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Hey guys...I need a bit o' help....

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I know this isn't the place to be asking for a diagnosis but I need help and this lovely website seems full of informational and inspirational people...I figure this is a site that helps people and I am in some serious need of it. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't *think* of anything but HERPES!

I just recently found out my (ex) boyfriend used to get a lot of cold sores. He told me they were from being out in the cold, because that's what he really believed..I guess. I did some research and found out cold sores are actually herpes.

Too late now. :madd:

Over a span of 3 months he gave me oral frequently without any cold sores or tingle feelings or anything. (He had a cold sore maybe 2 months after these events) I don't think his actual lips touched me much down there, mostly tongue. But I guess that doesn't matter. There was one time though, where I was dry and he "opened" my lips and it sort of cracked...I couldn't even see the cut..anyway he gave me oral anyway. Can this be transmitted through saliva? What about viral shedding, what is the possibility I could've picked this up via that? And what about my actual mouth? I kissed him a lot but he wasn't very good and thus I swallowed a lot of spit.

With all those things against me I feel I am doomed to have herpes, I torture myself day and night with replaying images of how I made the mistake of dating him (he wasn't a very good boyfriend to me to begin with). I am ashamed, I am guilty, I am restless. I spent the last 3 days educating myself on herpes. I never thought this would potentially happen to me: I am healthy, I eat all organic foods, I have the dreams for the future....I am 16.

But. . .I haven't had any symptoms and it's been 6 months since these events happened. I realize that it could lay dormant in my body for years and I may never know, but I also know deep down that since Herpes IS a *skin issue* I would of most likely had a break out by now. Why? Because I have extremely sensitive skin and allergy issues. I can literally blotch out my entire face, neck, and chest with hideous redness, whenever I eat fruit I also get a blotch right by my eye. If I know my body at all...I would've had a reaction to Herpes; although my immune system is decently good.

But now, everything is starting to get to me (basically I started to freak out when I found out he had cold sores, during the last 6 months nothing bothered me obviously because I didn't know). My mind can create problems, I feel itchy all over my body and even what seems to me like an ulcer happening on the inside of my lip, and I read somewhere that Herpes doesn't happen in the inside of your mouth. I say ulcer because I just ate pickles with cracked lips and pickles usually give me ulcers, also stress does too. I AM SO STRESSED. Oh, and the little ulcer thing just came on today and it doesn't hurt. It may not even be an ulcer, I might have just bit my mouth with my teeth. Truth is I'm paranoid and am going to find any little thing on my body that I can manipulate into herpes.


1) If I were to have a child in the future, could I never kiss him/her because of this viral shedding (if it were on my mouth)?, could I hardly ever touch her/him without washing my hands? (in case I touched an area with herpes)

2) Should I avoid touching myself at all? Like, not touching my face, my arms, my fingers, my privates...legs, etc. I don't want herpes in my eyes or fingers....it would probably drive me to suicide.

3) Will there be any cure in the future? I hear Dr. Bloom is working on it. Can your immune system cure it at all? I REFUSE to take any medication daily. REFUSE! I only believe in all natural products and will not limit myself on a pill or side effects.

4) Giving the information I have told you, what are the chances that I would have Herpes? Based on your experience and knowledge. . . It will help a very frightened 16 year old girl if you took your time to answer. I am already going to learn to drive and get my license purposely for the fact I can go to Planned Parenthood and get a Herpes test. This wont be for months, though.

Thank you all...

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If it's been 6 months, and you haven't experienced any symptoms, you may not have contracted it. I'm not saying that as a diagnosis, by any means. Many people carry it and never know, because they don't get any symptoms, or they're so mild, they go unnoticed. Only a test will tell you for certain. If you don't want to tell your parents, isn't there a trusted friend who could take you for a test?

Regardless, you need to calm down. You have this blown way out of proportion in your mind. To answer your questions...

1. If you have a child, of course you can kiss him. If you ever get a cold sore, naturally, you'll want to avoid kissing and sharing utensils then, but mothers with oral herpes kiss and hug their children all the time. That's what mothers do.

2. Unless you're experiencing symptoms, there's no reason to avoid touching yourself anywhere. And if you did get an ob, the only way you could transmit it to another part of your body would be to touch the ob area then your eyes or face without washing your hands. It's not as easy to spread around as you might think.

3. There will probably be a cure, but when is unknown. Your immune system cannot "cure" herpes, but it can suppress it. As for meds, herpes does not require treatment, and the choice of whether to take suppressive meds is entirely up to the individual. Personally, I never have. Many people do.

4. The chances you contracted it are unknown. I'm sorry, but there are no 'odds' I can quote you. You may have it asymptomatically, or you may not have it at all. For your own peace of mind, try to find some way to go get tested as soon as possible. You're driving yourself crazy worrying about it.

If it turns out that you did contract it, I can tell you that's it's not the big deal you have it built up as in your mind, especially if you don't get outbreaks. I've had genital herpes (and I suspect oral, as well) for about 4 years now, and it really hasn't changed my life at all. Herpes is as much about how you perceive it, as it is about the virus itself. If you make it a big deal in your life, it will take over your life, and that's so sad to see. It's just not worth forfeiting your happiness to.

Another thought... your parents know you had a boyfriend. If you tell them he got cold sores, and you recently found out they're caused by a contagious virus, I'm sure they'd be supportive if you wanted to go get tested. Without an ob that could be swabbed, a blood test will tell you whether you carry the virus, but it won't tell you where... genitally or orally. There wouldn't even be any need to tell them you were having sex, if they didn't already know. You might want to think about it.

Whatever you decide to do, calm down. It's not a crisis. It's not the end of the world. And all your dreams are still within your grasp. I promise.

