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He's not careful

lajc

By lajc
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lajc Honeycomb Member

lajc

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:roll: Starting new relationship. Told him right off the bat about my status (HSV1). He has no problems about and wants to work through it. Thinks I am the one he has been looking for. We talk everynight for 2 or 3 hours - he believes in open communication / no secrets. Don't get me wrong that is cool. Last night, we were having a deep discussion about sex and circumstance. He said he really likes oral sex but sex (in general) was going to be a determining factor in our relationship. He wants someone he can go to the movies, hit the malls, talk to, etc..... Making Love would just be a bonus.

My problem is his outlook is - if he contracts it (accidental or otherwise) it won't upset him because we are going to be together and it doesn't matter. We discuss safety precautions but after his revelation last night got me thinking. I am bound and determined if we are together he is not going to contract it :!:

Guess just little confused today (not alot of sleep). How do you get around this without someone getting hurt?? Really do like him alot - makes me really happy and feel secure. Like having this warm, fuzzy feeling 24/7 that won't go away.

Thank You!!

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SpecialGuest1234 Acknowledged Support Member

SpecialGuest1234

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He's accepted the risk and that is something that you have to come to terms with. There are ways to reduce his chances of contracting herpes but nothing is 100%. You could use condoms and be on suppressive therapy if you wanted to... but ultimately that's something that the two of you have to decide together.

Has he been tested for herpes as well as other stds? He may have herpes and not even know it. I think it's probably a good idea to find out so you will both know what you have on your plate and there will be no surprises.

Good Luck and Merry CHRISTmas!!

Angela :D

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lajc Honeycomb Member

lajc

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Thank You!!

Thank You!! I know he hasn't. I can suggest it to him. Actually, he would do it to make me happy. I am suppose to call him later. We talk once or twice during the day too. I will see what he says......................

Merry Christmas and A Very Happy New Year!!!

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artist_atl Honeycomb Member

artist_atl

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sounds familiar

I worry about my boyfriend not worrying. We use condoms but he still likes oral sex as well even though he knows the statistics. I guess as long as you educate your partner you have to let him be an adult and make his own choices.

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lajc Honeycomb Member

lajc

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Thanks All!!!

:o Well, I went to see him over Christmas weekend. We talked. He said, yes, to testing but is doing it to make me happy (he didn't say that but know that is what he is thinking). He knows about the disease and the effects of it (used to be EMT - some medical training). Still does not bother him worries more about me. When the appropriate time comes would like kids, white picket fence and whole 9 yards. Guess, after this weekend relaxed more about his decision. Talked about the person who gave it to me but he says "Anger & hate are wasted emotions - nothing gain and nothing changed why waste the energy." So life is (as we) are moving on and enjoying each other's company. Just going to take it one day at a time.

Thank You and Have a Wonderful & Safe New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

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Cherry Cola Established Member

Cherry Cola

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I'm so glad these men are accepting of your status girls!! It's really responsable to talk and talk some more about the risks and also to have open comunication in a relationship.

Useing condums is always a good idea in a relationship if your not married.Using dental dams or "Saran Wrap" for oral sex is a good idea (and can be fun :wink: ) to prevent the spread of herpes when he give oral.It may take some convincing though if a man hasn't used dental dams befor.

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