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chocoholic91

Is it possible to NOT transfer herpes?

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chocoholic91

Okay, well I was diagnosed with herpes type one. The last time I had oral sex performed on me was when my ex-boyfriend and I had started dating which was the first time we had sex. Anyways, we dated for four months & broke up in December. We started talking again and had sex(UNPROTECTED) early last month. Exactly a week after we had sex, I started getting sores down there. I went to the doctor and she said it looked like herpes( She did a swab test). I told my ex-boyfriend and he start flipping out on me, saying he didn't give it to me and he refused to get tested at first. However, he finally said he was going to and when he got his results back, he called me leaving me a voice mail saying he was negative. So, I finally called back to get my results from my doctor and she said that I was diagnosed with herpes type 1. Like I said before, the last time I had oral sex performed on me was when my ex-boyfriend and I started dating. So, if I've been carrying it for all these months...how could he be negative? We have had A LOT of unprotected sex throughout our relationship and if I had it...wouldn't he get it as well?

I kind of think I was misdiagnosed as well. I mean, I got sores exactly a week after having unprotected sex with him. Not to mention it burned pretty badly after we had sex. I know that he sleeps around with a lot of people and he did cheat on me. (Yes, I know I was stupid to go back). I know that stress and lack of sleep can make outbreaks occur more, but I'm ALWAYS stressed out and can NEVER sleep. I was seven days late for my period once because of stress.

Oh, and also I'm on birth control..so I was using some kind of protection...just not from stds!

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RealisticGal

Transmission of herpes is not a guaranteed thing. It is possible to have contact without passing it. The most likely time for it to be passed is during an active outbreak. So if you avoid sex at that time, the odds are lower. Definitely not zero, just lower.

Men are less likely to get herpes from women. Women are more likely to get it from men. Just a matter of physiology (women have more mucus membranes in the genital area).

The bottom line is, it is sort of the luck of the draw. A person could have lots and lots of unprotected sex and never get herpes, while another person who had sex for the first and only time (using condoms, even) might get herpes. There is no rhyme or reason.

It is possible you got herpes from someone else before this guy and just had your first outbreak later. But I have to admit, I'm skeptical. I have to wonder about this guy's test results. I really do.

Not sure why you think you got misdiagnosed since a swab test was done. They are fairly reliable. :wavey:

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chocoholic91

The reason I think I was misdiagnosed because I got symptoms a week after I had unprotected sex with him and it burned right after. Is that normal? However, I heard that if you have sex after going a while without having it then that can cause an outbreak to appear? I could have only gotten it from him and one other partner, but I guess that doesn't matter anymore. I can't sit and dwell on who gave it to me because it's pretty much impossible seeing as I got it from oral sex. Thank you for your response.

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RealisticGal
The reason I think I was misdiagnosed because I got symptoms a week after I had unprotected sex with him and it burned right after. Is that normal?

The "classic" time frame for symptoms to appear is 2 to 20 days after infection. It can vary wildly from that, but that is the way it is "supposed" to go.

The burning right after sex could be totally unrelated --- as in just caused by the sex, not a symptom of herpes.

However, I heard that if you have sex after going a while without having it then that can cause an outbreak to appear?

Sexual activity, especially if it is a bit "rough," is a pretty well-established trigger of outbreaks. Using sufficient lubrication can help prevent that.

I could have only gotten it from him and one other partner, but I guess that doesn't matter anymore. I can't sit and dwell on who gave it to me because it's pretty much impossible seeing as I got it from oral sex. Thank you for your response.

I don't understand exactly what you are saying here, but agree that dwelling on who your giver might have been is pointless. In many cases, there is no way to know. Since 80% of the North American population is estimated to have oral herpes, but about 70% of those don't have symptoms and don't realize it, it is very hard to figure out.

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ScaryJimmy

You might want to double-check on your ex-boyfriend's negative. I could completely see a doctor saying that someone was "negative" for genital herpes if they tested negative for HSV-2.

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nosila

Ok, this is just my personal experience but I don't know if it will help you in any way

I got my first OB when I had been in a relastionship for 8 months, and I would say about 10/11 months after I contracted it (in hindsight, obv i didn't know at the time). I had to get 3 swab tests done before I got a positive result. I was told they have to get it bang on the right time to catch a positive for it, I had OBs all 3 times I was tested but didn't catch it at the right time until number 3. 3rd time lucky, hey...lol

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elevatorbeat

I got hsv-1 the same exact way. Actually it sounds like the same exact same story.I started to get sores down there from my very first bf/sexual partner when i was 16. He was also tested and the results were negative. It makes me sad to think that other people in the world are also living my story. Thankfully it does gt better and I'm happy to report that there are people out there that will love you unconditionally and except you for who you are. You are not alone.

