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Is it herpes or could it be trauma from intercourse?

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I am a 22 year old female. Recently I had a major lapse in judgment and I fear I may have something.

One week ago I slept with my best guy friend (who I've known my whole life, our families are close friends and neighbors). He has herpes and I've known about it for a few years. He has only had two outbreaks in three years, and does not take anti-viral drugs. His last outbreak occurred two years ago. The day before I slept with him I saw my gyno for a pap and full STD screening. I got the results back Friday and I tested negative for everything prior to the sexual activity. I had intercourse with him a total of three times last week (3/11, 3/12, 3/13). We used condoms every time. Also, I didn't touch his genitals and we didn't have oral sex. My gyno told me my chances of contracting the virus were very slim under the conditions and that it should not be a factor in my choice to engage in that sort of activity with him.

Then I slept with his roommate (reasons not relevant, but it wasn't like you would think). It was stupid considering I didn't know his roommate that well, while also being my ****tiest moment (sleeping with two guys within the same week). I had become pretty good friends with him and told him that I had slept with my best guy friend and that we were careful (his roommate already knew about the herpes). After a few too many, Thursday (3/17) I had intercourse and oral with the roommate...twice. We did not use protection and he came inside of me every time. The roommate and I are now dating exclusively and I had sex with him again on 3/19. We did not use protection and he came inside of me three times that night.

Now, I'm thinking something isn't quite right. I have been sore since the last time we had sex (which was for over four hours straight). Up until today I thought I was only sore because I had a lot of sex, but since I have never been sore for this long after sex before, I decided to look at it. Sadly enough I have never looked at my own vagina in a mirror before now. I'm freaking out because the opening of my vagina looks like it is covered in uneven skin. Kind of like growths, but I don't think they are warts because they are smooth like the skin in your mouth. Some of them are a little red but they kind of look like skin tags rather than blisters. It's like the inside of my vagina is falling out, "collapsing" so to speak. I have a lot of swelling also, which my gyno believes is from the intense sex. It didn't bother me to urinate until I messed with them trying to pull/pinch to see them better. I have nails so I could have scratched myself doing this. Right after looking I peed and it hurt so bad I had to let it out in spurts. Then, about 6 hours later I peed again and it didn't really hurt, it just felt like I had rough sex. Now though (a day later) it hurts like it did after I messed with them. My whole vagina is really red and kind of raw looking. I am also experiencing some unusual discharge. It looks pinkish yellow, sometimes just yellow, and I can contract (do a kegel) to push a good bit out. It has a mild odor, not fishy or strong, but different from normal. The area at the creases between my legs and butt cheeks were achy briefly( only for maybe an hour) like you would experience right before or on your period. I had a mild headache for a short while today also, but that could be due to stress. No fever. I currently feel perfectly normal as far as flu-like symptoms go. I should also state that I do have an IUD (Mirena) which I have had since late September 2010.

Today I got tested but I don't get the results for a few days and it's driving me crazy right now which leads me to post this question. My gyno said she was 70% chance it's herpes, and 30% chance it's just trauma from lots of sex. Can trauma really cause irritation that looks similar to herpes but isn't herpes? Could I just ironically show symptoms of something right after sex? I'm so unsure as to what is going on, but I am scared to death!

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The waiting for results is pretty hard, but there is simply no way around it. :(

So, a few questions...

What kind of tests were done previous to sleeping with your friend who has herpes?

Do you know for sure that herpes simplex was included?

Do you have a printout of the results?

What type of herpes test did your gyno just do?

Was it a swab/culture of the area?

Blood test?


Do you know if the man you are now involved with (roommate) has been screened for all STIs?


