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Green n Blue

Hi there

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Green n Blue

Hi there,

Just wanted to say hi to those who pass by from time to time. I guess most people here have read several stories already but somehow I feel I need to tell mine too (or write it) since I haven't told anyone about it and sometimes letting it out helps...

I was diagnosed with genital herpes on April of last year. I had been sleeping with my boyfriend and only my boyfriend for 8 months. One day I started feeling like I was catching a bad cold: low grade fever, painful joints, headache, and unable to sleep well. It lasted for about a week, until one day after sex I discovered these small red "bumps" in my pubic area. Since I had recently shaved that area I didn't make much of it thinking it was probably just irritation. But as the days passed the little bumps grew ugly, itchy and painful. Within a few days the area was totally covered with blisters and the pain was so bad I couldn't seat confortably. I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with it, firsttime infection the doctor said.

I remember getting in my car outside the doctor's office and crying like a baby all the way back. My boyfriend (now ex) told me he didn't have herpes as far as he new. I had him get tested and he turned out to have both types of herpes and apparently for a while. I know sometimes people don't even know they have it, but I'm almost sure now that he knew all along and wasn't honest with me; however, at the time and for several reasons too complicated to explain, I didn't ended the relationship until several months later.

It's been a tough ride so far, I'm sure you know about that, and no one day goes by without me thinking about these hundreds things: will I ever meet a man who will want to be with me despite the herpes, how will I tell him about it, what if I fall in love and after a while he realizes he can't do it, how will I get pregnant, will I ever have children, will I die alone? and the list goes on...

I know there're by far worse things happening to people out there, and with herpes or without it, life is a gift. I have no doubt in my mind I'll keep on fighting to make the best out of my life. I'll grow as a person and be the best I can be, and will try my best to be positive and thankful for the good things I do have. I won't deny though that leaving with a chronic STD is a huge chalenge. My warmest thoughts to you all because I know what it feels like, and because I now know how much it hurts when you can't fix something even when you would give or do anything to fix it. Don't let the little bug turn you down though, we're so much more. Herpes is just a health condition like many others, and Herpes is not who we are.

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Thanks for the post!!!

It was very optimistic and just what i needed to read right now. =) I'm not gonna let this define me.

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