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troubledinOH

I'm an emotional wreck!!!

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troubledinOH

I contracted HSV-2 about 22 years ago from my now ex-wife. I have recently met a fantastic girl. We love each other and can't stand to be apart. She was just diagnosed with breast cancer and recently divorced from an abusive husband. She's now going through chemo treatments and has been really rough on her. How do I break this news to her. She already has so many personal hurdles of her own to conquer, she doesn't deserve another. Typing this is killing me inside. I can't sleep and the problem is that we both know deep down inside we are meant to be. I don't know how to break the news to her, or even know if I'm strong enought to. She means so much to me and doesn't deserve this.

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TMC

Maybe this will seem quite insignificant compared to her problems? I don't mean that in an offensive way or anything but she has something that can be life threatening and we don't. Theres a good chance she would see it that way too do you not think? I just think its bound to not be as bad as you think. You're there supporting her and being great by her, so why would a skin virus change that :)

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troubledinOH

TMC, Thank you. She told me yesterday that she was afraid to tell me about her cancer because she thought I would run. There is more to my character than that and I told her so. I couldn't leaver her in her time of need. It just scares to to death to lose the one person i am totally head over heals for.

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inquiring1

Just One More Thing

Hi OH,

HSV is just one more thing she needs to know about you. I'm confused? Have you already been intimate with this woman? Not any of my business, but that is the only reason I can think of that she might take exception to if you are telling her after the fact.

I am certain that if she cares for you as much as you seem to care for her it will not be an issue. I would suggest that her immune system is going to be very delicate if it exsists at all during chemo, so she will probably be most at risk for contrating HSV then.

Hope all goes well,

Inquiring1

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troubledinOH

Inquiring1, Thank you for responding. I have not been intimate with her nor would I ever do that to someone before I explained my situation. The part that scares me the most is the fact she is going through chemo and would she want to put herself at risk being with someone like me. Rest assured, I am going to tell her but I'm terrified of the results.

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TMC

Good luck telling her. I'm sure she knows you would never leave her during this difficult time and appreciates it a lot, and so would hopefully treat you in the same way. Also, i'm guessing sex is not the first thing on her mind right now either if shes unwell so 'putting herself at risk' as you say would probably not be either. Best of luck, hope it goes well and i'm sure it will you sound like a great guy :)

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troubledinOH

TMC, Thank you. I don't think sex is right now, she says she needs to concentrate on her and getting well and I can totally understand that. I wouldn't do anything before I told her anyways. And thank you for the compliment, I try, but sometimes it's hard. Take care and you don't sound so bad yourself :-)

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Sabrina32

i wish you guys the best of luck i really hope it works out for you

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troubledinOH

Thank you all for your support. I have had maybe 9 hours of sleep over the past 3 days, that's how much it's hurting me. I'm away on a trip and I want to pick up the phone and tell her, but I'm not sure that's the right way to do it. Part of me wants to just to get it over with. I'm so confused!!!!

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Doc Holiday

22 years with HSV??????? Do you even get outbreaks anymore????????? Your body should have cured itself from this virus, well or at least build up a strong enough immunity to it to where it just lays dormant for the rest of your life.

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troubledinOH

I do occassionally, maybe 1-2 a year. I haven't taken any kind of medication for this, maybe that's still why I get them.

