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la di da di da

Life is AWESOME

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la di da di da

I was 16.... he was 19. 2 weeks later I'm feeling the consequences. I went to the Dr. and she visually confirmed it.. and then with tests...

When i first got it i ran to the computer and got on a forum.. not this one.. but like many who just join and post.. i was there sharing my shock and finding answers... or a tip on how to deal with this sudden hell i was feeling over my body.

23 now... 7 years with this... I must say I am living a normal life.

i was always truthful to all my partners after contracting it. (yes... it was very possible to get a partner after infection)

I had 3 serious relationships.. each of around a year and a half - 3 years... they never contracted it. and barely any use of protection.

now you all most prob think im one of those lucky ones that get 1 outbreak and never again... yea.. that totally isnt me. I used to get 1 or 2 sores right before my period but thats about it. at least that was then... at the beginning.. that first year was hell... i took meds and it blew my outbreak out of proportion... i never took meds again..

well... i lived a normal young adult life, party... met men... and had a blast...

NEVER LETTING MY ILLNESS GET IN THE WAY!

the day i found out i had herpes i promised myself.. i was not letting this stop me. and yes.. i have had those moments from hell where im sitting on the toilet crying my eyes out from the pain of the outbreak.... walking and thinking "oh my god.. this is so painful".... thinking "this little thing! this messes your life up?!"

I lived life confident with myself. no.. i was not herpes... herpes was not my main attribute... i put my true self out there. one thing many people have a problem.. is they let themselves be overcome by herpes. NOOOO dont do that... YOU... are first.. herpes trails along.

the following was my... advisory.. lol

I have herpes... Its not as bad as you see on the internet, most of those pictures are extreme cases. My outbreak is one or two dots every month or so. It comes before my period and I know at this moment I do not have an outbreak. I've had it for x amount of years and I am comfortable knowing my outbreak cycle. you can say no.. i completely understand. I was not given this choice.

then... i will tell you... i got a "ok thats fine" 99% of the time. (i think i only got 2 no's in 4 years.... and i regularly had sex) and YES these guys were hot with muscles... or cute or whatever not ugly guys. you would be surprised!

its not the end. all you have to do now.. is... learn to let your true self shine... and be honest. <3

my present:

I met my HUSBAND in 2008. he does not have herpes. We have a gorgeous daughter together who was born in 2009 by c-section.

Girls.. it is totally possible. its not the end of your life. please... dont do that to yourselves. Currently i get one dot every... 4 - 5 months.

Outbreaks lessen through the passing of the years; year #7 and my husband is like.. "you havent had an outbreak in a while!"

you guys will be ok.. and we must all be greatful that we did not catch AIDS like others have. Thinking that "hey at least i didnt catch AIDS" sets me in my place about herpes. We are not losing our lives. and we do not have to punish ourselves about herpes.

<333333333333

La di da di da

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MissTigre

La di da di da! What an awesome post! Thank you! How fabulous to read! I'm having my second ob and stupidly let it get me down and I'm a lucky one who gets it mildly!

Reading your post has re-inspired me to get on with this and remember that actually, things could always be worse, and the more I read about herpes and speak to people who have it, the more I find tons of people who have it, meet 'the one' who just doesn't care and loves them anyway, and have wonderful, happy lives!

I'm so determined now to do the same!

:)

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Kitty123

I love you La Di Da! LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU! So many newbies (and maybe not so newbies like myself) need to hear this.

Thank you for putting a smile on my face :)

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Froggy22

I wish I could feel this way. I'm too stubbornly logical to really allow myself to get this positive and blindly forget about this disease. I was never a dater before and I don't see myself ever doing it now. Morality and just plain responsible behavior prevents me from spontaneous sex and very few are willing to wait until you get to know them first. I'm considering withdrawing from my current social relationships and focusing on a helping profession to refocus my sexual energies. I'll never be a saint like Mother Teresa because I'm not a religious person but I'll contribute in my own way.

