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AF Vet

4 Years Later, what I've learned....

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AF Vet

I recieved the lovely gift that keeps on giving 4 years ago from my (now) ex bf. He was nice enough to give it to me with out letting me know he had it. He even let me think that my cheating ex husband gave it to me... he finally grew the testicular fortitude to tell me I'd gotten it from him a year after I had my first horrific outbreak. I had been in the middle of driving across country from Wa to Ct, moving with my children, and had to call him crying to tell him to get checked... only to find out a year later that he gave it to me.

Yep... nice guy....

so... here I am, one month shy of 4 years and what have I found out about myself? I've found out that I'm alot stronger then I thought I was. I'm a single parent of three beautiful children... and I thought that was strong... but this... I got through it. I didn't put my ex up on blast on fb, or myspace or anything. I broke up with him soon after his disclosure... mostly because of other things that effected our long distance relationship. I decided I was better then that.... I also decided that I could never take from anybody the choice that was taken from me... I couldn't live with the guilt I felt. I've been with two people since then, and I've told both. The first guy decided in the end that this wasn't something he wanted to tangle with. The second guy has been my bf for two n a half years, almost three... he's in the Army and deployed, he's the love of my life, and as far as we know he's H free. We've talked about getting married, having a child. Nothing permanent will happen until he returns... but life is great for me. I'm searching for a new job that will bring me closer, geographically, to where my bf lives again so we can have more time together, and because I'm loosing my job in the fall.

so, what have I learned? I've become alot more descriminate about those I take to my bed. Most of the guys who did turn me down because I have H were looking for a quick lay and were going to let me go anyway... I want something more lasting then that... I've also discovered a courage I didn't know I had. My bf gained so much respect for me for having the courage to tell him. I've also learned that I don't need to let this thing define me. I am still the same person I was before I found out I had HSV2. Hell in the course of researching, I realized I had HSV1 as well... I've been getting 'cold sores' since I was a child, and never really realized what they were.

So anyway... here I am. I'm in a wonderful relationship with a wonderful man. My life is the same as it was, aside from him, as it was before I got HSV2 and discovered that I had HSV1. I'm more eductated, and able to pass that knowledge onto my children so they can protect themselves...

But the number one thing I've learned? I'm not alone. By far, I'm not alone. There are literally millions of people in this country alone who have this. Sure, some don't even realize they have it, but I'm not alone. I've shared so much since I found this site, almost a year ago. I've helped many, just by being a shoulder.... I hope I can help many more....

Good luck to y'all.

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