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Thisismylifenow

This is my life now..

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Thisismylifenow

I was diagnosed with Herpes yesterday. We are awaiting test results now to see if I am dealing with HSV 1 or HSV 2.

I am 28 years old, I have a son; he's going to be 5 this summer. I am engaged to a wonderful man. A wonderful man who is now broken because of this diagnosis..

We have been together for almost 8 years. I knew when we first started a physical relationship that he was a carrier of the Herpes virus. When he gets stressed out, he has outbreaks of cold sores, always at the corners of his mouth. He can always feel when he is about to have an OB and that is when he physically stays away from me; No sips out of his coffees, no kissing, he abstains from sex with me as well most of the time because he enjoys kissing me and what not... We are always very safe about the issue. At least, we thought we were...

I pretty much knew what I was dealing with walking into the doctor's office. I had gone through a night of hell. I had flu like symptoms, bad chills, fever, a painful swollen gland in my groin, headache and open sores on my lady parts. Type all that into Google and everything pops up Herpes. Everything would have been too damn coincidental to NOT be Herpes.

Getting home from the doctor's office, I had to break the news to my fiance. He was in disbelief; Angry at himself, confused at how this could have happened. He called himself a monster and an asshole. He is so very ashamed of himself for what has happened to me. He asked me if I still loved him and if I still wanted to marry him. I told him that I love him and that I can't wait to marry him, which is completely true...

He is so worried now about whether he has passed it on to our son somehow.

He has said sorry to me so many times in the last few hours and he can't look at me in the eyes without having tears in his own. He is a completely broken man.

I can't say that I even needed much comforting last night because I don't think anything really sank in for me...until this morning that is.

I am in a ridiculous amount of discomfort. I am so swollen down there, and I have more blisters today.. It hurts when I pee and to add insult to injury, I have started my period today. Double freakin' whammy. I have a doctor's appointment in a couple of hours as well, so I think I will be asking him about some medication to deal with the fact that I might sink into a hole filled with sleepless nights and self loathing.. :(

I took the day off of work, to be by myself. I can cry as loud as I need to, I can turn on my PS3 and shoot people in the face, I can be uncomfortable without having to worry about making my fiance feel bad..

I have a feeling that I will be lurking here a lot.. I need a strong support system for ME, because I AM the strong support system in my family. Something needs to keep me together here because the more I read, the more I want to crawl into that hole I was talking about.. All the stuff I have read about what can happen if we decide to have another baby, the complications that could arise... It scares me. Very much so..

So, I have stopped reading and I have typed this new thread.. After this, I dunno, I might eat a bowl of cereal, take yet another bath, cry... Pretty soon my family will be home and I will no longer have solitude. That is probably when I will return to lurk on this forum. :cool:

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Any suggestions to help cope with pain, any comments or advice, hell even a joke would be good. It is very hard to believe that I have joined a Herpes support forum, but I will get used to it..

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ScaryJimmy

It sounds like you almost certainly have HSV-1. You and your fiancee will not be able to pass it back and forth to each other. You will probably have few (if any) further outbreaks. If you were to somehow break up with your fiancee, 70% of your potential partners would already have built up immunity to contracting HSV-1 from you.

No doubt, birth complications from HSV are very serious. But, they usually only happen when the virus is contracted during the pregnancy. Millions and millions of women with HSV have babies without any problems.

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Thisismylifenow

Thanks for replying Jimmy. For the most part, I am aware of all the stats and facts and symptoms, blah blah blah... I have done so much reading in the last couple of days.

Now I will just have to be patient and see how my body reacts to this virus. My doctor isn't too keen on suppressive therapy but he is going to be prescribing me some Valtrex to keep at home just in case I feel another OB coming on after this one goes away... I have Famvir right now that was prescribed by the evening clinic doctor.

I am still trying to comfort my fiance, he is still very upset over this. This will take a long time, I think, for him to come to grips with this. I can see hurt in his eyes when he looks at me and it breaks my heart. All I can say is that I know he is sorry, and that he didn't DO anything to me on purpose. I can't exactly put a positive spin on Herpes... I mean, I am the one who has to really DEAL with this virus, but he has to watch me, in pain and uncomfortable, and he knows that it was caused by him. I can't imagine what that feels like..

If anyone is in the same situation, I could use some advice. I am a strong woman, I can handle anything that life will throw at me, that is just my personality. I always look at the glass as half full.

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regret

i would try acyclivor its way cheaper than valtrex and works just as good.. once you learn to live with this virus and get to know how your body reacts to it it will become easier (mentally) for you to deal with.. the first year is the toughest.. also go to walmart and buy lysine i take 1000mg a day that really helps. the first 6 mo you may feel like you are having symptoms daily, with tingling,itchiness,spasms etc... but they usually go away after 6 mo .

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Thisismylifenow

Thank you for the post, regret. I will look more into Lysine.

Although, a problem with using lysine supplements to manage herpes is the possible negative side effects associated with regular high doses of lysine. Gastrointestinal distress and renal impairment can both result from excessive lysine intake.

I might only consider taking Lysine if I feel that I am about to have an OB.

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package deal

ok tell your bf soon to be hubby he is not a monster. he did not hid his herpies status from you . He told you up front and you choose to take the chance. he did right. you both tried to avoid it but it just did not work out.

Tell him no show him you still care about him.

as for suppressent meds if that doc will not give it to you find another doc who will. Dont worry, you be able to have kids without passing it on to them etc.

the first ob if yu dont know already from your reeading is usually the worst. and you may not ever haver another ob.

tell your bf tp join the group maybe we can help him.

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Thisismylifenow

Ok, so everything is almost cleared up, I am just waiting for the redness to go away. I have no itching, no more scabs... Almost done with this OB! It wasn't so tough. pffff..

So, now how long do we wait to be intimate again? This is killing me. Once the redness is gone, are we good to go? He says we should wait for two weeks after it clears up, just to be safe..

Need some good info here...

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milagro

Do you know if it's type 1 or 2 now? I didn't realize rhe symptoms were the same with the fever and all.

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Thisismylifenow

No, not yet. She had to send it out to get tested, so it will be at least 3 weeks. So, three weeks from my original post, which was on the 9th, I will know if I have type 1 or 2.. Although, she said it could take up to 6 weeks. :madd:

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Thisismylifenow

Ok, so I just got the call from the doctor today, I am officially dealing with HSV-1. Can I pass this back to my fiance, to his genitals? I got it from him, from the cold sores.. Is it possible for us to pass it back and forth now?

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  • The Hive is Thriving!

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