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Have to admit this now

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How god damn ridiculously stupid I am. Don't get me wrong, on the whole I have accepted everything and am pretty cool with it all but!!! I have to get off my chest a rant about how f***ing STUPID I am. For that, I need to go back to the time I believe I caught it. I can't guarantee it, and I guess I may have caught it from the same guy whatever, but reading this I'm sure most people will see why I feel like such a total idiot

I met a guy when I had a boyfriend at the age of 21. We chatted and he said, if your ever single, let me know. As it is, I went out the weekend I split up with this boyfriend and met this guy again. We'll call him Steve. Steve and I messed around for a few months, nothing serious at all just casual sex. One day I went to his and while we were getting down to it I saw he had sores on his penis. I was like "What is that?" and he said "I cut myself shaving" I shrugged it off but, and this has got to rank right up there with the most ridiculously stupidly dumb things I have ever done in my life...I thought oh well, as long as I'm not sucking it cos I don't want those scabby bits in my mouth. Oh god, what I wouldn't do for a time machine to go back to that moment and either use a condom or just pass. I mean, I can't guarantee that's when i caught it but I'm pretty sure it is. And how easily preventable that could have been. And HOW STUPID WAS I!? How could I have not had a bit more respect for myself and done the right thing. I don't know if he knew he had it but he must have known something was going on really. I mean I may have it totally wrong and he genuinely did have a shaving rash or something. I don't know. It was a few years ago now, but I remember him being incredibly cagey when I asked what it was. I just want to go back in time and bitchslap my 21 year old self!

Anyway, like I said I have accepted it and everything now but i just cannot believe I had such a blatant opportunity to avoid it, which is far more than most people had on thsi forum but I just had so little regard for myself, and felt so bad to insist he used a condom as we had never used them before that I just let it pass. I really do want to hit my head against a wall sometimes with how stupid I was though!

Oh and just in case anyone was thinking of it, in case you haven't noticed I'm well aware that I was completely and utterly stupid so please don't tell me that, I don't need to hear it as it's too late now

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I am in exactly the same boat, cept i KNEW it was a coldsore. It had scabbed over and looked dead. the boy told me it was dead and like gone away...the next morning when i woke up it was barely there. Anyways we were out drinking. I was meant to go out for ONE drink. instead i got drunk and even though i could see the coldsore on his mouth, i still went home wth him.

i was so drunk, we both were. i let him go down on me without realising. Next two days- BAM worst pain of my life. I could of avoided it as well, but i was a stupid drunken idiot and i hit myself in the head everyday. so dont worry you're not the only one.

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