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Green n Blue

Hi there

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Green n Blue

Hi there,

Just wanted to say hi to those who pass by from time to time. I guess most people here have read several stories already but somehow I feel I need to tell mine too (or write it) since I haven't told anyone about it and sometimes letting it out helps...

I was diagnosed with genital herpes on April of last year. I had been sleeping with my boyfriend and only my boyfriend for 8 months. One day I started feeling like I was catching a bad cold: low grade fever, painful joints, headache, and unable to sleep well. It lasted for about a week, until one day after sex I discovered these small red "bumps" in my pubic area. Since I had recently shaved that area I didn't make much of it thinking it was probably just irritation. But as the days passed the little bumps grew ugly, itchy and painful. Within a few days the area was totally covered with blisters and the pain was so bad I couldn't seat confortably. I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with it, firsttime infection the doctor said.

I remember getting in my car outside the doctor's office and crying like a baby all the way back. My boyfriend (now ex) told me he didn't have herpes as far as he new. I had him get tested and he turned out to have both types of herpes and apparently for a while. I know sometimes people don't even know they have it, but I'm almost sure now that he knew all along and wasn't honest with me; however, at the time and for several reasons too complicated to explain, I didn't ended the relationship until several months later.

It's been a tough ride so far, I'm sure you know about that, and no one day goes by without me thinking about these hundreds things: will I ever meet a man who will want to be with me despite the herpes, how will I tell him about it, what if I fall in love and after a while he realizes he can't do it, how will I get pregnant, will I ever have children, will I die alone? and the list goes on...

I know there're by far worse things happening to people out there, and with herpes or without it, life is a gift. I have no doubt in my mind I'll keep on fighting to make the best out of my life. I'll grow as a person and be the best I can be, and will try my best to be positive and thankful for the good things I do have. I won't deny though that leaving with a chronic STD is a huge chalenge. My warmest thoughts to you all because I know what it feels like, and because I now know how much it hurts when you can't fix something even when you would give or do anything to fix it. Don't let the little bug turn you down though, we're so much more. Herpes is just a health condition like many others, and Herpes is not who we are.

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babybooh

Thanks for the post!!!

It was very optimistic and just what i needed to read right now. =) I'm not gonna let this define me.

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    • StayingUpbeat
      First, that your doctor simply tried non-generic valacyclovir instead of referring you to a dermatologist is surprising.  If you are taking daily Valacyclovir, and still have frequent visible lesions, a competent dermatologist would prescribe something called Foscarnet.  It is unfortunately an injection and (I believe) it must be administered weekly at an injection center or hospital.  However, the combination of weekly foscarnet and daily valacyclovir would almost certainly eliminate your visible outbreaks.  It's important to note that no current drug combination is known to totally eliminate HSV shedding.  You would need to have routine blood monitoring on this combination as Foscarnet has some potential side effects. Next, there are members on this site who have been able to obtain a drug called Amenalief from Japan.  It's a recently approved (in Japan) member of a class of HSV drugs called Helicase Primase Inhibitors (HPI): https://www.mimaki-family-japan.com/item/detail?item_prefix=TF&item_code=705711&item_branch=001 It is bio-similar to a drug called Pritelivir which is currently in clinical trials in the US for HSV in the immuno-compromised (i.e. organ transplants, HIV).  A member in this thread talks specifically about his experience taking 100mg/day to help with outbreaks.  It unfortunately sounds very expensive to take suppressively.  Finally, there was recently a small successful clinical trial on the use of topical squaric acid dibutylester (SADBE) for the control of HSV.  If your doctor is comfortable trying alternate therapies to control your outbreaks topical SADBE is an FDA approved cream that you could discuss trying.  My recommendation would be to bring this paper discussing the trial to your next doctor's visit.  It would be an off-label use but the cream is relatively benign.  It's most frequent use is clearing-up cutaneous warts on children. As always none of this discussion constitutes medical advice (I am simply a middle-aged engineer not a doctor) and you should always follow the direction of your doctor or medical professional over advise found on the internet.  One of these three options may however improve your situation.  Unless there is something other than HSV going on.
    • Hellothere123
      I really don’t feel like I can keep going on with this, it’s always in the back of my head and I feel like I’m not worthy of love anymore and I just want to end it all 
    • honkschonks
      @Anon222 I told the women I have slept with most recently. She’s been a regular partner who has had zero symptoms. She’s going to get tested. She’s the most level headed person I know and a good friend. One doctor told me for legal reasons to tell everyone in the past year that I have it. Another doctor said that’s unrealistic and pointless. I have no idea when it started as I had no major undoubtable outbreak, so going back a year may be too far, it may not be far enough. I’m not sure what to do. It has irritated me how casual doctors are about this. It won’t kill you but The emotional effect of knowing you have it or thinking you may have it seems to be more damaging than having it. People on here talking about suicide. I guess that’s why they don’t test for it, or it just got out of hand and there’s no going back. Strangely I haven’t been that stressed about it. Luckily I’ve been very busy working so I haven’t had time worry about it. Thanks @NY12345 for your thoughts.
    • Runride
      I've heard of STD dating sites but have never looked into one. Are they real? And does anyone have any experience with them?  If someone does I would really like to hear some details.  They sound kind of scary, but it seems it could also be a relief to know I would be less likely to be judged for this condition.
    • IcantThinkofaName
      I've also considered this option..and its still looking like a good idea. so... Did you try any other Av's like famvir or privetir? I think there are some others too...  Up the vitamin C, check your vit D levels via bloodwork... Are you stressed out or have a stressful lifestyle ( aside from having HSV, which alone is a stressor)? There are no other health issues going on ? How hard are your workouts? The last few Obs I had were after very intense resistance/weight workouts, and I was completely exhausted after...combined with a night of bad or little sleep. Tried L- glutamine supplementation? Lithium orotate ( its a supplement too) has been known to supress the virus/replication too. I have also read it could mutate it...not sure how accurate that is, or if there was a study that proved that..maybe google it. I took The lithium one time and it was an abbreviated/shorter Outbreak than others...but I was also taking alot of vit C, or it could have happened for another reason...I'll never know for sure. but...mediating for 12 hours a day might help too... (seriously) but just don't meditate on HSV. Or maybe in another year your body will get a better hold on the virus and can cope better. it is depressing, I can relate.  My Obs have finally  lessened after 1 yr and 3 months. I still have almost daily sensations, tingling though..I'm probably contagious AF. Sex isn't really on the radar anymore. so No reason to take the AVs as they cause some side effects for me. Time to join that monastery. There are more important things in life than sex, right?  (thats what some people are telling me and I want to punch them. I really liked/enjoyed sex) Hang in there. I was told after the 6 yr mark, HSV becomes a non issue in your body. ( thats what one of my Drs told me, so  not sure how accurate that is either, but I guess it gives me 4.5 years of hope) let me know if any of this helps or you find something that does.I wish you the best.  
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