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Missy117

wow i realy hope i can reach the positive attitude u live life with one day. I am 20yrs old and was told i have herpes about a week ago. I don't think the guy knew he had it and the worst thing is he is someone who doesn't usualy live here and hes gone bak overseas and i have noway of contacting him. I have been really struggling, i will be ok one minute and the next il be having an emotional breakdown. The thing i am scared of the most is having to tell a guy and then being rejected because of it. I am currently seeing someone we havent had sex but i dont know how to tell him and im so woried hes not going to want to bother with me any more once i tell him.

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Alexann

I think the positive attitude with herpes totally comes with time but you gotta do the work. I was just diagnosed 5 weeks ago and it's been hard. I went through a similar situation where I needed to tell a couple of people I had been with before I knew where I got it from. Both the of the guys took what I said and reacted totally differently. One of them got tested and tested negative, so I knew I didn't get it from him. The other guy said he didn't want to talk to me ever again and that our friendship was strained, turns out he gave it to me afterall. I still feel angry at this guy for giving it to me and then not wanting to speak to me about it. I really felt like talking to him more about it would help bring closure but he wouldn't allow it. I found talking to my close friends, doctor and mom really helped when I was feeling depressed and upset.

It helps to remember that you're not alone and that you're loved and accepted regardless of having herpes. I think it's a good idea to establish a foundation before telling someone, that way you have a chance to see if they like you for you and are not just looking for sex. I also think it's important to not put them at any risk, so educating yourself about herpes, making sure you play it safe and telling them before you get intimate with them. They may not want to be with you after telling them but that's their decision not yours and you've been honest and informed them. They probably aren't the person for you if they don't want to work through it with you and that's okay too. I guarantee there's more fish in the sea.

Sometimes, I feel extremely distracted by having herpes and it's hard but I found using the right medicine helps with the symptoms and helps me forget I have it. You just got to find what works for you. I know it gets easier with time and the more support you have the better you'll be.

Good Luck and Take Care!

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CupcakeDimples

Wow that's beautiful. It's been a couple of weeks now since I found out. Sometimes I sit back and say thank you to God because my grandmother said there is always someone who would kill to be in your shoes. Just think of all the HIV patients who would gladly take herpes. I'm just grateful, its depressing at times and these headaches are a bit, but it could be worse. I'm happy for you, that you still have happiness, maybe I will be in your shoes one day :) im slowly learning to not let my life revolve around this. People were right who said it gets better with time. It truly does.

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nosila

I totally agree with you la di da

I was diagnosed almost 3 years ago and although when i first got it I was totally gutted, you don't really have a choice but to get on with things. it's not the end of the world. yeah it sucks sometimes, when you get an ob that is bad and you feel like crap. But then it goes away (I realise this isn't the case for everyone, but the majority of people). I get an ob every 3/4 months and it usually lasts 2 weeks (although this last ob I had was more like 5 days from the warning signs to the sores going) I have friends. I have a daughter whom i fell pergnant with after my diagnosis. I have a good social life...well as good as you can expect as a single mum with an almost 2 year old daughter lol. I know when I first got diagnosed I was convinced I was unlovable, dirty etc. Many bad points he did have, but my ex helped me a lot with that. He was very understanding and I don't think I ever really appreciated how much he helped until I look back on it now. Anyway. I am now back in the dating game and have just started talking to a new guy. We go out next weekend, so he may be the first to have a "talk" cold with, as I was with my ex for a few months before i got my first ob...that was a shocker! Thanks ladida for the little "speech" you put there, it's given me an idea of a good thing to say when the time comes myself :)

Life goes on, most of us are lucky not to be affected too badly with herpes and it is just an outbreak every now and then. Once you get a handle on your own warning signs and ob cycle I think it becomes a lot easier to deal with. When you know when roughly to expect it, and how it's going to be it's much easier imo.

Life is out there to live, I am not going to let it stop me doing anything I want to do. it's nobody's business but mine and a partner's, it's not like you have a flashing sign over your head saying "I have herpes" so if you don't want people to know for whatever reason, don't tell them. It's not like you can't go to work (I guess in some cases maybe not, but on the whole!), it's not like you can't study, go on holiday, go to theme parks, hang otu with friends etc....you're not going to infect everyone you lay eyes on there's no need to stop living life :)

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lifesstillgood

La di da di da I could not agree with your post more. You go girl.

