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skkmay13

Told him last night (first ever "talk" with a guy since diagnosed)

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skkmay13

I came on here a few days ago asking for some advice. Recently I started seeing someone and we decided to take things to a new level. He asked me if I was clean before we had sex (we did use a condom) and I told him I was (but really, I'm not). I felt bad for not telling him the truth right away so I decided to tell him last night.

Things started to get heated and I had to stop before going any further. He knew something was wrong and said he thought he knew what it was. I kept saying, "no, you have no idea." Then he asked, "does it have something to do with the reason why we need to use a condom?" And I shook my head yes (my face in my hands, so embarrassed).

He said "whatever it is, just tell me, you know you can tell me anything, how much shit have I told you, you don't have to worry or hold back, if you have something like genital herpes it's cool, we can work around it, things happen." I was SO relieved. I explained to him more about it and he asked me a few questions about what we need to do to work around it. He said he was really happy that I told him and was totally cool with it. I felt really embarrassed but he kept reassuring me that it was fine and that I just needed to relax.. and that I'm so beautiful he's willing to take the risk (lol :D)

So there's my story. First guy I've told and even though I know it's still in the back of his head I'm just so happy that he's making me feel comfortable about it.

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JBnATL

Congratulations!

I have given the 'talk' many times and have never been turned down. I just casually ask them if they have ever had a cold sore. No one thinks cold sores are bad things. Then I tell them I get cold sores but not on my face. I ask them if they know what causes cold sores and tell them if they do not.

Did you tell this guy that it is harder for a guy to get it from a girl than vice versa? Have you read that if you take daily meds you reduce the risk by 50%? Here is a good article that talks about transmission rates. As you can see, it isn't that easy to catch this virus:

http://www.hsvblog.org/herpes-simplex-virus-hsv-101/

Come to the Chat Room, there you will find many nice fellow Herpsters who can offer you their support.

Good luck!

JB

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Stevie

I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story. I recently found out I have it as well and have been struggling with this aspect of it and this gives me hope that I won't be alone and people can actually accept me!

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ruggy
Congratulations!

Did you tell this guy that it is harder for a guy to get it from a girl than vice versa? Have you read that if you take daily meds you reduce the risk by 50%? Here is a good article that talks about transmission rates. As you can see, it isn't that easy to catch this virus:

http://www.hsvblog.org/herpes-simplex-virus-hsv-101/

Yea, but did you know you could catch it without ANY sexual intercourse? No? Well, that is how I caught it. It was by accident, and I knew the risks. We were always safe with sex, however, I did not catch it through sex of any kind. I caught it from her when she got out of the shower and rubbing against my leg in a fun jesturely way. :(. A few days later, here comes the blister on the leg. No where else, just the leg outside the boxer region. Maybe an inch or so away. I fully intended of the possibility of getting it, but not this way. I guess, it is better that it is not in the genital region, but, I feel like what a fool. I should had been more careful in her rubbing my leg. I take full blame, but it is just...

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skkmay13

That's really interesting... I've never heard of that happening before. Did she have an actual outbreak going on when this happened? It just doesn't seem possible for it to spread that way based on the research I've done but who knows. Sorry to hear that happened to you.

I did tell the guy that the chances of spreading it are really low especially when taking precautions... I called my doctor the other day and spoke to a nurse about going on one a day medication but she said they only do that for women going through pregnancies (toward the end) and that they will only give me medication when I experience and actual outbreak with sores. I was hoping they would put me on one a day Valtrex because it would make me feel a lot more comfortable with my partner but I'm just glad he is accepting of it and it's already brought us closer.

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ruggy

We're not sure. Since she never had an outbreak. Could had been shedding. It is just very depressing that I got it this way. I am still in shock.

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