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I want to crawl into a dark hole.

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I just found out that I probably have herpes. (not sure which one as I am still awaiting test results). I had a rash on my genitals and now have irritation in my eyes and nose. I have been married for almost 15 years to the same person. He is also the only person I have every had sex with. We were high school sweethearts. We are happily married with 3 kids and have always had a great sex life. There has been no reason to stray. I am so confused...why and how could this have happened? Am I going to pass this to my kids through casual contact like kissing them goodnight? Do I have to be extra concerned about my eyes/nose and transmitting it to them? I would die if that every happened. I feel like I just want to crawl into a hole and die. I just want to stay in bed and cry but I don't want to cry because I am afraid I will transmit it with my tears. I am washing sheets and towels everyday and washing my hands so much they hurt. I have to take care of my kids but I am afraid to touch them or let them touch me. I feel bad because they just want to be with their mom and I am distancing myself from them. Am I being stupid when I believe that my husband hasn't cheated on me? He is being very supportive and is acting like it is not a big deal. He thinks I am over-reacting and says it doesn't change anything for him. He expects that he will get it to and is okay with that. Any advice would be SO appreciated. I don't know where to turn.

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Take a Breath

Hi Brown,

HSV is transmitted via skin-to-skin contact, so the only reason to withdraw from your children would be your emotioanl state. On that note the emotional aspect of this diagnosis is often as upsetting or more so than the actual condition itself. Hopefully, your tests will return negative.

I too was monogamous with my x/giver; unfortunately, he was not. If you want to read my story you can go to my profile and look at my post under betrayed in the left column of screen.

After being on this site for a while I have observed from others stories that many people who are HSV positive are in denial. By this I mean, either they have an ob and don't seek medical attention because then in their mind they have deniability, or they are diagnosed and choose not to disclose to their sexual partners. The first scenerio is just ignorant, and the second is just plain cowardly meaness.

I think that time will tell in your situation, and I hope it will be what you need to hear. I'm hoping for the best outcome for your situation, and please keep in touch. We are here for you if you need us. Chat is sometimes very helpful, but feel free to PM me with any other questions.


Inquiring1 ;)

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