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  • Posts

    • StayingUpbeat
      First, that your doctor simply tried non-generic valacyclovir instead of referring you to a dermatologist is surprising.  If you are taking daily Valacyclovir, and still have frequent visible lesions, a competent dermatologist would prescribe something called Foscarnet.  It is unfortunately an injection and (I believe) it must be administered weekly at an injection center or hospital.  However, the combination of weekly foscarnet and daily valacyclovir would almost certainly eliminate your visible outbreaks.  It's important to note that no current drug combination is known to totally eliminate HSV shedding.  You would need to have routine blood monitoring on this combination as Foscarnet has some potential side effects. Next, there are members on this site who have been able to obtain a drug called Amenalief from Japan.  It's a recently approved (in Japan) member of a class of HSV drugs called Helicase Primase Inhibitors (HPI): https://www.mimaki-family-japan.com/item/detail?item_prefix=TF&item_code=705711&item_branch=001 It is bio-similar to a drug called Pritelivir which is currently in clinical trials in the US for HSV in the immuno-compromised (i.e. organ transplants, HIV).  A member in this thread talks specifically about his experience taking 100mg/day to help with outbreaks.  It unfortunately sounds very expensive to take suppressively.  Finally, there was recently a small successful clinical trial on the use of topical squaric acid dibutylester (SADBE) for the control of HSV.  If your doctor is comfortable trying alternate therapies to control your outbreaks topical SADBE is an FDA approved cream that you could discuss trying.  My recommendation would be to bring this paper discussing the trial to your next doctor's visit.  It would be an off-label use but the cream is relatively benign.  It's most frequent use is clearing-up cutaneous warts on children. As always none of this discussion constitutes medical advice (I am simply a middle-aged engineer not a doctor) and you should always follow the direction of your doctor or medical professional over advise found on the internet.  One of these three options may however improve your situation.  Unless there is something other than HSV going on.
    • Hellothere123
      I really don’t feel like I can keep going on with this, it’s always in the back of my head and I feel like I’m not worthy of love anymore and I just want to end it all 
    • honkschonks
      @Anon222 I told the women I have slept with most recently. She’s been a regular partner who has had zero symptoms. She’s going to get tested. She’s the most level headed person I know and a good friend. One doctor told me for legal reasons to tell everyone in the past year that I have it. Another doctor said that’s unrealistic and pointless. I have no idea when it started as I had no major undoubtable outbreak, so going back a year may be too far, it may not be far enough. I’m not sure what to do. It has irritated me how casual doctors are about this. It won’t kill you but The emotional effect of knowing you have it or thinking you may have it seems to be more damaging than having it. People on here talking about suicide. I guess that’s why they don’t test for it, or it just got out of hand and there’s no going back. Strangely I haven’t been that stressed about it. Luckily I’ve been very busy working so I haven’t had time worry about it. Thanks @NY12345 for your thoughts.
    • Runride
      I've heard of STD dating sites but have never looked into one. Are they real? And does anyone have any experience with them?  If someone does I would really like to hear some details.  They sound kind of scary, but it seems it could also be a relief to know I would be less likely to be judged for this condition.
    • IcantThinkofaName
      I've also considered this option..and its still looking like a good idea. so... Did you try any other Av's like famvir or privetir? I think there are some others too...  Up the vitamin C, check your vit D levels via bloodwork... Are you stressed out or have a stressful lifestyle ( aside from having HSV, which alone is a stressor)? There are no other health issues going on ? How hard are your workouts? The last few Obs I had were after very intense resistance/weight workouts, and I was completely exhausted after...combined with a night of bad or little sleep. Tried L- glutamine supplementation? Lithium orotate ( its a supplement too) has been known to supress the virus/replication too. I have also read it could mutate it...not sure how accurate that is, or if there was a study that proved that..maybe google it. I took The lithium one time and it was an abbreviated/shorter Outbreak than others...but I was also taking alot of vit C, or it could have happened for another reason...I'll never know for sure. but...mediating for 12 hours a day might help too... (seriously) but just don't meditate on HSV. Or maybe in another year your body will get a better hold on the virus and can cope better. it is depressing, I can relate.  My Obs have finally  lessened after 1 yr and 3 months. I still have almost daily sensations, tingling though..I'm probably contagious AF. Sex isn't really on the radar anymore. so No reason to take the AVs as they cause some side effects for me. Time to join that monastery. There are more important things in life than sex, right?  (thats what some people are telling me and I want to punch them. I really liked/enjoyed sex) Hang in there. I was told after the 6 yr mark, HSV becomes a non issue in your body. ( thats what one of my Drs told me, so  not sure how accurate that is either, but I guess it gives me 4.5 years of hope) let me know if any of this helps or you find something that does.I wish you the best.  
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