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I just don't get it

depressed

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depressed Honeycomb Member

depressed

Posted
Posted

The stories of people contracting herpes where the person didn't know they had it (or maybe they did)...do u think it was contracted through asymptomatic shedding? Like the guy I got it from had no idea he had it and long story short it was him who gave it to me but if he's never had an outbreak then i probably got it through asymptomatic shedding right? I mean can you really not notice it? If that's the case then I feel like its so easy to pass on and what "clean" person wants to deal with that.

I feel so at a loss.

Its one thing to just have it in the genital region cause I don't just jump into bed with guys thus they will get to know me better and then i would tell them (obviously before sex). But lucky me has it in both regions (mouth and genitals) and i just...i...i can't believe i can't even kiss someone without having to tell them. And that would have to be early on cause who waits weeks to kiss someone??? To make matters worse, seeing as I have to tell the person early on then no guy is gonna stick around...nor do i blame them cause honestly i wouldn't either.

So basically i am screwed cause i am literally going to have be telling men from the GET GO and seeing as its not quite the turn on then i will be watching most of their backsides as they walk away. That's great!!! I mean not even a kiss... :( I feel like a goddamn leper. Guess I'll just keep taking my valtrex and get accustomed to a life of celibacy. Good times. I am only 29 and honestly I can't wait for old age and eventually dying cause a life all alone or of "hi, i would love to go out on a date but guess what I have both oral and genital herpes" is not appealing.

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Unbelievable Established Member

Unbelievable

Posted
Posted

it isn't that bad... men don't run... the first guy I met after I found out... stayed.... I think the key is... don't present it as a horrible thing... it is just part of you... be educated on what you can do to decrease the risk of passing it on.... an never let anyone make you feel like less because of it... the stronger you are... the better it will seem when you tell someone...

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fastforward Honeycomb Member

fastforward

Posted
Posted

I was just reading your words and see how depressed you are right now. Just want you to know that I've been right there with you since early January. Finally, I looked in the mirror one morning, and I saw the most depressed woman staring back. I thought, humm....I've got good family support, I'm on suppressive therapy, but I'm really not doing so hot with this diagnosis. So, I made an appointment and went in and spoke to my doctor who actually gave me fifteen minutes of his time. When I left with a prescription for Zoloft, it was the first time ever that I considered I might need more than just counselling or support. But, now in the second week of taking it, I swear I feel much more like "me" again. I know it hasn't changed my diagnosis or what I have to do going forward (thus, fastforward), but I'm more able to handle it without kicking myself in the butt everyday. So, you might want to think about it for yourself if things don't start looking more positive.

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Kbmmc Honeycomb Member

Kbmmc

Posted
Posted

I think everyone feels, or has felt like you at one point or another.

I didnt show symptoms of Herpes for about 6 months. Thankfully, I hadnt been with anyone since I contracted it, but I can see how easy it is spread. If I was with someone before I knew, I would have exposed them without even knowing it.

As for feeling like a leper, yep, I totally relate. I have told three guys early on. Two stayed and I actually eventually broke it off with them. The third unfortunatly, broke up with me yesterday. His roomates found out I had it, and were FREAKED out that somehow they could catch it from me. Anyway, they banned me from the house and caused a bunch of other problems for us. I guess it got to be too much for him to take trying to please everyone, so he broke it off for me.

As for relationships, I guess that is how things go. Some will not want to date you, some wont care. But being honest is the best thing you can do. and, telling people early on isnt always a bad thing. Ive seen dating ads for people that say "SWM/F WITH HERPES." For some, it just saves a bunch of time and heatache and keeps both parties from getting attached.

I think depression amoung us is common. I really wish they're were "STD anonymous groups" and weekly support meetings. I think I would deal with it better if I could physcially "see" that im not alone and talk to people.

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Unbelievable Established Member

Unbelievable

Posted
Posted

KB depending on where you are there should be support groups... just look online... I am so thankful that I have amazing people in my life that made this be not an issue.... find those people in yours.... you will feel much better....

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DQ4U Honeycomb Member

DQ4U

Posted
Posted

All the information you read states that after contracting you see symptoms within a week or so. It makes it so difficult to understand.

Anyhow sorry for the ramble. Check on line maybe there are some resources for herpes support groups.

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