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firefox09

i just told the guy i'm dating i have hsv

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firefox09

I went through a pretty bad break up this past December. The guy I was with didn't know he had HSV-1, and at the very beginning of our relationship I ended up contracting genital HSV-1 from him through oral sex. It was really hard to accept at first but we worked through it and went on to date for another 3 and a half years. We broke up for reasons unrelated to herpes.

About a month ago I started seeing this new guy, who is absolutely amazing. I really like him a lot, but I've been holding back taking things to the next level with him because of my STD. We have been getting pretty close rather quickly and I definitely think there is potential for a long term relationship. After a lot of thinking and stressing out I finally got the nerve to tell this guy I have herpes. He was very calm about it and really appreciated the fact that I told him before we had sex. He told me he really likes me and is going to try to work through this, but just needs time to wrap his head around it. I told him I completely understand how hard this must be for him to grasp, and if this is something he realizes he can't accept then I won't think any less of him.

I can't think about anything else since I broke the news to him. I really like this guy and I'm pretty optimistic about the way things are going, but I can't help but worry that after a few days of him googling "herpes" and considering the risks that he'll eventually decide it's something he just can't accept. I guess I'm just looking for someone out there who can relate to my situation. This is the first time I've had to tell anyone about my STD and it has been an extremely difficult thing to go through.

Thanks in advance for your support.

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Amazing

i understand. I remember telling the guy about it. He was fine with it at first, but I could tell it was bothering him. I was petrified to tell him, so I eventually. He just decided that we be better off friends. From time to time I hear from him. He did a lot of research, but I can't blame him for not wanting to catch it. I guess it is hard for people to accept it, but just give him some space and time to think about it.

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jesty

I too understand what you're going through. It's so hard to get the courage to tell someone for fear of how they'll react. It's really not that bad of a virus to have, expect for when it comes to having the talk with a partner.

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Tiny

Firefox...it may not help...but you do know that 80% of people are HSV 1 positive. It is extremely common and most people don't even get symptoms.

Right now...as a man he probably needs cave time...and you need to give that too him.

But if you have the opportunity it might be worth suggesting that rather than give up on the relationship he go and have a blood test...if he has HSV1 antibodies (and there is a strong chance he will) then realistically he is at practically no risk of contracting it elsewhere. You can also discuss the option of suppressive medication...that takes a less than 4% per annum risk (with gHSV 1) to a 1-2% per annum risk...

Stay positive...good luck.

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firefox09

Thanks so much for all of your advice. I really appreciate it. Since my first post I've hung out with this guy several times, and we've talked a little bit more about it. I can tell he is still nervous about possibly catching it, which I can't blame him for. I guess I just have to wait and see what happens. I really do like him so I'm hoping for the best.

Thanks again!

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