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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • StayingUpbeat
      First, that your doctor simply tried non-generic valacyclovir instead of referring you to a dermatologist is surprising.  If you are taking daily Valacyclovir, and still have frequent visible lesions, a competent dermatologist would prescribe something called Foscarnet.  It is unfortunately an injection and (I believe) it must be administered weekly at an injection center or hospital.  However, the combination of weekly foscarnet and daily valacyclovir would almost certainly eliminate your visible outbreaks.  It's important to note that no current drug combination is known to totally eliminate HSV shedding.  You would need to have routine blood monitoring on this combination as Foscarnet has some potential side effects. Next, there are members on this site who have been able to obtain a drug called Amenalief from Japan.  It's a recently approved (in Japan) member of a class of HSV drugs called Helicase Primase Inhibitors (HPI): https://www.mimaki-family-japan.com/item/detail?item_prefix=TF&item_code=705711&item_branch=001 It is bio-similar to a drug called Pritelivir which is currently in clinical trials in the US for HSV in the immuno-compromised (i.e. organ transplants, HIV).  A member in this thread talks specifically about his experience taking 100mg/day to help with outbreaks.  It unfortunately sounds very expensive to take suppressively.  Finally, there was recently a small successful clinical trial on the use of topical squaric acid dibutylester (SADBE) for the control of HSV.  If your doctor is comfortable trying alternate therapies to control your outbreaks topical SADBE is an FDA approved cream that you could discuss trying.  My recommendation would be to bring this paper discussing the trial to your next doctor's visit.  It would be an off-label use but the cream is relatively benign.  It's most frequent use is clearing-up cutaneous warts on children. As always none of this discussion constitutes medical advice (I am simply a middle-aged engineer not a doctor) and you should always follow the direction of your doctor or medical professional over advise found on the internet.  One of these three options may however improve your situation.  Unless there is something other than HSV going on.
    • Hellothere123
      I really don’t feel like I can keep going on with this, it’s always in the back of my head and I feel like I’m not worthy of love anymore and I just want to end it all 
    • honkschonks
      @Anon222 I told the women I have slept with most recently. She’s been a regular partner who has had zero symptoms. She’s going to get tested. She’s the most level headed person I know and a good friend. One doctor told me for legal reasons to tell everyone in the past year that I have it. Another doctor said that’s unrealistic and pointless. I have no idea when it started as I had no major undoubtable outbreak, so going back a year may be too far, it may not be far enough. I’m not sure what to do. It has irritated me how casual doctors are about this. It won’t kill you but The emotional effect of knowing you have it or thinking you may have it seems to be more damaging than having it. People on here talking about suicide. I guess that’s why they don’t test for it, or it just got out of hand and there’s no going back. Strangely I haven’t been that stressed about it. Luckily I’ve been very busy working so I haven’t had time worry about it. Thanks @NY12345 for your thoughts.
    • Runride
      I've heard of STD dating sites but have never looked into one. Are they real? And does anyone have any experience with them?  If someone does I would really like to hear some details.  They sound kind of scary, but it seems it could also be a relief to know I would be less likely to be judged for this condition.
    • IcantThinkofaName
      I've also considered this option..and its still looking like a good idea. so... Did you try any other Av's like famvir or privetir? I think there are some others too...  Up the vitamin C, check your vit D levels via bloodwork... Are you stressed out or have a stressful lifestyle ( aside from having HSV, which alone is a stressor)? There are no other health issues going on ? How hard are your workouts? The last few Obs I had were after very intense resistance/weight workouts, and I was completely exhausted after...combined with a night of bad or little sleep. Tried L- glutamine supplementation? Lithium orotate ( its a supplement too) has been known to supress the virus/replication too. I have also read it could mutate it...not sure how accurate that is, or if there was a study that proved that..maybe google it. I took The lithium one time and it was an abbreviated/shorter Outbreak than others...but I was also taking alot of vit C, or it could have happened for another reason...I'll never know for sure. but...mediating for 12 hours a day might help too... (seriously) but just don't meditate on HSV. Or maybe in another year your body will get a better hold on the virus and can cope better. it is depressing, I can relate.  My Obs have finally  lessened after 1 yr and 3 months. I still have almost daily sensations, tingling though..I'm probably contagious AF. Sex isn't really on the radar anymore. so No reason to take the AVs as they cause some side effects for me. Time to join that monastery. There are more important things in life than sex, right?  (thats what some people are telling me and I want to punch them. I really liked/enjoyed sex) Hang in there. I was told after the 6 yr mark, HSV becomes a non issue in your body. ( thats what one of my Drs told me, so  not sure how accurate that is either, but I guess it gives me 4.5 years of hope) let me know if any of this helps or you find something that does.I wish you the best.  

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