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He's not careful


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:roll: Starting new relationship. Told him right off the bat about my status (HSV1). He has no problems about and wants to work through it. Thinks I am the one he has been looking for. We talk everynight for 2 or 3 hours - he believes in open communication / no secrets. Don't get me wrong that is cool. Last night, we were having a deep discussion about sex and circumstance. He said he really likes oral sex but sex (in general) was going to be a determining factor in our relationship. He wants someone he can go to the movies, hit the malls, talk to, etc..... Making Love would just be a bonus.

My problem is his outlook is - if he contracts it (accidental or otherwise) it won't upset him because we are going to be together and it doesn't matter. We discuss safety precautions but after his revelation last night got me thinking. I am bound and determined if we are together he is not going to contract it :!:

Guess just little confused today (not alot of sleep). How do you get around this without someone getting hurt?? Really do like him alot - makes me really happy and feel secure. Like having this warm, fuzzy feeling 24/7 that won't go away.

Thank You!!

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He's accepted the risk and that is something that you have to come to terms with. There are ways to reduce his chances of contracting herpes but nothing is 100%. You could use condoms and be on suppressive therapy if you wanted to... but ultimately that's something that the two of you have to decide together.

Has he been tested for herpes as well as other stds? He may have herpes and not even know it. I think it's probably a good idea to find out so you will both know what you have on your plate and there will be no surprises.

Good Luck and Merry CHRISTmas!!

Angela :D

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Thank You!!

Thank You!! I know he hasn't. I can suggest it to him. Actually, he would do it to make me happy. I am suppose to call him later. We talk once or twice during the day too. I will see what he says......................

Merry Christmas and A Very Happy New Year!!!

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sounds familiar

I worry about my boyfriend not worrying. We use condoms but he still likes oral sex as well even though he knows the statistics. I guess as long as you educate your partner you have to let him be an adult and make his own choices.

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Thanks All!!!

:o Well, I went to see him over Christmas weekend. We talked. He said, yes, to testing but is doing it to make me happy (he didn't say that but know that is what he is thinking). He knows about the disease and the effects of it (used to be EMT - some medical training). Still does not bother him worries more about me. When the appropriate time comes would like kids, white picket fence and whole 9 yards. Guess, after this weekend relaxed more about his decision. Talked about the person who gave it to me but he says "Anger & hate are wasted emotions - nothing gain and nothing changed why waste the energy." So life is (as we) are moving on and enjoying each other's company. Just going to take it one day at a time.

Thank You and Have a Wonderful & Safe New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

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I'm so glad these men are accepting of your status girls!! It's really responsable to talk and talk some more about the risks and also to have open comunication in a relationship.

Useing condums is always a good idea in a relationship if your not married.Using dental dams or "Saran Wrap" for oral sex is a good idea (and can be fun :wink: ) to prevent the spread of herpes when he give oral.It may take some convincing though if a man hasn't used dental dams befor.

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    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JS.245 and welcome to the website. The pictures aren’t that suggestive of herpes. Hard to tell from the pics what’s going on, but that could be a number of things. Are the larger bump bubble things persistent? What you have in the pics is hence independent of your herpes status.  The test results are inclusive - most people test over 5 if they are infected.  Do you have a history of oral cold sores?
    • JS.245
      Hey, just got a STD test a while ago after noticing these showing up at the base of my penis, but its been about 5 months since I was with someone and now these are showing up. It doesn't hurt nor do I have any other symptom that I know of. I'm trying to see what's up before I go to the doctors because I don't have insurance and I'm very anxious about the situation. the std test was expensive as is. 
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      I have not found a cheaper source for Amenalief, and I've searched high and low. I have a thread called "Pritelivir at Last" you may want to follow as I have a strong belief that It may be available to the public in the summer of 2024 and as I find new info, I update the thread immediately. Now, may I suggest a combination of drugs that several others on this forum have found to be very effective over acyclovir alone? Myself and others have found that taking 40mg of omeprazole (Tagamet @dissolvedo2 ) with 1 gram of Valacyclovir in the morning and 1 gram of Valacyclovir in the evening alone for 3 days have had profound effectiveness at stopping outbreaks in their tracks. I'd like to remind you that I am not a doctor and at best I am personal researcher for what works for me. I @lw@ys share my findings with the forum in the hopes to help others alleviate their suffering. There is another drug combo that I have tried myself as well as others on this forum have tried and that I personally feel is a much more effective for myself. This combo is 1 gram of activated charcoal with 1-gram of valacyclovir in the morning followed by 1 gram of valacyclovir in the evening alone, again for 3 days. I have found that this has reduced my outbreaks to almost only once a year and they are mild at worse. Again, just a reminder that this works for me and may not work for you but I always feel that i have to share this with anyone that cannot get this virus under control so I hope my findings can help those of you who cannot achieve relief with the standard treatment alone. The stronger anti-virals come with risks and if I can help anyone avoid those risks then by all means I feel I have done some good in this world. I only ask that you let me know if either of these suggestions work for you so that I can document it in my notes. Good luck my friend!
    • EnglishGirl
      Hi @Anxious 1234 Did you get diagnosis for this?
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