I don't know why you confidently cling so tightly to your narrow beliefs. As if common sense wasn't enough, here are some anecdotal incidences.
1- person on PS talks about how he's had oral HSV-1 for 10 years. One day, he had an outbreak, went to urinate, touched the sore then touched his penis, a genital outbreak then followed.
2- Girl needed some chap stick, and decided to use her sister's without asking. Sister happened to have o-hsv1 and the girl then contracted from the chap stick.
3- friend shared chap stick with another who has o-hsv1. Didn't cross either of their minds and she gets o-hsv1.
4- another friend was raped and got genital-HSV1 from just sex, no oral. (swab confirmed)
5-Members on this board and other groups have oral-HSV2 and get recurrent outbreaks. (all swab confirmed)
6-Member has HSV on her hand and face. When she has an outbreak on her face, her palm starts blistering.
These anecdotal stories are relevant, whether you believe them or not.
I apologize if you feel triggered by this. It's about being mindful with the decisions one makes. If people want to be bull-headed about their choices in life then the risks will follow. These aren't pie in the sky, outlandish stories. And the stigma is further enhanced with you labeling this as stigmatic.
It's also important to remember that 80% of people have oral herpes anyway and most don't care because its just cold sores. And if you have had it for a long time and not having outbreaks your risk of transmission would be lower. Regardless having herpes is not the worst thing in the world for some it actually is but that's really about how you let it affect you
Hey You Are Not Alone many people have this and by the sounds of it you dodged a bullet with your boyfriend or should I say ex. Just know that it takes a little time to feel ok about having herpes and if you have hsv1 it's not the worst one you can have on the genitals. Unfortunately relationships can be hard and breaking up someone hurts a lot but in time you will realise that it was meant to be.
I guess that's where Disclosure comes into it and if the guy doesn't want to use protection then that's his choice. So long as you do your best to protect someone else that's all you can do. My doctor gave me medication only for outbreaks but I take it daily because I'm seeing someone but when I go back to her I will ask for a new script for ongoing and it won't be a problem. I think the medical profession in different countries is quite different in terms of their knowledge and what they will do in terms of treatment.
No disrespect to doctors here but not all doctors are good doctors. I was not happy with my former gynecologist so I looked for a new one-- I had too many questions/concerns about herpes and she didn't seem knowledgeable. You can certainly do that and you don't have to question/argue with them either. I was told the same thing by my (former) gyn -- 6 OBs (actual blisters) before she gives me suppression meds. Eventually she gave in because I complained too much about frequent prodrome.