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GodHope

I'm 18...just being diagnosed today....

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GodHope

I have about 6 ex girlfriends however I have never had any sexual contact with any of them except petting... Until my latest girl. We had unprotected sex twice and she gave me oral sex once.... All along i have never ever wanted to be sexually active at all...I'm a medical student aiming to be a general practitioner. However, just one day after receiving oral sex from her... I notice an ulcer on her lip which i still didn't think of it as herpes until an ulcer on my penis developed....

The fact that she told me before "some things cannot tell me yet" and her great reluctance in giving me oral... Suggests that she already knew about her condition...sigh....why didn't she tell me...I wouldn't leave her even if I don't have this virus and she has

Oh well..it's still my fault....

I'm just 18... And do all these for the first time....and straight away getting it....

I'm really in an emotional distress now....I think I'm dirty...I keep thinking on the fact that it's going to affect me for life so hard that I even managed to keep a fever running despite medications and paracetamol.... I really don't know what to do anymore....

Doctor diagnosed genital herpes...but i know i have oral herpes as well from her cuz she kissed me many many times and i ever resulted in an ulcer on my lip which i didn't think of it as herpes then.... I'm still waiting for my blood test report but i know i have it because doctor's one look already said "yea it is herpes" and antiviral drug really did improve my condition....

Please help me......I really don't know what to do anymore....I just feel stress...lost..... please advice....

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WarriorKing

If you should also have oral herpes you will have just joined the majority of American adults who also carry this virus. This thing is so common that even at Walmart last night, their featured video sales ad on the end of the aisle was for Abreva to make cold sores go away faster.

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GodHope

I'm just...really really lost now.....Because of the genital herpes...my mom thought I spread it through myself by oral herpes....but she doesn't know my sexual activity...I feel so bad for keeping it from her...

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norcallove

Hi. I know you feel bad about keeping this from your mom, but this is a medical condition and the only person that really needs to know is your doctor and any potential partners in the future. I'm sorry you are having a hard time dealing with this. It is really hard in the beginning, but it will get better with time. Read the links on the right, there is a lot of great information there. You are not dirty, you are the same exact person you were before your diagnosis. You are only dirty if you don't take a shower. This is a very common and mostly harmless skin condition. Take care. I swear, it really does get better. I was diagnosed in November and things have already gotten so much better. :)

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GodHope

I have both genital and oral herpes...sigh...thanks for your warm words though :) are you really able to lead a normal life now...?

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norcallove

Honestly, I am able to live a normal life now. Of course, I still think about it every once and awhile, but I have moved on from being upset and somewhat obsessive lol about it. I have it and nothing is going to change that, so I basically decided to move on from it and live my life the the fullest. I know there will be some hard days or bad days sometime in the future - but we all have hard days and bad days due to numerous other things. I just won't let my diagnosis define me. I wasn't feeling like this when I first found out though, of course. I would have never thought this is how I would have felt eventually when I first found out, but here I am. So, yes, it does get better with time. It is different for everyone how much time it takes though.

I am a very positive person in general, so I really think that helped me with this. I had been with my BF for 4 months when I got my diagnosis. He is negative. He wanted to stay with me from the second I told him and said nothing changed. He has been great about it and very supportive. So that helps as well. I told my best friend and my mom and they were amazing. Also, this site has helped (and continues to do so) SOOOO much!

We're all here for you to help it get better for you :)

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GodHope

thank you..really thanks you... but i really feel guilty for hiding the real truth on how i got it..but i really dont know how to tell her..shes very conservative..well so is my country.. and i have been a virgin all the way till this latest girl..my mother expects me to be a virgin all the way till marriage...shes been really supportive so far...all the more makes me scared to tell her the real reason how i got it... and im sorry...just on curiousity...do you have both too like me?

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norcallove

I have both HSV1 and HSV2, according to my blood test. I have only had genital symptoms though (GHSV2). I have never had oral symptoms, but I do carry the HSV1 virus, which is typically orally (especially since I have HSV2 genitally). My mom and tons of my extended family get cold sores, so I am not surprised that my blood test revealed that I had HSV1.

I know you feel guilty, but you don't have to tell her how you really got it if you don't want to. I know it is hard lying to your mom, but what good would it really do to tell her the truth? Honestly, as I said before, it is your medical condition and a lot of people don't even tell their parents. I don't see any reason to tell her how you really got it. If it won't make you feel better then I personally wouldn't tell her. I know lying is bad, but this is a personal thing and she does not need to know all of your sexual history. Especially since you're in a conservative country and your mom is conservative. Its all up to you though. You know your self best and you know your mom best. If the guilt is too bad and you don't think she will react badly, then maybe tell her, but you really don't have to. I hope that helps. Guilt is hard to deal with, but there is no reason you need to tell your mom how you got it. In my opinion at least.

