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My struggle


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Well I guess I will just tell it all. I contracted H about four years ago from a man after he asked me to marry him. He either cheated on me or had it all along and never told me, and the one time we had unprotected sex it was on his request (I blamed myself for trusting him). Needless to say we broke up and he never even offered me any type of explanation or apology. Naturally he has moved on and is married and I am fighting with this issue (I feel so cheated). I have had very few partners and accept the responsiblity to tell the guys that I do become intimate with. But the responses have been the same. They tell me it's ok, we use protection. But they always become distant. I think they just don't want the burden of a relationship where H is involved. Now this guy and I have been friends for the past four years (I met him right after that other relationship) but I never told him because we have only been friends and never close to being intimate. Although I thought we had the perfect setting for begining a solid relationship I wanted to be up front and honest with him since we already established that we already cared for one another and we were truly friends. But just like the others he has become distant, it actually started the day I told him. I thought I did it right this time, he knows me, he knows the person that I am. And before I told him he was interested in me and now he hasn't even called me. Being alone and this type of disappointment is getting harder and harder to cope with. I am starting to honestly believe that I won't find anyone that will accept me and my condition. I do want to fall in love, get married, have children and all of that but I am starting to think it may not happen for me. A man doesn't want to marry a woman he will always have to use a condom with, may have complications if they decide to have children, or always have that dwelling in the back of his mind. I don't know what to do. I am honestly hoping that if I meet another man that I really like he already has H.

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I think they just don't want the burden of a relationship where H is involved.

I don't think having herpes is always the issue. Many times having sex too quickly before a relationship to get to know the person can be developed can be the issue. Maybe taking your time and getting to know the individual before having sex with them will improve your situation... ya know?

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