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smartgirl

Is this my punishment????

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smartgirl

I am a Christian. Although I don't attend church regularly (due to my work schedule), I do believe that I have a relationship with GOD. When I was in highschool, I joined this abstinence group. At that time i was a virgin and i took a vow in front of GOD and my family that I would save myself for marriage. As I moved on to college and away form my support system, I feel off track and started having sex. 5yrs later, here I am recently diagnosed with HSV-1 gentially. I feel like this is GOD's way of punishing me for breaking my vow to him. If i had never had sex, I wouldnt be going through this right now. This has opened my eyes and I know i should avoid having sex again until I am married. And thats truly what I want to do but its not easy. I feel like GOD allowed this to happen to me as a "wake-up call" to stop me from having sex before something serious happens to me like HIV/AIDS. Can anyone relate to how im feeling?????

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Hachi

Hey Smartgirl,

I suggest you check out this thread...

http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/messageforum/showthread.php?4561-Christians-with-herpes

Also, there is a "Special Topic" for Christians in this sector of the forums, just look above all the threads. There should be "All Faiths" and "Christian Circle"

Link to Christian Circle:

http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/messageforum/forumdisplay.php?71-Christian-Circle

Hope this helps! :hithere:

-Hachi

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MsLucy

I don't think that God is punishing you for breaking your vow. He knows how imperfect we are... after all, he made us, didn't he?

We all have free-will to make our own decisions, and to accept the consequences of those choices that we make. Consequence and punishment are not the same things. We learn from consequence, not from punishment. It's from making mistakes and accepting the consequences that we become better people. And after all, isn't that what every Christian strives for... to please God by becoming a better person... and a better Christian? No, he's not punishing you. If he's involved at all in you getting herpes, he's teaching you.

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smartgirl

Thanks MsLucy. I never thought of it that way.

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itsbeentoolong

Like Ms. Lucy said, we have free will. At times that will and our imperfect flesh will cause us to make wrong choices. As a result, we reap what we sow.

There are times I just KNEW I was being punished for something. However, I had to realize that those things were a result of decisions I made. Moreover, I believe it's in James 1:13 where it says, "when under trial, do not say I am being tried by God. For with evil things God cannot be tried nor does he try anyone himself." (something like that). It also reminds us that each one is enticed and drawn out by his own desires and in turn those desires lead to ruin. It happens to all of us.

As far as Him allowing it to happen, I think that's where people get it confused and then start attributing things to God. "Allowing" something to happen is completely different from "causing" it. Compare it to training a small child. No matter how many times you tell him not to touch the hot radiator, his little inquisitive deliberate mind wants to do it. You keep intervening because you know it's going to hurt him. So one day as he reach for the radiator, you don't intervene, maybe he need to feel a little discomfort so that he won't go near it again. He touch it and immediately he get the point. No burns, no damage, but it was unpleasant. As a parent it hurts you to see him hurt, but he had to learn for himself. Although you ALLOWED him to touch the radiator, you didn't CAUSE it.

(the hot radiator is a but muchicon13.png, but my creativity is smothered right now)

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smartgirl

Thank you for you incite itsbeentoolong. I believe that GOD is just trying to get me to wake-up a realize what I was doing and HE has definitely done that...and I thank HIM.

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younggirl

I am so glad there is someone else out there that feels the same way.. I grew up since I was a little kid being taught that you NEED to wait until marriage. I made my vow in 8th grade and I really planned on waiting till marriage. When I was 17 I got it taken away from me and things just went downhill from there.. My senior year of high school I started dating someone I REALLY cared about. We had sex early into the relationship and I loved it. It's like one of those things that since you're being exposed at a "late" age you kinda go crazy with it.. Well one night I made a horrid mistake and cheated on the guy I loved with a guy I Liked for all four years of high school. I not only contracted it that night but also gave it to my bf would made me feel infinitely worse that there are no words for it. I felt punished by God.. not only for having a sexual relationship when I knew it was wrong, but also for cheating on someone, which I told myself I'd NEVER do. I just realized I've never really told anyone this before... but believe me I struggle with it every time I think about my condition. I go all the way back to my 17th birthday. What if that never happened? Would I still be a virgin? Or maybe my boyfriend would have been the first person I gave it up to, therefore I never would've contracted it.. it's useless to think of what ifs, though. I mean, it happened, it's over, and it's important to move on. But I definitely feel like it was the wrath of God because although I've been a born again Christian since I was 4, I started straying away from my faith a LOT near the end of high school, so it makes perfect sense why he let's horrific things happen. Just wanted to share my story with you and let you know that you are not alone here.

