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Marie Elizabeth

Foreplay and spreading the virus?

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Marie Elizabeth

I told my partner on Friday that I just tested positive for HSV2. He told me he has not had any symptoms nor tested positive for it. However, after sharing many of the facts with him believes that there could be a chance that he could have it and did not know. He will be going to his doctor to have a blood test done. In any case he took the news very well and listened to me talk for hours about all that I had learned about the virus. He still wants to be intimate with me even if he may not have the virus and understands the risks. I asked him to wait till I have a follow up with my doctor in a couple days to see what the likely hood is that my first outbreak is not still active.

He is very touchy feely still which has raised a few questions that I have on foreplay. I have read the literature on this site but would like to hear what others think. I dont believe I have any sores and have been on Valtrex for 6 days. I do think that I had blisters a few days ago. Also, I am pretty sure it was my first OB which is the most contagious. Today he was touching me below the waistline if you catch my drift and I immediately made him go wash his hands. I am worried that if his fingers were to touch other areas of my body (like my stomach or chest) that I could get it there. He feels I am being a bit over cautious. I am new to this though and still have my own insecurities about it that I am working through. Most of the information I have found talks about actual intercourse and oral sex but not other forms of foreplay. Does anyone have any information they can share on the subject? In addition with his job his hands get all scraped up and dry/chapped. I am worried that he can get it on his fingers too. Oh one other question I have is would it be possible to be touching over underwear while active and get the virus on your hands?

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WolfSpirit292

I am new to all this as well, so I really only have a few answers. I know from what I've read that you should wait a full 7 days after everything has cleared up before engaging in any type of sexual activity as you are apparently still pretty contageous.

Now from the few things I've looked at about herpes on other parts of your body- ie, fingers- apparently you can get it on your fingers. But I'm not familair enough with it to say how it may or may not transfer there.

All I can say is you are NOT being paranoid making him wash his hands. If he touches you in an outbreak area- or you touch yourself to inspect things- hands gotta get wased immediatly. That's just good judgement on your part.

The other questions you asked I'd be interested in knowing about myself. As my husband and I have had similar concerns regarding transmission. As far as we know my husband doesn't have the virus, and I want to do everything in my power to keep it that way!

Only advice I can give with being new to this myself is wait the full 7 days till after your outbreak is over, and both of you wash your hands if you've been in contact with the outbreak area (which includes that 7 day period after the outbreak has ended).

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living777

I would be very interested in a little more definitive advice in this area as well. I'm newly diagnosed, and have read bunches of posts about intercourse and oral ...but I also wondered about what I'll refer to as "third base," before you round that bend. If you are not having an outbreak and someone strokes uses their fingers in/around your intimate areas should you both stop what you are doing then and "wash the hands" before moving further into the act. Or trading places perhaps? Would something as simple as Purell or another hand sanitizer do the trick and perhaps be less intrusive? I want to be safe -- but I'm also disturbed that if I tell a partner "go wash the hands -- NOW" advice will just enforce that unfortunate "dirty" stigma.

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Kitty123

My fiancee touches me all the time down there. I have HSV2. He has yet to get anything on his fingers.

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Kitty123

In the beginning I was so paranoid, and then I thought it was a waste of time. So, I am continuing to enjoy life. If my fiancee wants to touch me, I let him touch me. I don't get many OB's so I am not so worried, and I certainly don't even LIKE to be touched if I feel an OB coming. It's just uncomfortable for me and I can't even get aroused enough to let him do so anyway when I feel an OB coming. And even then, it doesn't even progress to an OB, just the raw dry feeling.

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Marie Elizabeth

Thanks everyone for the responses... I would like to hear from others. I am very worried because he works with his hands and they constintely have scratches, abrasions and small cuts.

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TMC

I'm not certain about this, but isn't HSV a skin spread virus therefore having cuts etc doesn't make much difference in terms of transmission? As its not spread through say blood for example like HIV?

Is that right or am i making things up?

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Kitty123

By the time you get it genitally, your body starts to develop antibodies and you can't spread it anywhere else. (at least its extremely rare)

As for NOT having the virus, and then touching someone in their genital area who does....well...l never got it on my hands when my giver had me touch him down there (and I didn't know)....so, I don't think it's that easy. To me, its either genital or oral. Herpetic whitlow is not very common that I've heard.