How are you doing otherwise? Take care. :)

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TMC

Hi :)

I was 18 when i was diagnosed too (now 19) and i too caught it at the same time i lost my virginity. How unfortunate!

I found out when i had been with my current boyfriend for around 8 months but he wanted to stay with me and it doesn't make an issue in our relationship.

It does get better i promise, i felt like the world was going to end as well. But even just popping in here now and again has made me feel a lot better and i haven't been registered here long at all, knowing other people are going through the same thing really helps and makes me feel kind of 'normal' and not like a dirty freak.

Hope you feel better soon.

My parents have no idea about what i've got, nobody does apart from my boyfriend and theres no need for anyone else to know. You shouldn't feel bad for not telling her.

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GodHope

Thank you for your warm replies norcallove and TMC.. im still suffering from my first OB. my gums are still heavilly swollen and i have 3 open sores in my genital...and my self-esteem is still spiralling down.. I also have a great concern that me or my girlfriend may have spread it to my eyes.....

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db8trgirl

I know what you mean about being in college with this stuff. Tests and midterms have thrown me into a huge break out this weekend I think. But I am still going to continue with my plans. It isn't as bad when you get over that first OB.

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norcallove

Inferno - First off - How are you doing today? Are you feeling any better physically or emotionally? Why do you think you or your gf spread it to your eyes?

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GodHope

I'm feeling 80% fine today. After many encouragement I finally do feel close to being a normal person as I was. I'm still me, I think the same, act the same, talk the same even sing the same...and I still feel for unfortunate people I see on the street. I'm worried because she touch my eyes very often even during her OB on her mouth... Anw I'm worried about HIV now...antibiotic or antivirus both do not seem to help my swollen gums, nor does rinsing chlorhexadine help...could she have spread HIV to me as well.....doomed...

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WarriorKing

Unless your girl tested positive for HIV, there is zero chance that she could have given you something that she does not have.

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norcallove

As Mrhonest said - you can only get HIV from someone who has it. I know its hard, but try to stop worrying so much. It is going to be ok. I'm glad you're starting to feel a little more normal.

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GodHope

The thing is she refuse to be tested for anything... My doctor tell me to check for HIv 6 months later

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norcallove

That is ridiculous. Personally, I wouldn't continue a sexual relationship with someone who refuses to be tested...

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db8trgirl

You might want to try and express how much it would benefit her. You can also offer to do the test with her, or express how much it would mean to you and your mental wellbeing right now. Tell her that it doesn't matter what the results are, you just want the two of you to be aware and safe. If you try this and she still says no, she may still be in denial herself, in which case she is in no place to be in a relationship.

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norcallove
You might want to try and express how much it would benefit her. You can also offer to do the test with her, or express how much it would mean to you and your mental wellbeing right now. Tell her that it doesn't matter what the results are, you just want the two of you to be aware and safe. If you try this and she still says no, she may still be in denial herself, in which case she is in no place to be in a relationship.

Perfectly said!!

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stars

Hey, I just found out today that I have both types too. I have them both "down there" though. I haven't had any ulcers....I don't really know what to say cause I'm not really sure what to do..the doctor told me if I needed anything I should call, but I'm not even sure what I need...My first OB has already come and gone and it was very mild...I'm grateful for that..I really don't know where I'm going with this. I guess I just want someone to talk to.

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GodHope

Thanks guys...really. And db8 that's a good advise :) I think one concern is cost, since we're both just students.. Oh hi stars, well for me I found it beneficial telling my mother and my close friends, because after which they gave me a lot of support. That is essential to make me feel normal again. If u're worried about future outbreaks, you can use a suppressive therapy. If not, quickly eat the anti viral med once you feel any itch or tingling sensation to possibly stop the outbreak in it's tracks

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GodHope

Thanks guys...really. And db8 that's a good advise :) I think one concern is cost, since we're both just students.. Oh hi stars, well for me I found it beneficial telling my mother and my close friends, because after which they gave me a lot of support. That is essential to make me feel normal again. If u're worried about future outbreaks, you can use a suppressive therapy. If not, quickly eat the anti viral med once you feel any itch or tingling sensation to possibly stop the outbreak in it's tracks