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RealisticGal
You might want to double-check on your ex-boyfriend's negative. I could completely see a doctor saying that someone was "negative" for genital herpes if they tested negative for HSV-2.

SJ has a good point. So, some questions:

Do you have HSV1 or HSV2?

Are you saying you have only been with 2 sexual partners in the past?

What exact test was used on the one who tested "negative?"

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chocoholic91

I have HSV1 and yes, I've only had two sexual partners. I don't know what kind of test was used for him because he never said. All he told me was that he got his results back and it was negative. Honestly, I know he didn't really did get tested. I found out that he admitted to someone that he was having sex with while dating me, that he does indeed have herpes. She forwarded me the text message and everything.

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RealisticGal
I have HSV1 and yes, I've only had two sexual partners. I don't know what kind of test was used for him because he never said. All he told me was that he got his results back and it was negative. Honestly, I know he didn't really did get tested. I found out that he admitted to someone that he was having sex with while dating me, that he does indeed have herpes. She forwarded me the text message and everything.

Oh, okay. Sounds like you have it all pretty much figured out at this point then.

:dong:

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Foohy

Do you know if he was swab tested or blood tested?

My first outbreak occurred early september '10 and i got blood tested and it came back negative and my doctor said i didn't have it. Unfortunately, i do, and i only know this because i have passed it on to my current boyfriend. :/

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RealisticGal
Do you know if he was swab tested or blood tested?

My first outbreak occurred early september '10 and i got blood tested and it came back negative and my doctor said i didn't have it. Unfortunately, i do, and i only know this because i have passed it on to my current boyfriend. :/

Sounds like you were tested too early and never had a follow-up blood test done, correct?

It is too bad about your current fella, but you were dealing with a misconception. Too bad your doctor was not aware of how common a false negative blood test result is when testing is done during a primary outbreak, and too bad he didn't do a swab test as well.

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RealisticGal

It is important to know that certain test kits, such as the Herpeselect Immunoblot or the BioKit, test ONLY for HSV2.

So if a person has, for instance, oral HSV1 --- those tests will not pick it up.

They will get those results and believe they do not have herpes at all. And yet, they could very well pass HSV1 to someone else's genital area via oral sex.

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Foohy

To be completely honest, i don't think my doctor even made the effort to test me, and she shrugged it off to be my body having a low immune system, even after seeing one of my sores that appeared on my upper inner thigh.

+ i don't know the difference between HSV1 + HSV2. I've never had a cold sore in my life, but i know where i got it from and he gets cold sores and i think he might get genital herpes as well, but isn't aware.

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RealisticGal
To be completely honest, i don't think my doctor even made the effort to test me, and she shrugged it off to be my body having a low immune system, even after seeing one of my sores that appeared on my upper inner thigh.

+ i don't know the difference between HSV1 + HSV2. I've never had a cold sore in my life, but i know where i got it from and he gets cold sores and i think he might get genital herpes as well, but isn't aware.

Here is an article that does a really good job of explaining the similarities and differences between HSV1 and HSV2:

"GOOD" VIRUS / "BAD" VIRUS -- The Truth about HSV-1 and HSV-2

:wavey:

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RealisticGal
I spoke with my boyfriend today, I have HSV-1.

Are you saying you learned what type you have from your boyfriend?

Or did you just put those two things in the same sentence together?

:wavey:

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fallenangel2011
Transmission of herpes is not a guaranteed thing. It is possible to have contact without passing it. The most likely time for it to be passed is during an active outbreak. So if you avoid sex at that time, the odds are lower. Definitely not zero, just lower.

Men are less likely to get herpes from women. Women are more likely to get it from men. Just a matter of physiology (women have more mucus membranes in the genital area).

The bottom line is, it is sort of the luck of the draw. A person could have lots and lots of unprotected sex and never get herpes, while another person who had sex for the first and only time (using condoms, even) might get herpes. There is no rhyme or reason.

It is possible you got herpes from someone else before this guy and just had your first outbreak later. But I have to admit, I'm skeptical. I have to wonder about this guy's test results. I really do.

Not sure why you think you got misdiagnosed since a swab test was done. They are fairly reliable. :wavey:

/B]

I definitely agree, that his story sounds too fishy. If I was you, I was ask him for the proof of paperwork to prove that he is negative. The only reason why I say that is because 5 days after I had sex with this guy, he ended up with blisters on his penis. However, in his case, he never went to the doctor to get checked out. I, in the meantime did and turned out that I was positive and therefore, I was the one who may have passed it on to him! Your story is just like mine except that the roles are switched....(You are in the place of the guy I slept with and I am in place of your ex boyfriend).....I would ask for proof!!

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