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xoxo2009

My experience sharing my secret with a potential partner.... (good!)

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xoxo2009

I have told 3 people that I have herpes. All 3 of them cared more about me than a stupid skin disease i contracted out of pure bad luck. They were all willing to work around it, and weren't worried about contracting it from me. They were very understanding and were happy with the fact that I was honest and up front about it.

The way i contracted herpes was through my boyfriend's (now ex boyfriend) cold sore.

None of the men I have had sex with contracted the virus.

I avoided sex during outbreaks... (i've only had 4 in 2 years) and had sex with and without condoms. (which was THEIR choices... i ALWAYS recommend the condom...)

And I just want to share how I even go about the conversation. It's something I struggled with for over a year. I've found this a more comfortable way to let someone in on a secret so scary to tell:

"so, i have something to tell you before things get too serious. It's really personal so you have to promise that you will take into consideration my feelings and not judge me. i have 'the technical term for a cold sore' " (i say 'the technical term for a cold sore' because 'herpes' is such and ugly word) and then i go into how i contracted it, how severe it is, and what i'm doing to prevent outbreaks. It also helps to know statistics and facts about the virus.

Again, I've found that being honest is the best policy. And if the person really cares about you, they're going to accept you the way you are without judging you for your stupid skin virus.

I am now with a really great guy, who adores me and herpes doesn't get in the way of that =]]

I hope that my story has helped in some way.

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brightside26

Thanks for sharing. I am newly single again and I'm apprehensive about jumping back out there into the dating world. Your story helps. :-)

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blondegirl

After never being rejected I just got rejected for the first time this week. Its nice to know it may not be like that again. It sucks so bad.

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laxlady

Thank you so much for this thread! I was diagnosed a month ago and i am 18 so i obviously am not married. It is good to hear that the men didnt freak out on you. Im so stressed out even thinking about the idea of telling someone. thanks so much

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BeautifulB

I am so glad you posted this! I am actually thinking about telling my potential guy tonight and didn't have the slightest clue on how to begin. I love that you call it the "technical term for a cold sore" I may steal that from you. Thanks again...hopefully mine is as understanding :)

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xoxo2009

I'm so happy this helped! Please steal my lines! They were SO hard to come up with! lol Having the talk about H. never got any less terrifying, but the little introductory sentences I wracked my brain for had become easier to recite each time. If you don't mind, I'd love to hear how your talk went! =)

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sexyface26
I'm so happy this helped! Please steal my lines! They were SO hard to come up with! lol Having the talk about H. never got any less terrifying, but the little introductory sentences I wracked my brain for had become easier to recite each time. If you don't mind, I'd love to hear how your talk went! =)[/quote

Yes I would like to know how the talk went too!!!

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