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smartgirl

Thank you younggirl. It's good to know I'm not alone. Just wondering have you made the decision to abstain or are you still sexually active? I'm really battling with this. I know that I should not be having pre-marital sex but it's not always that easy when you face temptation. Part of me wants to abstain but the other part doesn't. You would think that after contracting "H" I would have "learned my lesson". Dont know what to do????

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lifesstillgood

Could you imagine if everyone that got a terminal illness thought that they got ill as some sort of punishment? What could be worse then being told that your life was about to end.

I am not a religious person but am a very spiritual one. I believe everything in life happens for a reason. There are no what if's. Even when something horrible happens there is a lesson to be learned from it. Some people realize that lesson right away and others never realize it. I call these people new souls. So just remember there are no punishments only lessons learned.

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itsbeentoolong
I started straying away from my faith a LOT near the end of high school, so it makes perfect sense why he let's horrific things happen

Hi Youngirl,

If we are to subsribe to that ideology, then we must also believe that God is unfair and unjust. I have never been promiscuous and I'm infected. In addition, although imperfect, I'm a good person or at least try to be. There are lots of people who are promiscous and have done things FAR worse than I have; yet, they are disease free and I don't see anything happening to them.

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3yearsnow

Do you think that babies born blind because of their mother's herpes are also being punished? If yes, then it doesn't make sense that god punishes innocent people. If no, then it shoes you can getherpes without it being a punishment.

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oliveoil

Hi there,

God is not punishing you, or anybody else, for anything. Herpes is not a comment on your morality, it is a virus that does not discriminate between good, bad, promiscuous, or virgin like. Sinners, saints, prostitutes and nuns, the virus does not discriminate, and either should you, especially against yourself. Plenty of people catch the herpes virus the first time they have sex, sometimes on their wedding night. Sadly, children catch herpes as a result of being sexually assaulted. Plenty of people practice only safe sex, have very few sexual partners, and still get it. Some people even catch it as a result of an unfaithful partner, and this is surely not a comment on their morality.

You caught it because you where exposed to it. It's as simple as that.

So maybe with hindsight you could say "I wish I didn't do this, or that", but hindsight is just that, and we all make better choices with hindsight!

God didn't do this to you, or anyone else. Just as He didn't give herpes to my friend who caught it at age three from an uncle.

If you believe in God then believe He is kind and loving, and will love, help and support you through this.

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IrishRose

I can't help but feel I'm being punished, too. I've been a religious person all my life. I could never do anything wrong due to my horribly guilty consience. I always play by the rules and I'm always so, so careful. So it's completely unreal to me that I could have this disease. I always felt that God took care of me and that everything happens for a reason. However, I'm really struggling to find the reasoning behind this. I keep thinking that somewhere along the road, I must have done something wrong and this is what I get.

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JustFedUpAndTired

I agree with all the views here but I also feel like I'm being punished. Before this happened (and I was no virgin) I had decided to abstain from sex and I "rededicated" myself to God...started reading the word like I should...going back to church...no cursing...I mean I really tried! Yet I was still lonely. I met a guy that was basically a wolf in sheep's clothing. I prayed for God to send someone to me...and maybe I was so blind by what I wanted that I believed it was him. Anyway he lied and slept with someone else (though that's not how he got H, he's been having it and didn't think I should know). Anyway I strayed...began sleeping with this guy and here I am.

I know God is just...never doubted it one minute! However I know he punishes his children...teaches us lessons...however you want to look at it. I just feel like this HAS to be happening for something I've done.

I don't think that everything that happens bad to a person is a punishment from God but for me? I can't help but feel this way. I've abstained ever since this happened and yet I'm having the hardest time getting back to where I was before this. By that I mean in the word, church, etc.

I do understand how u feel.

