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Socks80

Hello

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Socks80

So I am new to this whole thing... Well chatroom support I guess.. I have had the Herpes virus for well over 6 years.. I was lucky to have contracted this virus through my ex husband... Big reason he is my ex husband... I contracted it the least common way... apparently he was not smart enough to know that if you have a cold sore in your mouth you CAN and will give someone genital herpes if you have oral sex with them... Lucky me.. So now we aren't together and I am struggling with telling partners I have this virus/medical condition. :(

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Fairy dust

Hi there Socks 80,

Welcome to this great site - there are lots of lovely people here who have been through what you are going through now, so I am sure you will find loads of support.

I know how hard it is to tell new partners, but I have found that if you just wait a little while to be sure they are really into you as a person and not just for sex, it makes it easier to have 'the talk!'. I have also noticed that if I explain that it is like having coldsores but down below, they seem to be able to accept this explanation and mull it over while researching the facts!

It is awkward but not the end of the world - there are lots of great guys out there and I'm sure you will find one of them soon enough!!

Take care x

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Socks80

Thank you! I have had this for a little over 5 years. I actually contracted it right after I went through a miscarriage so I wasn't really sure it was Herpes. I am currently going through a stressful time right now. Because I have been talking to a guy since Thanksgiving and we became intimate for the first time a week ago and I haven't had "the talk" with him yet. I feel really bad for not telling him and really meant to before we became intimate but in the heat of passion I didn't... I haven't been intimate with him or anyone since then because I feel like I owe it to myself and him to tell him. I am just afraid he is going to be really mad at me. :( Which I would deserve... He would be the second partner I have had since my divorce..

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  • Posts

    • floydmonk
      I had my first outbreak in June, very close to the date of your post. I healed up before the end of the month and it was about as many as you mentioned. I have gHSV1. The test was done on the left under the head of my penis because I had mostly healed by the time I made it to the doctor. There has been pain ever since in that one spot, but there hasn’t been any outbreaks. There are visible red spots that seem to linger forever. I’m a little concerned about this. Overall I’m lu it it is bite type 2 and I am doing my best to manage it. I hope you are doing well also since June. My wife and I (who I think I got it from) use condoms to prevent her from contracting it genitally. It’s a much more serious problem for women than men, as it can be internal for them and affect childbirth. Condoms are critical until a cure comes around, and there looks to be promising research. Hope you are well.    
    • floydmonk
      I have been suffering from nerve pain after my first outbreak in June. Today I tried a charlotte’s web salve product and it took the pain away. I wouldn’t use it during an active outbreak though for risk of spreading it.
    • Quest
      Unfortunately that is the most common place men get infected!
    • Quest
      They are not the yardstick that you measure your worth with! It also tells you something about each and every one of them! To the ones you treated you well before I would personally talk to them and see if that was actually what he said to them? Maybe he said something different?
    • AnonF
      I just disclosed to a man who works in the medical field and he didn't make a big deal at all. He shared his sti results w me I didn't see HSV1 on the test report, so I asked him about it and that opened up the discussion. The discussion of it was maybe 2 sentences tops. That was reassuring. We've since had sex and there was no hesitation or weirdness. So I recommend dating people w medical knowledge
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