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inshok2011

Recently Diagnosed

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inshok2011

Well, I'm 23 and I am pretty sure I have genital herpes, I am awaiting proper diagnosis from my doctor. But, I have all of the signs and symptoms, and he said he is 99% sure by looking. I have only had a few sexual partners my whole life, but my last partner (whom I got it from) I was with for almost 5 years. I have been routinely checked over the years and recently found out he was unfaithful, so he most likely caught it from someone else and passed it to me. So, as I was dealing with the breakup, I started getting these symptoms shortly after. I thought I was doing something good for myself by getting out of an abusive relationship with someone who was clearly unfaithful. Then I get the news...I just don't know how to go on. I'm not even promiscuous. I just don't understand, there are so many people out there having unprotected sex and don't end up having anything. I used to pride myself in being with only him for all these years and being clean. No matter what I do, how many showers I take, I feel disgusting. I had low self esteem before, but nothing like this, now its zero. I feel unattractive. When people tell me Im pretty or make advaces at me, I just wanna scream and say I HAVE HERPES DONT LOOK AT ME. It is such a disgusting feeling to know Im walking around with something because of someone else not having the decency to be honest or faithful. I don't understand how I can feel ok with myself. I see the world so differently, I don't want to go anywhere, do anything, talk to anyone. I want to get rid of all my cute clothes. Why dress up? Why look good? I have herpes, who wants that? Why wear makeup? Why go out? All I think about is having it, it consumes me.

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JBnATL

Sorry you are taking this so hard. It is only a very common, mostly harmless virus. Had you ever had mono, chicken pox or a cold sore? All of those are caused by the herpes virus. Would you feel the same if you had had mono?

I know there is a stigma out there about this, but there are A LOT of people out there who will look past it and see you for who you are. Go to the "Secrets to our Success" section of the forum and read all the stories there and you will feel much better.

Read all you can about this and you will realize how insignificant it is. I have had it many years and it has never stopped me from doing anything or anyone I wanted.

Come to the Chat Room, there you will find many nice fellow Herpsters who can offer you their support.

Good luck!

JB

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