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LostWeekend

This one really stinks!!

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LostWeekend

I laugh every time I read the name of this forum, but it really is the ideal place for me to start a thread. I feel like a big ol' piece of poo right now and the only fitting place is in the "bog of eternal stench." I see people on here with so much positive energy and optimism and that is wonderful... for them. I on the other hand am in misery and can't seem to get out of my funk!

I love the support here, wouldn't be back if I didn't. There are so many great people using and contributing to this website. I just think there must be others that feel somewhat similar to what I am right now, too. So I hope that no one takes any of my rants the wrong way. I know life goes on, I am just not at that stage in the game yet. Hopefully I will get there sooner than later...

Basically, these are things I don't want to hear: Don't tell me H is very common. Don't tell me it's just a skin condition. Don't tell me that it won't change who I am. Don't tell me it will only get the best of me if I let it. Don't tell me it will get better in time. Don't tell me it could be worse... I know that to a degree, all of that is true. However, at this point, it all of that means nothing to me. This has been the worst possible experience added on to what was already an f-ed up 31st year of my life. So, forgive me if I am not Sally Sunshine and loath the fact that I even know that this website exists. (I certainly didn't know before and as much as I love you all, I was ok with that!)

Now, I have read stories on here much worse than mine. And I know that I am not the only person in the world who feels like H sucks ass and shouldn't have to deal with this. No one should! My mind simply won't let me get over the fact that a series of misfortunate events even led me to be dealing with this in the first place. Some totally uncharacteristic actions, bad decisions, crappy "friends," and fateful circumstances. Can't go back and change them now, I know that. But still doesn't make them any less annoying or make me stop thinking about the how and why this all had to happen when I was finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I have a very strong, motivated, perfectionist personality. Not so great with the H thrown in. I feel like I am losing my marbles on a daily basis with all this. :mixedupface:

Funniest part in all this, I am still officially undiagnosed! 3 1/2 months of hell. I know it has to be H. H=Hell in a handbasket!

Anyone else who has wanted to throw something, kick someone, burst into tears, or scream at the top of their lungs, please feel free to join me for a venting session one night in chat. That would surely spice things up! (watch out JB!!) lol :motz:

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MsLucy

I have just finally gotten over 4... yes, count 'em FOUR!... back-to-back obs, at the same time I was fighting off a staph infection I picked up somewhere. Talk about your 'month from Hell'!!! I almost visited "the Bog" myself a couple weeks ago to drop a big ol' boggy turd, so I hear ya, girl. Sometimes it all just sucks the big weiner. :argh:

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Iris72

I feel ya!!! Everything you said I have felt at one time or another since Jan. I don't care if it can be managed. I never even knew of Lysine vs. Arganine and was just fine with that. The whole last year of my life has been full of obstacles and this is NOT the ending I had in mind. The worst part is I seem to get full on flu symptoms with this and feel awful. You can't tell people "Oh, it's just herpes". I feel like I am being punished yet I don't know what for. This really sucks.

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