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    • StayingUpbeat
      First, that your doctor simply tried non-generic valacyclovir instead of referring you to a dermatologist is surprising.  If you are taking daily Valacyclovir, and still have frequent visible lesions, a competent dermatologist would prescribe something called Foscarnet.  It is unfortunately an injection and (I believe) it must be administered weekly at an injection center or hospital.  However, the combination of weekly foscarnet and daily valacyclovir would almost certainly eliminate your visible outbreaks.  It's important to note that no current drug combination is known to totally eliminate HSV shedding.  You would need to have routine blood monitoring on this combination as Foscarnet has some potential side effects. Next, there are members on this site who have been able to obtain a drug called Amenalief from Japan.  It's a recently approved (in Japan) member of a class of HSV drugs called Helicase Primase Inhibitors (HPI): https://www.mimaki-family-japan.com/item/detail?item_prefix=TF&item_code=705711&item_branch=001 It is bio-similar to a drug called Pritelivir which is currently in clinical trials in the US for HSV in the immuno-compromised (i.e. organ transplants, HIV).  A member in this thread talks specifically about his experience taking 100mg/day to help with outbreaks.  It unfortunately sounds very expensive to take suppressively.  Finally, there was recently a small successful clinical trial on the use of topical squaric acid dibutylester (SADBE) for the control of HSV.  If your doctor is comfortable trying alternate therapies to control your outbreaks topical SADBE is an FDA approved cream that you could discuss trying.  My recommendation would be to bring this paper discussing the trial to your next doctor's visit.  It would be an off-label use but the cream is relatively benign.  It's most frequent use is clearing-up cutaneous warts on children. As always none of this discussion constitutes medical advice (I am simply a middle-aged engineer not a doctor) and you should always follow the direction of your doctor or medical professional over advise found on the internet.  One of these three options may however improve your situation.  Unless there is something other than HSV going on.
    • Hellothere123
      I really don’t feel like I can keep going on with this, it’s always in the back of my head and I feel like I’m not worthy of love anymore and I just want to end it all 
    • honkschonks
      @Anon222 I told the women I have slept with most recently. She’s been a regular partner who has had zero symptoms. She’s going to get tested. She’s the most level headed person I know and a good friend. One doctor told me for legal reasons to tell everyone in the past year that I have it. Another doctor said that’s unrealistic and pointless. I have no idea when it started as I had no major undoubtable outbreak, so going back a year may be too far, it may not be far enough. I’m not sure what to do. It has irritated me how casual doctors are about this. It won’t kill you but The emotional effect of knowing you have it or thinking you may have it seems to be more damaging than having it. People on here talking about suicide. I guess that’s why they don’t test for it, or it just got out of hand and there’s no going back. Strangely I haven’t been that stressed about it. Luckily I’ve been very busy working so I haven’t had time worry about it. Thanks @NY12345 for your thoughts.
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      I've heard of STD dating sites but have never looked into one. Are they real? And does anyone have any experience with them?  If someone does I would really like to hear some details.  They sound kind of scary, but it seems it could also be a relief to know I would be less likely to be judged for this condition.
    • IcantThinkofaName
      I've also considered this option..and its still looking like a good idea. so... Did you try any other Av's like famvir or privetir? I think there are some others too...  Up the vitamin C, check your vit D levels via bloodwork... Are you stressed out or have a stressful lifestyle ( aside from having HSV, which alone is a stressor)? There are no other health issues going on ? How hard are your workouts? The last few Obs I had were after very intense resistance/weight workouts, and I was completely exhausted after...combined with a night of bad or little sleep. Tried L- glutamine supplementation? Lithium orotate ( its a supplement too) has been known to supress the virus/replication too. I have also read it could mutate it...not sure how accurate that is, or if there was a study that proved that..maybe google it. I took The lithium one time and it was an abbreviated/shorter Outbreak than others...but I was also taking alot of vit C, or it could have happened for another reason...I'll never know for sure. but...mediating for 12 hours a day might help too... (seriously) but just don't meditate on HSV. Or maybe in another year your body will get a better hold on the virus and can cope better. it is depressing, I can relate.  My Obs have finally  lessened after 1 yr and 3 months. I still have almost daily sensations, tingling though..I'm probably contagious AF. Sex isn't really on the radar anymore. so No reason to take the AVs as they cause some side effects for me. Time to join that monastery. There are more important things in life than sex, right?  (thats what some people are telling me and I want to punch them. I really liked/enjoyed sex) Hang in there. I was told after the 6 yr mark, HSV becomes a non issue in your body. ( thats what one of my Drs told me, so  not sure how accurate that is either, but I guess it gives me 4.5 years of hope) let me know if any of this helps or you find something that does.I wish you the best.  
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