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marycandice

When is a good time to tell him?

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marycandice

I met a guy recently & we've been talking all night every night & flirting like crazy. I like him so far, but it's new & we haven't even been open about having feelings for each other. Which is why I decided I should figure out how to handle this now instead of waiting until it's too late. When is a good time to tell a guy that you have herpes? I'm 17 years old & it's my own fault that I have it, & I've accepted it. I don't want to tell a guy too early on & scare him off.. but I don't want to wait too long either. Please help): When is a good time to bring it up, how should I bring it up, & what should I say if I get rejected?): I'm scared & confused..

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Fairy dust

Hi marycandice, welcome to this lovely friendly site,

I know I am ancient compared to you (46!) but guys are the same now as they were when I was 19 and contracted H from my bf. I found the best way was to wait until I knew the guy was really into me emotionally as well as physically (rules out casual sex unfortunatley!!)

I would then ask if they knew about cold sores and then explain that I had the same virus but on my bits sometimes. I was never rejected but sometimes it took them a few days to think about and get their head around the subject which is fair enough.

I won't pretend it has always been easy and it has reduced me to tears at times but it is always best to be honest even though it means you can't be so spontaneous and jump into bed when the urge takes you!!

If you do get rejected I know it will hurt but just remember to hold your head high - you have been honest and that takes strength of character. If the guy runs away then he was not worth your attention and its better to find out now than way down the line.

I have been with my current partner for 14 years and we have 2 lovely kids so life can still be great. My partner has not contracted H as far as we know or if he has he has no symptoms.

All the best x

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