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trollcitym

Pleaaaase people, if you are infected DO NOT have unprotected sex with someone who has genetal herpes. And people who are clean, please do not have unprotected sex with someone that does have it. My ex who has it didn't have an outbreak since 07. Dec of last year we had unprotected sex 4 times in the course of the whole time he has had herpes(he has had it since 06), 2 weeks ago I was tested. I am not positve for HSV 2.

You can catch it easily without symptoms. You can give it easily without symptoms. Unless you are married to someone...please don't put them at risk like that. It's immoral.

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nosila
Pleaaaase people, if you are infected DO NOT have unprotected sex with someone who has genetal herpes. And people who are clean, please do not have unprotected sex with someone that does have it. My ex who has it didn't have an outbreak since 07. Dec of last year we had unprotected sex 4 times in the course of the whole time he has had herpes(he has had it since 06), 2 weeks ago I was tested. I am not positve for HSV 2.

You can catch it easily without symptoms. You can give it easily without symptoms. Unless you are married to someone...please don't put them at risk like that. It's immoral.

I totally agree with the having protected sex thing, although if you make it perfectly clear to someone you have herpes and they are at risk of catching it at any time it's their own choice if they don't want to use protection imho, I don't really get the bit I bolded inyour post. You had unprotected sex and you don't have herpes, that kind of shows that it is possible to have sex and not pass it to others. Or did I totally misunderstand what you said

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trollcitym
I totally agree with the having protected sex thing, although if you make it perfectly clear to someone you have herpes and they are at risk of catching it at any time it's their own choice if they don't want to use protection imho, I don't really get the bit I bolded inyour post. You had unprotected sex and you don't have herpes, that kind of shows that it is possible to have sex and not pass it to others. Or did I totally misunderstand what you said

No, I said that after we had unprotected sex 4 times after 90 percent of the time using extra protection beyond condoms (him wearing boxers so no skin touches), I now have HSV 2. He hadn't had 1 symptom since 07.

Most people don't know how easy it is to catch it. I feel like the person infected has a duty to inform them. I feel like if the person infected was honest about how big the risk of catching it is, the non infected person would certainly want to use protection.

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la di da di da

Hey guys... I have signed on and i feel i have the best present i could possibly receive. your replies. and yes... the positive thing is not an easy one. just... try to forget about it... in regards to me having sex unprotected... i noticed my OB has cycles and a rhythm and for some funny reason.. my body warns me b4 i get an OB lol its funny... like w hubby... 3 days b4 i get an ob... my sex drive just SHUTS DOWN. and im like no no no.. lol then boom... i get it.. .and i tell him... SEEEEE i know why i say no lol. i always listen to my body really. and obviously make sure no tingles are there... but these are things you learn after years of having it... start a calender... you may see a pattern :)

oh and yes... i havent transmitted my stuff to anyone thank god.. and hubby says "i know the risks im taking when I got with you" but i think i will die if i give it to him. that is not an option for me. :-/

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la di da di da
La di da di da! What an awesome post! Thank you! How fabulous to read! I'm having my second ob and stupidly let it get me down and I'm a lucky one who gets it mildly!

Reading your post has re-inspired me to get on with this and remember that actually, things could always be worse, and the more I read about herpes and speak to people who have it, the more I find tons of people who have it, meet 'the one' who just doesn't care and loves them anyway, and have wonderful, happy lives!

I'm so determined now to do the same!

:)

lol the person that set my mindset.. told me "Hakuna Matata..." like from the lion king... it means no worries.. for the rest of your days. whenever you feel down.. just say "hakuna matata" and have a laugh. :-P also youtube the song hahaha and sing along.. u wont believe it but it will make you feel better.. as silly as that may sound! <3

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la di da di da
I love you La Di Da! LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU! So many newbies (and maybe not so newbies like myself) need to hear this.