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This cannot be spread by sharing utensils, towels, cups or toilet seats, so dont worry about those.

Come to the Chat Room, there you will meet many nice fellow Herpsters who can offer you their support.

Good luck!


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Someone who is as hypersensitive as you would likely have noticed any subtle symptoms on your genitals. And, you likely have antibodies to HSV-1 (cold sores), which gives you substantial protection against acquiring HSV on your genitals.

70% of the population has antibodies to HSV-1. Everyone has oral sex. But, without symptoms, and without your boyfriend having a cold sore during that period, there is absolutely no reason to think you have contracted herpes on your genitals.

I know it's difficult but try to relax. You have nothing.

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Why don't you try looking into Oil of Oregano P73? I use that as my only miracle for hsv2. My other miracle is DMSO used to drive the OOO to the cellular level. http://www.dmso-use.com/

I have had no outbreaks since, been eating all the trigger foods, have my period, under a lot of stress, lack of sleep, and no pain/sores.

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • StayingUpbeat
      First, that your doctor simply tried non-generic valacyclovir instead of referring you to a dermatologist is surprising.  If you are taking daily Valacyclovir, and still have frequent visible lesions, a competent dermatologist would prescribe something called Foscarnet.  It is unfortunately an injection and (I believe) it must be administered weekly at an injection center or hospital.  However, the combination of weekly foscarnet and daily valacyclovir would almost certainly eliminate your visible outbreaks.  It's important to note that no current drug combination is known to totally eliminate HSV shedding.  You would need to have routine blood monitoring on this combination as Foscarnet has some potential side effects. Next, there are members on this site who have been able to obtain a drug called Amenalief from Japan.  It's a recently approved (in Japan) member of a class of HSV drugs called Helicase Primase Inhibitors (HPI): https://www.mimaki-family-japan.com/item/detail?item_prefix=TF&item_code=705711&item_branch=001 It is bio-similar to a drug called Pritelivir which is currently in clinical trials in the US for HSV in the immuno-compromised (i.e. organ transplants, HIV).  A member in this thread talks specifically about his experience taking 100mg/day to help with outbreaks.  It unfortunately sounds very expensive to take suppressively.  Finally, there was recently a small successful clinical trial on the use of topical squaric acid dibutylester (SADBE) for the control of HSV.  If your doctor is comfortable trying alternate therapies to control your outbreaks topical SADBE is an FDA approved cream that you could discuss trying.  My recommendation would be to bring this paper discussing the trial to your next doctor's visit.  It would be an off-label use but the cream is relatively benign.  It's most frequent use is clearing-up cutaneous warts on children. As always none of this discussion constitutes medical advice (I am simply a middle-aged engineer not a doctor) and you should always follow the direction of your doctor or medical professional over advise found on the internet.  One of these three options may however improve your situation.  Unless there is something other than HSV going on.
    • Hellothere123
      I really don’t feel like I can keep going on with this, it’s always in the back of my head and I feel like I’m not worthy of love anymore and I just want to end it all 
    • honkschonks
      @Anon222 I told the women I have slept with most recently. She’s been a regular partner who has had zero symptoms. She’s going to get tested. She’s the most level headed person I know and a good friend. One doctor told me for legal reasons to tell everyone in the past year that I have it. Another doctor said that’s unrealistic and pointless. I have no idea when it started as I had no major undoubtable outbreak, so going back a year may be too far, it may not be far enough. I’m not sure what to do. It has irritated me how casual doctors are about this. It won’t kill you but The emotional effect of knowing you have it or thinking you may have it seems to be more damaging than having it. People on here talking about suicide. I guess that’s why they don’t test for it, or it just got out of hand and there’s no going back. Strangely I haven’t been that stressed about it. Luckily I’ve been very busy working so I haven’t had time worry about it. Thanks @NY12345 for your thoughts.
    • Runride
      I've heard of STD dating sites but have never looked into one. Are they real? And does anyone have any experience with them?  If someone does I would really like to hear some details.  They sound kind of scary, but it seems it could also be a relief to know I would be less likely to be judged for this condition.
    • IcantThinkofaName
      I've also considered this option..and its still looking like a good idea. so... Did you try any other Av's like famvir or privetir? I think there are some others too...  Up the vitamin C, check your vit D levels via bloodwork... Are you stressed out or have a stressful lifestyle ( aside from having HSV, which alone is a stressor)? There are no other health issues going on ? How hard are your workouts? The last few Obs I had were after very intense resistance/weight workouts, and I was completely exhausted after...combined with a night of bad or little sleep. Tried L- glutamine supplementation? Lithium orotate ( its a supplement too) has been known to supress the virus/replication too. I have also read it could mutate it...not sure how accurate that is, or if there was a study that proved that..maybe google it. I took The lithium one time and it was an abbreviated/shorter Outbreak than others...but I was also taking alot of vit C, or it could have happened for another reason...I'll never know for sure. but...mediating for 12 hours a day might help too... (seriously) but just don't meditate on HSV. Or maybe in another year your body will get a better hold on the virus and can cope better. it is depressing, I can relate.  My Obs have finally  lessened after 1 yr and 3 months. I still have almost daily sensations, tingling though..I'm probably contagious AF. Sex isn't really on the radar anymore. so No reason to take the AVs as they cause some side effects for me. Time to join that monastery. There are more important things in life than sex, right?  (thats what some people are telling me and I want to punch them. I really liked/enjoyed sex) Hang in there. I was told after the 6 yr mark, HSV becomes a non issue in your body. ( thats what one of my Drs told me, so  not sure how accurate that is either, but I guess it gives me 4.5 years of hope) let me know if any of this helps or you find something that does.I wish you the best.  

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