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Diagnosed & in a relationship.....i need major advice asap!!!!

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I have been in a relationship for three years and me and my boyfriend have a two year old son. Last year I found out my boyfriend had been cheating on me with this girl for months. Of course they had sex but he claims it was only twice and they used a condom. He also said the girl gave him oral sex without a condom more than twice. Sounds like bs to me but anyways I was devestated when I found out he cheated on me. I had been 100% faithful to him are entire relationship. I wouldnt even conversate with another guy. Well we broke up for about two months and I took him back. I had lost complete trust for him and I started to feel like he was still cheating. I began to talk to other guys because I felt like he was still sneaking around even though we where back together. It was the summer and I was going out more with friends and running into alot of cute guys. Oneday I ran into an old friend I used to date. We exchanged numbers and started talking again. We started going out and one night I had some drinks and we had unprotected sex. I trusted him because I've known him since 2005, we just lost in contact over the years and I cut him off when me and my boyfriend started dating. I regret having unprotected sex so bad because I didnt know what he had been doing. It was definately the drinks in me beause this was definately not my normal behavior. I remember me and this guy came close to having sex back in 2005 but he didnt have a condom and I refused. I dont think this guys wears condoms!!!Anyways, a few days later I noticed I felt weird in my vagina. It started to feel really irritated like a yeast infection. The irritation continued for about two weeks and I decided to go to the docter. My docter tested me for std's because I told her about my encounter but she informed me that I probably just had some irritation from his sperm. She treated me for a bacterial infection and prescribed me antibiotics. My results came back a couple of days later and everything was neagative. I was relieved but I know that it takes three to six months for herpes and hiv to show in your blood; so I wasnt completely relieved. I decided to return to my docter in September to be retested for everything. Especially, since I was still having irritation in the vaginal area that would come and go. A week later I called in to check on the status of my results and I thought it was weird that they wouldnt tell me my results on the phone because they had done so before. I went into the docters office the same day because I was anxious to know what was going on. When I arrived my docter informed me that I had tested positive for HSV 1 & HSV 2. I was aware of the HSV 1 because I was diagnosed with that when I had a cold sore in high school. I had also tested positive for HSV 1 three months before. She prescribed me Valtrex and asked if I had any questions. I told her again about my encouneter and current boyfriend. She told me that it was really know way of knowing how I contracted it. She told me that it could have been either or I could have given it to my boyfriend during oral sex and he infected me vaginally. I was so shocked and a few days later I broke down in my car and cryed. I was in denial and went to my ob/gyn for a second opinion. I avoided my boyfiend sexually until I got my second set of results. This time my results came back inconclusive and they told me to come back and retest in three months. Well this was back in October of 2010. Every since I've continued having irritation off and on. My vagina has not been the same since my encounter with this guy. I've had the most vaginal problem ever;sometimes my vagina is very itcy, tingly and irritated. These symtoms last for almost a week and go away but return in a few days or maybe weeks. I've felt normal down there for about a month and the symotoms returned. I have not had any sores until last week. I had one sore on my vagina that was itchy and sore. Im convinced that I have herpes. Im supposed to be going to my ob/gyn tomorrow for birth control reasons and I plan to ask to be retested. I've been so depressed about this situation because I dont know if I got this from my boyfriend or the other guy. I've been feeling guilty and horrible because I havent discussed this situation with my boyfriend. Its also possible that my boyfriend didnt tell me everything and contracted it from the girl he cheated on me with or someone else. If I got this from the other guy Im sure my boyfriend has contracted it by now because we where having unprotected sex those three months I thought I was clean. My boyfriend also takes the condom off because he dosent like using them since we've been having unprotected sex for three years and Im on birth control. Im so scared to talk to him and its no way Im telling him about my encounter with the other guy. He's not that type of guy I can tell anything. He's very jealous and has anger problems and I dont know how he might react. Im just tired of keeping this secret. I wonder if he has had any symptoms. I remember him complaining about his testicles hurting about a month ago and he's been sick with flu like symtoms three times in the last couple of months. What should I do??? How do you think I contracted this??? How should I tell my bf???

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It sounds like either way the relationship is broken. If he anger issues you might want to be careful as to how and if you tell him. This relationship sounds pretty bad and it might be affecting your child if there is alot of fighting. If he has had pain down there and knows hes been cheating unprotected with other girls than its on him to figure it out. I would just pack up and move on with life for the child.

