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diagnosed a few months ago....i need help

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I have been in a relationship for three years and me and my boyfriend have a two year old son. Last year I found out my boyfriend had been cheating on me with this girl for months. Of course they had sex but he claims it was only twice and they used a condom. He also said the girl gave him oral sex without a condom more than twice. Sounds like bs to me but anyways I was devestated when I found out he cheated on me. I had been 100% faithful to him are entire relationship. I wouldnt even conversate with another guy. Well we broke up for about two months and I took him back. I had lost complete trust for him and I started to feel like he was still cheating. I began to talk to other guys because I felt like he was still sneaking around even though we where back together. It was the summer and I was going out more with friends and running into alot of cute guys. Oneday I ran into an old friend I used to date. We exchanged numbers and started talking again. We started going out and one night I had some drinks and we had unprotected sex. I trusted him because I've known him since 2005, we just lost in contact over the years and I cut him off when me and my boyfriend started dating. I regret having unprotected sex so bad because I didnt know what he had been doing. It was definately the drinks in me beause this was definately not my normal behavior. I remember me and this guy came close to having sex back in 2005 but he didnt have a condom and I refused. I dont think this guys wears condoms!!!Anyways, a few days later I noticed I felt weird in my vagina. It started to feel really irritated like a yeast infection. The irritation continued for about two weeks and I decided to go to the docter. My docter tested me for std's because I told her about my encounter but she informed me that I probably just had some irritation from his sperm. She treated me for a bacterial infection and prescribed me antibiotics. My results came back a couple of days later and everything was neagative. I was relieved but I know that it takes three to six months for herpes and hiv to show in your blood; so I wasnt completely relieved. I decided to return to my docter in September to be retested for everything. Especially, since I was still having irritation in the vaginal area that would come and go. A week later I called in to check on the status of my results and I thought it was weird that they wouldnt tell me my results on the phone because they had done so before. I went into the docters office the same day because I was anxious to know what was going on. When I arrived my docter informed me that I had tested positive for HSV 1 & HSV 2. I was aware of the HSV 1 because I was diagnosed with that when I had a cold sore in high school. I had also tested positive for HSV 1 three months before. She prescribed me Valtrex and asked if I had any questions. I told her again about my encouneter and current boyfriend. She told me that it was really know way of knowing how I contracted it. She told me that it could have been either or I could have given it to my boyfriend during oral sex and he infected me vaginally. I was so shocked and a few days later I broke down in my car and cryed. I was in denial and went to my ob/gyn for a second opinion. I avoided my boyfiend sexually until I got my second set of results. This time my results came back inconclusive and they told me to come back and retest in three months. Well this was back in October of 2010. Every since I've continued having irritation off and on. My vagina has not been the same since my encounter with this guy. I've had the most vaginal problem ever;sometimes my vagina is very itcy, tingly and irritated. These symtoms last for almost a week and go away but return in a few days or maybe weeks. I've felt normal down there for about a month and the symotoms returned. I have not had any sores until last week. I had one sore on my vagina that was itchy and sore. Im convinced that I have herpes. Im supposed to be going to my ob/gyn tomorrow for birth control reasons and I plan to ask to be retested. I've been so depressed about this situation because I dont know if I got this from my boyfriend or the other guy. I've been feeling guilty and horrible because I havent discussed this situation with my boyfriend. Its also possible that my boyfriend didnt tell me everything and contracted it from the girl he cheated on me with or someone else. If I got this from the other guy Im sure my boyfriend has contracted it by now because we where having unprotected sex those three months I thought I was clean. My boyfriend also takes the condom off because he dosent like using them since we've been having unprotected sex for three years and Im on birth control. Im so scared to talk to him and its no way Im telling him about my encounter with the other guy. He's not that type of guy I can tell anything. He's very jealous and has anger problems and I dont know how he might react. Im just tired of keeping this secret. I wonder if he has had any symptoms. I remember him complaining about his testicles hurting about a month ago and he's been sick with flu like symtoms three times in the last couple of months. What should I do??? How do you think I contracted this??? How should I tell my bf???

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If your bf is the type that has anger issues and you don't feel safe with him, herpes or no herpes, then you may want to find a way to move away from that relationship. Your doctor is right, you cannot know where exactly the virus moved to you from. Don't beat yourself up with "unsolvable" problems, like this mystery that you can never solve. Just move forward in your life.

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • Miss Horne
      There’s new treatment available for cmv and shingles but nothing yet for hsv. It’s like a slap in the face! 
    • Miss Horne
      Any ladies out there suffered with this? There seems to be little information about it on the net. Thanks in advance. 
    • Roja
      Rejection will be there during your whole life. But not because of herpes, also because of how you are, at work, at your private life. It's just a part of life! Just have in mind that if people reject you because of stupid little things like herpes, they are not even worth continuing as a part of your life.  I think the best way of fighting the stigma is to be 100% convinced that there is NO NEED to feel ashamed, bad, disgusting because of herpes. I one day understood some very important thing: I did NOTHING differently than my friends who don't have herpes. I had sex (they did), sometimes with protection (they did), sometimes without (they did). I had ONS (they did), I had long term relationships (they did), I received wonderful and less wonderful oral sex, haha (they did). The only difference is that I got genital herpes from someone who didn't even know. So why exactly should I feel disgusting or bad?  And also: Know the facts. That is the safest way to destroy stigma in my opinion. If someone tells you: "Yuck! Herpes is disgusting!" you can answer: "I don't think that 80 % of the world population are disgusting because they have a virus in their bodies."  I also recommend this video from "Laureen". She has really great videos about herpes!       
    • Miss Horne
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    • WilsoInAus
      @PeaceNeeded no there is zero relationship between penile spines and HSV-2, no such variant is possible.

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