't really on the radar anymore. so No reason to take the AVs as they cause some side effects for me. Time to join that monastery. There are more important things in life than sex, right?  (thats what some people are telling me and I want to punch them. I really liked/enjoyed sex) Hang in there. I was told after the 6 yr mark, HSV becomes a non issue in your body. ( thats what one of my Drs told me, so  not sure how accurate that is either, but I guess it gives me 4.5 years of hope) let me know if any of this helps or you find something that does.I wish you the best.  

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