Thank you for putting a smile on my face :)

You are welcome... That was totally my intention of witing this.. i feel i needed to share my experience to people who are now in my shoes...when i first got it. <3

AND I LOVE YOU GUYS TOOO lol really... i just want to help :-P

oh and let me add about how the man made for you will help you in everything

I met him 2008.... 2010 i ended up in severe depression (in the hospital and everything... suicidal.. and no not cuz of the herpes... but post partum depression) then i got diagnosed bipolar... and yea... lol im just putting my pieces together again from the year from hell. but he loves me.. and not herpes not suicidal thoughts... or bipolar has kept him away.. if anything it all brought us closer... lol just so you all see the picture isnt so pretty.. and there are worse things out there than herpes. i rather have herpes than be in a severe depression again. fyi. lol

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trollcitym
Hey guys... I have signed on and i feel i have the best present i could possibly receive. your replies. and yes... the positive thing is not an easy one. just... try to forget about it... in regards to me having sex unprotected... i noticed my OB has cycles and a rhythm and for some funny reason.. my body warns me b4 i get an OB lol its funny... like w hubby... 3 days b4 i get an ob... my sex drive just SHUTS DOWN. and im like no no no.. lol then boom... i get it.. .and i tell him... SEEEEE i know why i say no lol. i always listen to my body really. and obviously make sure no tingles are there... but these are things you learn after years of having it... start a calender... you may see a pattern :)

oh and yes... i havent transmitted my stuff to anyone thank god.. and hubby says "i know the risks im taking when I got with you" but i think i will die if i give it to him. that is not an option for me. :-/

That's only if you are having a visible outbreak. People can pass herpes without showing any symptoms( a lot of people don't have any symptoms which is one reason it get spread around so easily, and so often). The virus can shed from your skin without you having a bumb, itching, tingling, anything. Also, women can have an outbreak on the inside of the vagina, and think that they are not experiening anything at the moment. All these things are why it is very important that (unless your partner is perfectly okay with contracting the virus knowing all the ways that can be possible), you should have protected sex.

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Devestated

La di da di da and Nosila.

One of my biggest concerns was not being able to have children without having them being born with herpes..? Is that true? I want to have kids hopefully one day but I wouldn't if that's the case. Any info on this subject would be appreciated :)

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BeOk

I love this post, it brought tears to my eyes. It is so wonderful and it gives me hope. I'm nearly 17.

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trollcitym
La di da di da and Nosila.

One of my biggest concerns was not being able to have children without having them being born with herpes..? Is that true? I want to have kids hopefully one day but I wouldn't if that's the case. Any info on this subject would be appreciated :)

If you contracted Herpes before becoming pregnant you mostly have nothing to worry about. The only thing that could go wrong is if you have an outbreak during giving birth, but even then chances are everything would be fine. Since you already have herpes, your body has build antibodies. Those antibodies get passed down to the baby, so the chances of the baby contracted herpes is extremely minimal. No real worries there.

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wineintheafternoon

Hey,

I have some questions from your post, if you don't mind!

You say "that first year was hell... i took meds and it blew my outbreak out of proportion... i never took meds again.. ". I was just diagnosed Wednesday (I'm 23, too!) and I believe it will come back form labs as HSV 1. I have heard all of this stuff about possibly not having many future outbreaks, but I want to know a more realistic version of what I might expect. Where your first year outbreaks the same as the first outbreak?

Second, how did you talk to the guy who gave it to you? What did you say? How did that conversation go?

Thanks for your reply! I really appreciate it!

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la di da di da
Hey,

I have some questions from your post, if you don't mind!

You say "that first year was hell... i took meds and it blew my outbreak out of proportion... i never took meds again.. ". I was just diagnosed Wednesday (I'm 23, too!) and I believe it will come back form labs as HSV 1. I have heard all of this stuff about possibly not having many future outbreaks, but I want to know a more realistic version of what I might expect. Where your first year outbreaks the same as the first outbreak?

Second, how did you talk to the guy who gave it to you? What did you say? How did that conversation go?

Thanks for your reply! I really appreciate it!

