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Kitty123

Slowly seeping into having a bad day....

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Kitty123

I was doing fine earlier today.

I come on here to read others stories.

It helps me get through with more knowledge and also to try and help others.

But now I can feel the tears welling up inside.

Tears of guilt, that my fiancee was so 'willing' to catch this virus from me. And now he has it.

Why would ANYONE want this?

OMG. I am so bawling my eyes silently at my desk.

Why did I have to go and make that STUPID STUPID MISTAKE!?!?!?

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WarriorKing

I can only say look at today. What can you do today, even little things, to positively affect your life.

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tryingtobehappy

I hope that you aren't beating yourself up too bad. Your fiance must love you very much. If you plan to be with someone for life, what does a little virus like this one matter in the end? That's what my husband told me.

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Kitty123

I know. I was doing so well, until my giver decided to show up in places that I frequent. I hadn't seen him for sooooooooooo long (in passing) and then I see him at the train station yesterday WAITING FOR THE TRAIN right where I stand!!! But - he NEVER EVER DOES THAT!!!! He usually waits WAAAAAAAAAaaay at the other end.

I know I have no right to tell him where to stand, but it struck a cord in me.

I was fine throughout the day, then my leg started to hurt, which made me feel bitter towards my giver, and I just broke down. Had I not seen him yesterday....I would've been ok about it!

That horrible S.O.B will get his someday. I truly believe it. I know I have really improved on my obsessive thinking of how horrible he is, but yesterday was just a crap day. And I'm allowed to have one once and awhile.

But today is a better day.

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tryingtobehappy

I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to have to run into that guy, especially now with what is going on with your fiance. It IS hard not to be bitter. It's okay to be angry, and you are allowed to have a bad day. Some days will completely suck, but some days will be great. We just have to go with it, I guess. I'm sending good thoughts your way.

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