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wthwtf

Diagnosised Today, but I've had this for 6 years

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wthwtf

First off....I'm so glad I found this site and I wish none of has had to be here.

Here is my story.

As the title states, I received my results today. I had an outbreak about 6 years ago and had then had a couple a year for the next 3 years. Once the 4th year and nothing for the last 2 years. Every outbreak was in the exact same spot and only one blister. I was swap tested years ago. The doctor said it was best to swab instead of use the blood test becuase of the HSV1 results. The swab was neg, but that was probably becuase of the stage of the blister. I had been married at this point for 10 years so my doctors told me not to worry much and if anything it was probably HSV1 transfered by my husband from a cold sore. Found out some time later that my husband who I loved dearly and still do cheated on me so we could still be talking HSV2 here. Still didn't think I had Herpes because other gynos told me it apeared to be an ingrown hair.

Fast forward...Im in my mid 30s and was widowed over a year ago. Last week I decided to have a full STD panel just settle my nerves and the HSV test was positive... HSV 1 or HSV2 who knows and I this point it doesn't matter. I'm really upset about this.

Here is the catch. I recently started a relationship with someone I truely care about. We have been intimate for about 6 weeks (appx 20 times). We have used a condom everytime, but now I'm worried. I know if this is HSV2 that my husband gave it to me. i was faithful our entire marriage. I feel quilty even saying this becuase my husband was an amazing man. (Breath) I know I need to tell my boyfriend, but I can't imagine what this will be like. I'm going to see him tomorrow night and I don't have the nerve to tell him yet, so I will have to reject his sexual advanced tomrrow. This is all so crazy...Any advice??

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RealisticGal
First off....I'm so glad I found this site and I wish none of has had to be here.

Here is my story.

As the title states, I received my results today. I had an outbreak about 6 years ago and had then had a couple a year for the next 3 years. Once the 4th year and nothing for the last 2 years. Every outbreak was in the exact same spot and only one blister. I was swap tested years ago. The doctor said it was best to swab instead of use the blood test becuase of the HSV1 results. The swab was neg, but that was probably becuase of the stage of the blister. I had been married at this point for 10 years so my doctors told me not to worry much and if anything it was probably HSV1 transfered by my husband from a cold sore. Found out some time later that my husband who I loved dearly and still do cheated on me so we could still be talking HSV2 here. Still didn't think I had Herpes because other gynos told me it apeared to be an ingrown hair.

Fast forward...Im in my mid 30s and was widowed over a year ago. Last week I decided to have a full STD panel just settle my nerves and the HSV test was positive... HSV 1 or HSV2 who knows and I this point it doesn't matter. I'm really upset about this.

Here is the catch. I recently started a relationship with someone I truely care about. We have been intimate for about 6 weeks (appx 20 times). We have used a condom everytime, but now I'm worried. I know if this is HSV2 that my husband gave it to me. i was faithful our entire marriage. I feel quilty even saying this becuase my husband was an amazing man. (Breath) I know I need to tell my boyfriend, but I can't imagine what this will be like. I'm going to see him tomorrow night and I don't have the nerve to tell him yet, so I will have to reject his sexual advanced tomrrow. This is all so crazy...Any advice??

My advice is to tell him the exact same thing you told us here. Just tell him exactly how this has happened to you.

That will let him know that prior to this you had been tested, but the results were negative, or the doctors told you your symptoms "didn't look like HSV." But now you have had a positive test. So you just now found out you have this, you don't know exactly when you got it, but now you know and ---- because you care about him ---- you needed to let him know too. Be prepared with information for his questions, including things the two of you can do to decrease the possibility of transmission. This site has things you can print out from the links on the right side of this page, even.

He then has the option to decide what he wants to do. Either way, you need to accept his choice, secure in the knowledge that you gave him that choice as soon as you knew about this.

:wavey:

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RealisticGal

By the way, I suggest you get a type specific IgG-based blood test, so you will know exactly what type you do have. And your partner should do the same.

Chances are high he has at least one type, since about 80% of the North American adult population does (but about 70% of them do not know it, due to lack of symptoms and lack of testing).

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blessed82

i would say just to tell him, he may be more understanding than u think.

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    • Ashleerae
      Yeah whoops, I didn't see you wrote HSV-1 until later haha. I definitely see your point. 
      Just some random thoughts on the subject that I've been thinking about similar to your situation, even if they are a little different. I've been in a workplace where a girl was the herpes girl so I totally get that. Not the brand you want. Yeah it is so common. Somebody else in the room probably has it, like you said. It feels like its so unnatural and isolated when diagnosed because nobody talks about it, but its so freaking common. Maybe people are more open about HSV1, but maybe not.  Who knows if the rest of the world will catch up. It's nice to not care what the rest of the world has to say sometimes. That would be tough at 18-22 having everyone you know find out. I assume my own hometown will find out one day from someone who knows; that was one of my other biggest fears about this too, but it's fading. I guess I better start working on my comeback game so it's in the holster when I need it Have a good night, good thread Hairpees.  
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Runride and welcome to the website, I hope there is some thoughts to assist in your thinking. Wow, where do live? Sounds a bit like 'Deliverance' country or something out of a David Lynch movie. I'm very sorry about that. I have three options for your consideration. They are not in order of any particular preference. 1. Ignore it. Go about your life as per normal. You are the actor on your own stage and the other players will do what they do. Do as you wish to do with your life and other people will buy into that, or they're not welcome on your journey. Herpes plays the role it always has for you. You inform partners in advance of sex. 2. Take a stand to be open about your status. Requires a bit more bravery to put yourself out there for little short term reward certainly. "Yes I have herpes like most of us do orally or genitally. What do you feel the issues surrounding this are? What ought to be different in our lives and the way we live them as a result?" 3. Move to a new environment to give yourself a better chance of living life under option 1 or even option 2 above.
    • Broken Butterfly
      For sure, why bother if it’s pointless and costly but I get what you mean.  
    • Broken Butterfly
      I said I considered it but not that I was going to sue- I have no idea what my options are here.  
    • Hairpees
      I’m definitely not saying you need to file a lawsuit, you’ll read on here most people don’t have success. I’ve mentioned it because hes not responding to you so maybe that will wake him up.
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