I haven't forgotten you guys!! <3

My first year of OB. Well, as it is so commonly said within the community.. the 1st.. is the worse. I had horrible lower and mid back pain, flu like symptoms, just a completely sick feeling. My actual OB was like a large horrible rash, my skin was really raw and um.. ugg... -.- you get the idea hopefully. It went away after a few days then came back two weeks later as a crap load of sores... then it went away a few days after... and then.. i started my meds and that shit blew up out of proportion.. so much so it covered my inner thighs and yea.. horrible. so I blamed the meds.. and well since then.. that was the last bad OB. I still get OB and depending on its location is what affects the pain level. sometimes it feels like nothing..2 sores that i forget about... then other times its my 1 sore from hell that hurts.

The guy that gave it to me.. well he denied giving it to me. that story is a rather.. um.. interesting one. after giving it to me and well we broke up.. he got a new girlfriend.. it was during the myspace age i contacted her and well.. hey we had something in common!! yea.. wasn't hard to figure out who it was at that point. plus I was 16... I thought the guy was not capable of it. I did notify the 2 people that I had sex with around that time for them to get tested and they were ok... thankfully they were nice and didn't freak out too much. lol. It was months later that the guy FINALLY admitted he had herpes.. but never said "I gave it to you..." God bless him.... :|

Still with hubby and our 2 1/2 yr old daughter.. hubby is still herpes free. Daughter is too.. i chose c section... im sorry but I wont even risk .000000001% if it means my daughter had a chance of contracting it. Also, I had an OB when my c section date came by... lol... out of all days. oh wells. they gave me the acyclovir by IV. It helped it out i guess. it didnt get crazy... like that other time.

Again.. <3 yourself.. and dont worry.. Hakunna Matataaaaaaaa

<3,

La Di Da Di Da

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NurseStudent89

It is nice to see other people being able to live their lives like "normal" people with herpes. I just found out I had it Christmas of 2010. I still don't know who gave it to me but even if I did it wouldn't go away. I had my first bad OB around Christmas of 2010 and just started my second one a few days ago. I thought maybe the doctors tested me wrong because I went so long without having one. But I was wrong. :( Oh well. Like you said love yourself and life goes on. Thanks for your post.

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allgoodinthehood

Hello. This is my first post on any forum ever. I have had herpes for 2 years now and its been quite a journey. I would get regular outbreaks, like 3 or 4 a month. I definitely went thorough a period of feeling pretty down about it, worrying that I'd never find anyone, thinking I was dirty and blah blah, you know the rest. Then one day I decided to start fighting it.

I bought lysine, lemon balm, vitamins. I stopped eating chocolate, drinking coffee, I completely changed my diet. I started seeing an acupuncturist who told me to quit all drugs and alcohol. I live a party life style and drugs were a big part of that. But I stopped... everything.

Life became amazing. I started to really find myself, learn who I am and be really and truly happy about that. I met a guy I liked and he took me away to the seaside. I told him there that I had herpes. He shrugged and said that was fine. I felt a huge wave of relief. The herpes was shrinking. Not necessarily physically but mentally. I realised what a small thing it really was.

Anyway... life goes on, we had a great time but broke up in the end. I had reached a place where my body was healthy, I could dabble in drugs but mostly just party all night completely sober and love it. I loved myself completely. And I accepted the herpes. But fundamentally I still wanted to beat it. I wanted it out of my life.

It's only recently that I've had my final epiphany and I feel like the journey has reached a significant point. I've just met someone else really nice. I told him about the herpes straight away. I just said it straight, no shame- "you should probably know I have herpes." Again I was met with a shrug. "condoms it is then?" Telling someone you have just met something so personal about yourself sets up the relationship really nicely I think. For a start it is a filter of anyone not worth your while. But also you have started off on such an honest note. If they accept your herpes and you, then you feel so much more comfortable with them instantly.

I realised the other day that I do not hate the herpes at all. I looked at all the things it had taught me. The people I had met through it, the things I had learnt about healing and health. How it had lead me to give up all drugs and to find out who I actually am. I felt so so good. I realised that if I was given the choice to go back in time two years and not sleep with that guy who gave it to me, I would still have done it. Getting herpes was the best thing that ever happened to me!!! I love it. I am not going to hate it anymore. I think that the body and the mind work in harmony, and if we hate our herpes we are going to suffer all the more for it.