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • StayingUpbeat
      First, that your doctor simply tried non-generic valacyclovir instead of referring you to a dermatologist is surprising.  If you are taking daily Valacyclovir, and still have frequent visible lesions, a competent dermatologist would prescribe something called Foscarnet.  It is unfortunately an injection and (I believe) it must be administered weekly at an injection center or hospital.  However, the combination of weekly foscarnet and daily valacyclovir would almost certainly eliminate your visible outbreaks.  It's important to note that no current drug combination is known to totally eliminate HSV shedding.  You would need to have routine blood monitoring on this combination as Foscarnet has some potential side effects. Next, there are members on this site who have been able to obtain a drug called Amenalief from Japan.  It's a recently approved (in Japan) member of a class of HSV drugs called Helicase Primase Inhibitors (HPI): https://www.mimaki-family-japan.com/item/detail?item_prefix=TF&item_code=705711&item_branch=001 It is bio-similar to a drug called Pritelivir which is currently in clinical trials in the US for HSV in the immuno-compromised (i.e. organ transplants, HIV).  A member in this thread talks specifically about his experience taking 100mg/day to help with outbreaks.  It unfortunately sounds very expensive to take suppressively.  Finally, there was recently a small successful clinical trial on the use of topical squaric acid dibutylester (SADBE) for the control of HSV.  If your doctor is comfortable trying alternate therapies to control your outbreaks topical SADBE is an FDA approved cream that you could discuss trying.  My recommendation would be to bring this paper discussing the trial to your next doctor's visit.  It would be an off-label use but the cream is relatively benign.  It's most frequent use is clearing-up cutaneous warts on children. As always none of this discussion constitutes medical advice (I am simply a middle-aged engineer not a doctor) and you should always follow the direction of your doctor or medical professional over advise found on the internet.  One of these three options may however improve your situation.  Unless there is something other than HSV going on.
    • Hellothere123
      I really don’t feel like I can keep going on with this, it’s always in the back of my head and I feel like I’m not worthy of love anymore and I just want to end it all 
    • honkschonks
      @Anon222 I told the women I have slept with most recently. She’s been a regular partner who has had zero symptoms. She’s going to get tested. She’s the most level headed person I know and a good friend. One doctor told me for legal reasons to tell everyone in the past year that I have it. Another doctor said that’s unrealistic and pointless. I have no idea when it started as I had no major undoubtable outbreak, so going back a year may be too far, it may not be far enough. I’m not sure what to do. It has irritated me how casual doctors are about this. It won’t kill you but The emotional effect of knowing you have it or thinking you may have it seems to be more damaging than having it. People on here talking about suicide. I guess that’s why they don’t test for it, or it just got out of hand and there’s no going back. Strangely I haven’t been that stressed about it. Luckily I’ve been very busy working so I haven’t had time worry about it. Thanks @NY12345 for your thoughts.
    • Runride
      I've heard of STD dating sites but have never looked into one. Are they real? And does anyone have any experience with them?  If someone does I would really like to hear some details.  They sound kind of scary, but it seems it could also be a relief to know I would be less likely to be judged for this condition.
    • IcantThinkofaName
      I've also considered this option..and its still looking like a good idea. so... Did you try any other Av's like famvir or privetir? I think there are some others too...  Up the vitamin C, check your vit D levels via bloodwork... Are you stressed out or have a stressful lifestyle ( aside from having HSV, which alone is a stressor)? There are no other health issues going on ? How hard are your workouts? The last few Obs I had were after very intense resistance/weight workouts, and I was completely exhausted after...combined with a night of bad or little sleep. Tried L- glutamine supplementation? Lithium orotate ( its a supplement too) has been known to supress the virus/replication too. I have also read it could mutate it...not sure how accurate that is, or if there was a study that proved that..maybe google it. I took The lithium one time and it was an abbreviated/shorter Outbreak than others...but I was also taking alot of vit C, or it could have happened for another reason...I'll never know for sure. but...mediating for 12 hours a day might help too... (seriously) but just don't meditate on HSV. Or maybe in another year your body will get a better hold on the virus and can cope better. it is depressing, I can relate.  My Obs have finally  lessened after 1 yr and 3 months. I still have almost daily sensations, tingling though..I'm probably contagious AF. Sex isn't really on the radar anymore. so No reason to take the AVs as they cause some side effects for me. Time to join that monastery. There are more important things in life than sex, right?  (thats what some people are telling me and I want to punch them. I really liked/enjoyed sex) Hang in there. I was told after the 6 yr mark, HSV becomes a non issue in your body. ( thats what one of my Drs told me, so  not sure how accurate that is either, but I guess it gives me 4.5 years of hope) let me know if any of this helps or you find something that does.I wish you the best.  

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