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JacquelineHyde

Confronting him.

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JacquelineHyde

Hi guys, I'm brand new, in the middle of my first (terrible) outbreak. I pretty much know who gave me GH. Long story short... we work together, just recently started sleeping together, and I will be seeing him in a few days. I both want to talk to him about this and have an obligation to. I was just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to talk to him. We've been friends for a while and I have a feeling that he has no idea that he has herpes, so I don't want to be angry with him or anything. I just really don't know how to go about bringing it up and how this will affect our friendship/whatever we are. He really likes me and I feel bad about the fact that I will be the one who has to tell him he's carrying it, even though I know it's not my fault. I just wish we'd used protection and then I probably wouldn't have anything to worry about :/

Thanks

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WarriorKing

You can tell him that you had a small medical issue come up after your relations. And it is herpes. And you have read that often it shows no symptoms so either of you could have been a carrier. So he should get a blood test too.

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BranMakMorn

First, get all the medical and legal paperwork together, build a case that it is a new infection on your part. Did you do any background snooping on him? Try talking to previous girlfriends or other people he slept with, if you bring a criminal battery charge against, you can subpoena medical records as well as internet and financial activity as relating to the Herpes (i.e. did he have a Herp test, get treatment for it, does he frequent sites for H+ people, etc.)

Basically go Attila the Hun on him until you get the truth out of his butt and pays.

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JupiterDC

Wow. I'm in an almost identical situation. - Coworker, just started sleeping together, supposed to see each other tonight and I just had my outbreak confirmed, pretty sure he doesn't know he has it. Only difference is we did use protection.

I'm also sure he gave it to me. I disagree with the people above. I don't think you can be confrontational, it's only going to cause him to shut down on you. I'm really angry too and I would like to just sort of slap the shit out of him for doing this to me, but that won't accomplish anything. He may not know he has anything and if there is potential for a real relationship, you show a lot of emotional maturity about approaching it calmly.

I like this guy. I want something to maybe happen. This will be really hard to talk about with him because, like you, our relationship is not serious yet. But if he does want to be with me, we can be supportive of each other as we deal with our new reality. I'm going to talk to him while we are alone at my apartment (with some wine very close at hand) and try to talk calmly and seriously about it. Basically I'm going to try to channel the way my doctor very kindly spoke to me today.

Good luck.

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JacquelineHyde

So it actually turns out that I have type 1, but that doesn't change too much when it comes to talking to him. Which I did, and it went REALLY well! I was worried that he would be grossed out by me but he actually says he's glad I'm not grossed out by HIM now. I told him about the risks of transmitting it genitally, and he still wants to keep things going. We're gonna start using condoms. Obviously I won't have sex when I have an OB, feel one coming on, or getting over one as well.

This has actually made us closer. I learned that he's a really good guy in ways that I didn't know yet.

Have you talked to your guy yet?

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