My outbreaks are much better these days anyway, due to the work I have done on my health. I may always have the virus but I feel as if I am cured. I do not suffer anymore. I may even have outbreaks, but I know that they are there to teach me things, so I fully accept that.

I cannot tell you to love your herpes. It is a journey and you must go through all the hard bits so that you can look back and realise how much you have learnt. But I can suggest that you work towards loving it. Trust me, its the best feeling in the world! It's not there to make you suffer. If you approach it it the right way, like with anything in life, it's there to teach you things you need to learn.

ladidadida- it was nice to read your post :-) Glad there are others who have figured out how not to let this thing be your whole world. I just want to spread my message and hope other people can somehow benefit from that.

Top tips:

1. Tell as many people as you can. Every time you tell someone you are easing the burden, and realsiing that no-one cares or thinks any less of you for it. (and if they do then they obviously just have some stuff to figure out about life)

2. Eat healthy, stop drinking, drink cider vinegar- just treat your body with respect.

3. But don't stop having fun. Life is fun and there is no reason why herpes should put an end to that.

4. Watch this to understand the importance of mental state on the body http://www.documentarywire.com/living-matrix-science-of-healing

Everything IS gonna be alright!

WOOOOOO!!!!!

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CoriBelle
Pleaaaase people, if you are infected DO NOT have unprotected sex with someone who has genetal herpes. And people who are clean, please do not have unprotected sex with someone that does have it. My ex who has it didn't have an outbreak since 07. Dec of last year we had unprotected sex 4 times in the course of the whole time he has had herpes(he has had it since 06), 2 weeks ago I was tested. I am not positve for HSV 2.

You can catch it easily without symptoms. You can give it easily without symptoms. Unless you are married to someone...please don't put them at risk like that. It's immoral.

Wait, were you saying that you were not informed before you had sex with your ex??

If you were informed, then what's the problem?? You chose to be with him regardless.

If someone informs their partner and their partner accepts it, there is no immorality in *their choosing* to no longer use protection.

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  • The Hive is Thriving!

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  • Posts

    • MikeHerp
      Lol, a thousand guinea pigs.  I think you raise a good question (though it's a bit sad that a 1000 guinea pigs might have to die). But every every preclinical study I know, also uses a fairly small number of lab animals.  It's rarely more than a few dozen.  For example, the EDITAS proof of concept ocular herpes solution tested in 36 animals, of which some got placebo, and some got AAV with no editors.  So testing in only a handful of animals seems to be the norm.  So I wouldn't read into that caveat too much, if I were you.  But whether that vaccine can ever enter human trials, that I don't know.   Some things I've read seemed to suggest that ppl are kind of down on the idea of testing vaccines, on account of the failures.  I hope that's not the case.  
    • Bhbr2018
      Yeah @Lukeherpwalker I agree. Many people just see the igg tests and listen to random internet strangers about their results being from a childhood infection and on their mouth.  The fact is I got genital herpes because someone didn’t want to believe their HSV1 was genital when it was. Blood tests never can tell you location. Fact. Let’s deal with facts instead of highly unsupported opinions in the name of a life long virus shall we?
    • MikeHerp
      hi Imsu, No problem about the questions.  Sangamo is a research stage stem cell and gene editing company.  They currently are not researching HSV.  But they have a gene editing and stem cell stage 1/2 trials going on regarding HIV.  The gene editing solution they are using is zinc fingers. https://www.sangamo.com/pipeline/partnered-programs And no problem about your questions.  Feel free to also inbox me if you like and want to continue the conversation.  I'm not an expert, but I've done my research.  Cheers.  
    • Thats_Her
      I’m more than sure you got it from your current boyfriend. 5 days later and you have an outbreak in the anal where you did it for the first time. I had a vaginal outbreak 5 days after unprotected sex with my ex. I knew I was from him because of the negative tests I had during my outbreak. Unfortunately he was i denial about the situation and didn’t support me at all. Your boyfriend may not have been aware that he had it. And he may also lie about it if he finds out he actually does carry the virus. Hopefully he gets tested and things get sorted out for the both of you. 
    • Lukeherpwalker
      If you are having genital symptoms. . and test positive for hsv1 its very relevant. Op may indeed have ghsv1
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