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WolfSpirit292

I was JUST reading about the spreading to different body parts... It is rare but can happen. It was talking in regards to gentital herpes that opens cuts or scratches down there can make it easier to spread/catch. So logic says it would work that way with your hands. I would say that when they say it is rare to spread to other body parts that they mean that with healthy hands. I would imagine the risk would go up with open wounds. That's just my logical thinking on it.

The reason it is rare to spread to other body parts is cause the virus, when becoming "active," travels up through your nerves to the site of the outbreak- multiplying on the skin to create the outbreak. The example it gave was that in the case of genital herpes, it can be around your buttocks, anus, upper thighs, and anywhere in your private region. The reason it can spread that way is that those nerves are all attached together so it's not unheard of for it to stray away from the original place you contracted it. But it IS rare to spread to a completely new set of nerves sections. So, something to think on.

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jeanann

I have a tidbit. I have been giving blood the past 3 years and since finding out I have GH. I was concerned I was unable to give blood so I contacted the Blood bank and they said its not a problem that I have GH and that I can still donate. It is not passed though the blood.

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Marie Elizabeth

Thanks everyone for the responses. I am still working through this and everyday I have questions. Not to get too graffic but I am looking for more feedback. We recently had sex for the first time since I discovered I had it by an outbreak (my first OB). I went back to the doctor for a follow up on Tuesday and she said everything was cleared up down there and that I could have sex with my boyfriend when my Valtrex course was complete which was 2 days later. We had sex then with a condom and it hurt depending on the angle. Afterwords I was irrated and there was a speck of blood. I thought it may have triggered another OB as this is what happened right before I experienced my first OB. I felt sore for 1 day but now I feel fine again. I went right from my first course of Valtrex to taking it daily for suppression. Transmission is not a concern for my partner. I do have concerns about spreading it to other parts of the body (his or mine). I used to shave completely down there but now I am a little scared too and he shared with me that he prefers it when I am not completely shaved. He is not shaved either. Any thoughts on the pain and very light blood? I was tested for other STDs and they all came back negative. I dont want this to impact our sex life together but so far it is and we just cuddle a lot.

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WolfSpirit292

It's not very helpful, but my first OB ended Wends and I want to wait a full week before having intercourse. So the other night we fooled around with just "2nd and 3rd base." Afterward I had very little, light colored blood as well. Though I had no pain or discomfort. I havve had the before though, from what I assume is not being lubricated enough. I just read on this site the other day in one of the informational articles that you can use a water-based lubricant to help with that.

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Marie Elizabeth

Thanks for the tip. I bought some and will use it next time. I am still a little nervous though.

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john1

i have a question. my girlfriend unknowingly got herpes when she was with her ex. after being together for a while i have decided that i dont mind taking that on as well with her if it happens. we have unprotected sex and in four months i have not seen any thing to hint an outbreak on myself. what i want to know is........as long as she is not broken out what r the chances of me breaking out from performing oral sex on her without a dental damn or anything.

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RealisticGal

Herpetic Whitlow (Herpes of the hands)

About herpetic Whitlow (herpes of the hands), here's the facts, Ma'am:

The skin on our hands is some of the thickest and toughest on our bodies. Usually herpes viral particles move very easily through the delicate mucous membranes, but not so easily through tough (keratinized) skin. What that means is that it is difficult to get herpes on the hands, provided that skin is intact. HOWEVER, the presence of torn cuticles or open cuts/abrasions on the skin makes it much more likely.

Used to be that dentists and oral surgeons, working around sharp teeth and saliva while using sharp instruments, were the most likely to get herpetic Whitlow. Then, when everyone in the medical community started wearing protective gloves, their risk went way down.

Kids who have oral HSV1 and suck their thumbs and fingers are also at higher risk, along with anyone who bites their nails/cuticles.

So yes, the bottom line is that the original poster's boyfriend, who works with his hands, is at higher risk for contracting herpes there, specifically because of the constant damage to his skin there.

http://SpecialUser1234.com/herpes/herpetic-whitlow.html

http://www.skinsight.com/adult/herpeticWhitlow.htm

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