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Acesheart

Hey smartgirl, I did nothing wrong to receive my H. I had only 1 other partner and we were due to be married, unfortunately he was using drugs and i didn't find out till we were involved and i had the ring. I was 19 then and a virgin. Then i met my 1st hubby and we were in our relationship 4yrs (married 4 months when he gave me h) he cheated. I did nothing wrong. People say god doesn't give us what we can't handle, but its not true. He does give us situations we cannot handle , but its to make us STRONGER. If you can handle H , you can handle anything. Never should you feel punished by this. Our God is a loving God and caring God. He doesn't punish us , the devil temps us and we fall prey. That is what i believe. We are special and why we were chosen i will never know. I had a miscarriage 8 yrs ago. In that situation i asked WHY? I thought perhaps then i was being punished? But nope i now understand everything happens for a reason. The reason is to make us stronger and wiser. I hope this helps ease your mind. I too have asked the same questions but now i feel comfortable in my prayers and i know one day i will get the answers to help me heal. truly, Aces.:)

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RealisticGal
I can't help but feel I'm being punished, too. I've been a religious person all my life. I could never do anything wrong due to my horribly guilty consience. I always play by the rules and I'm always so, so careful. So it's completely unreal to me that I could have this disease. I always felt that God took care of me and that everything happens for a reason. However, I'm really struggling to find the reasoning behind this. I keep thinking that somewhere along the road, I must have done something wrong and this is what I get.

The reason people get Herpes simplex is because it is a virus that humans get. It is no different from the flu or chicken pox in that respect. They are just viruses that humans get.

All species of animals, and also plants, get viruses. Do you suppose the lilies in the field are being "punished" for their "sinful ways?"

:flowers:

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luckyCat

Horses, koala bears and even gorillas suffer from their own strains of herpes. Not all are sexually transmitted but all are highly contagious. No one is doing anything to you. It just happened.

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Angrygurl

I sometimes feel i was punished too for being a bad person. I felt as though God was angry at me. But, now I know better and I feel his love. Things could b much worse.......i am quite healthy, have minor OBs without horrible symptoms, but, they have gotten worse over the yrs. Im praying for a cure......or any type of help. God loves us all:)

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Dilara

Dear smartgirl,

I feel that I can really relate to you, even though I never took an abstinence vow, I used to be a good Christian, went to church on a weekly basis, did some community service and read the bible every day...all that changed when I fell in love...I thought God had sent him to me as a gift for me being such a good Christian...and in the end, he was the one to give me herpes...I feel so guilty...for losing my faith...for falling in love...for having sex...

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concealed

I know how you feel but you have to remember God is not vengeful. I was married for a very long time, went thru a divorce & my first relationship after ended with genital hsv1. I felt like it somehow was because of the divorce and not sticking out the marriage. It seemed like a punishment. Now its been a few years and I still can't seem to open up to anyone.

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notagain909

If god isn't vengeful then why is he giving us herpes? This is clearly a punishment. It will keep a good portion of us from ever getting married.

God punishes us for our sins every day.

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RealisticGal

I just think it is pretty arrogant for any individual to believe that an almighty being would be that involved with their everyday life.

Other species (both animal and plant) are affected by viruses, and every other manner of pathogen. Who here really believes those bunnies and daisies are being "punished" for their wrongdoing?????

I believe the worst part of this theory of "punishment," is that it will hold a person back from accepting and managing Herpes simplex as the stupid, common virus it is.

:itsme:

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Acesheart

Hey RealisticGal, I totally agree with you. I have looked at my GHSV2 as my blessing! It gave me what not having herps could not. It gave me loyal, decent, honest man. One who wanted to be committed in an honest relationship. It gave me unconditional love and respect and most of all taught me to trust again. It also gave me a family something I had never had or experienced. Now 22 years later we just as happy , well maybe more so , then we were years ago. I know that God has had this planned for me and I have never doubted that his plans are for me, not truly what I would have chosen ( getting H the way I did) but what I needed to live the life I always dreamed of. I'm healthy and happy and I have finally found a place in this world I belong. Truly, Ace.. :)

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accelerate the response

At best God is indifferent, at worst this confirms that God as such cannot exist - how could a loving God allow Muscular Dystrophy, Parkinsons, terminal Cancer, HIV, or indeed the waste of happiness and loss of human contentment that is HSV? It finally dawned on me - you are on your own out here. As an oncologist once said: "Cancer does not stop working on a Sunday...."

Because sex is involved with GHSV you could call it a punishment but the others? Cancer? No, there's a life force of some kind but its hard to see a loving God creating humanity with all its terrible afflictions.

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