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what do i do now

what do i do now

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what do i do now

I am 52 and have herpes from my ex bf who is in love with someone else. I feel so lost and alone. I'm not angry with him I too got it from his cold sore. I know worring about it won't help but dang I also don't want to be alone for the rest of my life and how would you even begin to tell someone.

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JBnATL

Welcome to the 'club'. So do you have genital hsv1? If so, you are fortunate. HSV1 does not like to be genital and for the most part it does not cause as many problems. And the chances of passing it on through intercourse are so low that some doctors tell their patients they don't have to disclose their condition.

Where in TX do you live? There are many support groups there. The one here in Atlanta really helped me out. On the list of links to the right click on, "Herpes Support Groups" to see if there is one near you.

Don't let this limit who you date. I have dated many women and have never had a problem. I have given the 'talk' and have never been turned down. I start out by simply asking them if they have ever had a cold sore. No one thinks badly about cold sores, then I tell them I get cold sores but not on my face. I also ask if they know what causes cold sores and tell them if they do not.

If you want to start out by looking for other Herpsters you can check out the h dating sites; mpwh.net and positivesingles.com are two of the more popular ones.

Come to the Chat Room, there you will find many nice fellow Herpsters who can offer you their advice.

Good luck!

JB

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what do i do now

Thank you JB. I am still in shock and disappointed. What chat room?

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      Rejection will be there during your whole life. But not because of herpes, also because of how you are, at work, at your private life. It's just a part of life! Just have in mind that if people reject you because of stupid little things like herpes, they are not even worth continuing as a part of your life.  I think the best way of fighting the stigma is to be 100% convinced that there is NO NEED to feel ashamed, bad, disgusting because of herpes. I one day understood some very important thing: I did NOTHING differently than my friends who don't have herpes. I had sex (they did), sometimes with protection (they did), sometimes without (they did). I had ONS (they did), I had long term relationships (they did), I received wonderful and less wonderful oral sex, haha (they did). The only difference is that I got genital herpes from someone who didn't even know. So why exactly should I feel disgusting or bad?  And also: Know the facts. That is the safest way to destroy stigma in my opinion. If someone tells you: "Yuck! Herpes is disgusting!" you can answer: "I don't think that 80 % of the world population are disgusting because they have a virus in their bodies."  I also recommend this video from "Laureen". She has really great videos about herpes!       
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