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diagnosed a few months ago....i need help

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I have been in a relationship for three years and me and my boyfriend have a two year old son. Last year I found out my boyfriend had been cheating on me with this girl for months. Of course they had sex but he claims it was only twice and they used a condom. He also said the girl gave him oral sex without a condom more than twice. Sounds like bs to me but anyways I was devestated when I found out he cheated on me. I had been 100% faithful to him are entire relationship. I wouldnt even conversate with another guy. Well we broke up for about two months and I took him back. I had lost complete trust for him and I started to feel like he was still cheating. I began to talk to other guys because I felt like he was still sneaking around even though we where back together. It was the summer and I was going out more with friends and running into alot of cute guys. Oneday I ran into an old friend I used to date. We exchanged numbers and started talking again. We started going out and one night I had some drinks and we had unprotected sex. I trusted him because I've known him since 2005, we just lost in contact over the years and I cut him off when me and my boyfriend started dating. I regret having unprotected sex so bad because I didnt know what he had been doing. It was definately the drinks in me beause this was definately not my normal behavior. I remember me and this guy came close to having sex back in 2005 but he didnt have a condom and I refused. I dont think this guys wears condoms!!!Anyways, a few days later I noticed I felt weird in my vagina. It started to feel really irritated like a yeast infection. The irritation continued for about two weeks and I decided to go to the docter. My docter tested me for std's because I told her about my encounter but she informed me that I probably just had some irritation from his sperm. She treated me for a bacterial infection and prescribed me antibiotics. My results came back a couple of days later and everything was neagative. I was relieved but I know that it takes three to six months for herpes and hiv to show in your blood; so I wasnt completely relieved. I decided to return to my docter in September to be retested for everything. Especially, since I was still having irritation in the vaginal area that would come and go. A week later I called in to check on the status of my results and I thought it was weird that they wouldnt tell me my results on the phone because they had done so before. I went into the docters office the same day because I was anxious to know what was going on. When I arrived my docter informed me that I had tested positive for HSV 1 & HSV 2. I was aware of the HSV 1 because I was diagnosed with that when I had a cold sore in high school. I had also tested positive for HSV 1 three months before. She prescribed me Valtrex and asked if I had any questions. I told her again about my encouneter and current boyfriend. She told me that it was really know way of knowing how I contracted it. She told me that it could have been either or I could have given it to my boyfriend during oral sex and he infected me vaginally. I was so shocked and a few days later I broke down in my car and cryed. I was in denial and went to my ob/gyn for a second opinion. I avoided my boyfiend sexually until I got my second set of results. This time my results came back inconclusive and they told me to come back and retest in three months. Well this was back in October of 2010. Every since I've continued having irritation off and on. My vagina has not been the same since my encounter with this guy. I've had the most vaginal problem ever;sometimes my vagina is very itcy, tingly and irritated. These symtoms last for almost a week and go away but return in a few days or maybe weeks. I've felt normal down there for about a month and the symotoms returned. I have not had any sores until last week. I had one sore on my vagina that was itchy and sore. Im convinced that I have herpes. Im supposed to be going to my ob/gyn tomorrow for birth control reasons and I plan to ask to be retested. I've been so depressed about this situation because I dont know if I got this from my boyfriend or the other guy. I've been feeling guilty and horrible because I havent discussed this situation with my boyfriend. Its also possible that my boyfriend didnt tell me everything and contracted it from the girl he cheated on me with or someone else. If I got this from the other guy Im sure my boyfriend has contracted it by now because we where having unprotected sex those three months I thought I was clean. My boyfriend also takes the condom off because he dosent like using them since we've been having unprotected sex for three years and Im on birth control. Im so scared to talk to him and its no way Im telling him about my encounter with the other guy. He's not that type of guy I can tell anything. He's very jealous and has anger problems and I dont know how he might react. Im just tired of keeping this secret. I wonder if he has had any symptoms. I remember him complaining about his testicles hurting about a month ago and he's been sick with flu like symtoms three times in the last couple of months. What should I do??? How do you think I contracted this??? How should I tell my bf???

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If your bf is the type that has anger issues and you don't feel safe with him, herpes or no herpes, then you may want to find a way to move away from that relationship. Your doctor is right, you cannot know where exactly the virus moved to you from. Don't beat yourself up with "unsolvable" problems, like this mystery that you can never solve. Just move forward in your life.

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • floydmonk
      I had my first outbreak in June, very close to the date of your post. I healed up before the end of the month and it was about as many as you mentioned. I have gHSV1. The test was done on the left under the head of my penis because I had mostly healed by the time I made it to the doctor. There has been pain ever since in that one spot, but there hasn’t been any outbreaks. There are visible red spots that seem to linger forever. I’m a little concerned about this. Overall I’m lu it it is bite type 2 and I am doing my best to manage it. I hope you are doing well also since June. My wife and I (who I think I got it from) use condoms to prevent her from contracting it genitally. It’s a much more serious problem for women than men, as it can be internal for them and affect childbirth. Condoms are critical until a cure comes around, and there looks to be promising research. Hope you are well.    
    • floydmonk
      I have been suffering from nerve pain after my first outbreak in June. Today I tried a charlotte’s web salve product and it took the pain away. I wouldn’t use it during an active outbreak though for risk of spreading it.
    • Quest
      Unfortunately that is the most common place men get infected!
    • Quest
      They are not the yardstick that you measure your worth with! It also tells you something about each and every one of them! To the ones you treated you well before I would personally talk to them and see if that was actually what he said to them? Maybe he said something different?
    • AnonF
      I just disclosed to a man who works in the medical field and he didn't make a big deal at all. He shared his sti results w me I didn't see HSV1 on the test report, so I asked him about it and that opened up the discussion. The discussion of it was maybe 2 sentences tops. That was reassuring. We've since had sex and there was no hesitation or weirdness. So I recommend dating people w medical knowledge

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