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what do i do now

what do i do now

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what do i do now

I am 52 and have herpes from my ex bf who is in love with someone else. I feel so lost and alone. I'm not angry with him I too got it from his cold sore. I know worring about it won't help but dang I also don't want to be alone for the rest of my life and how would you even begin to tell someone.

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JBnATL

Welcome to the 'club'. So do you have genital hsv1? If so, you are fortunate. HSV1 does not like to be genital and for the most part it does not cause as many problems. And the chances of passing it on through intercourse are so low that some doctors tell their patients they don't have to disclose their condition.

Where in TX do you live? There are many support groups there. The one here in Atlanta really helped me out. On the list of links to the right click on, "Herpes Support Groups" to see if there is one near you.

Don't let this limit who you date. I have dated many women and have never had a problem. I have given the 'talk' and have never been turned down. I start out by simply asking them if they have ever had a cold sore. No one thinks badly about cold sores, then I tell them I get cold sores but not on my face. I also ask if they know what causes cold sores and tell them if they do not.

If you want to start out by looking for other Herpsters you can check out the h dating sites; mpwh.net and positivesingles.com are two of the more popular ones.

Come to the Chat Room, there you will find many nice fellow Herpsters who can offer you their advice.

Good luck!

JB

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what do i do now

Thank you JB. I am still in shock and disappointed. What chat room?

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    • Ashleerae
      Yeah whoops, I didn't see you wrote HSV-1 until later haha. I definitely see your point. 
      Just some random thoughts on the subject that I've been thinking about similar to your situation, even if they are a little different. I've been in a workplace where a girl was the herpes girl so I totally get that. Not the brand you want. Yeah it is so common. Somebody else in the room probably has it, like you said. It feels like its so unnatural and isolated when diagnosed because nobody talks about it, but its so freaking common. Maybe people are more open about HSV1, but maybe not.  Who knows if the rest of the world will catch up. It's nice to not care what the rest of the world has to say sometimes. That would be tough at 18-22 having everyone you know find out. I assume my own hometown will find out one day from someone who knows; that was one of my other biggest fears about this too, but it's fading. I guess I better start working on my comeback game so it's in the holster when I need it Have a good night, good thread Hairpees.  
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Runride and welcome to the website, I hope there is some thoughts to assist in your thinking. Wow, where do live? Sounds a bit like 'Deliverance' country or something out of a David Lynch movie. I'm very sorry about that. I have three options for your consideration. They are not in order of any particular preference. 1. Ignore it. Go about your life as per normal. You are the actor on your own stage and the other players will do what they do. Do as you wish to do with your life and other people will buy into that, or they're not welcome on your journey. Herpes plays the role it always has for you. You inform partners in advance of sex. 2. Take a stand to be open about your status. Requires a bit more bravery to put yourself out there for little short term reward certainly. "Yes I have herpes like most of us do orally or genitally. What do you feel the issues surrounding this are? What ought to be different in our lives and the way we live them as a result?" 3. Move to a new environment to give yourself a better chance of living life under option 1 or even option 2 above.
    • Broken Butterfly
      For sure, why bother if it’s pointless and costly but I get what you mean.  
    • Broken Butterfly
      I said I considered it but not that I was going to sue- I have no idea what my options are here.  
    • Hairpees
      I’m definitely not saying you need to file a lawsuit, you’ll read on here most people don’t have success. I’ve mentioned it because hes not responding to you so maybe that will wake him up.
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