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rojimmy

revenge on the one who gave it to you

95 posts in this topic

Curious how many people on here have these feelings? Has anyone ever attacked or hurt the one who has infected them with this incurable virus? I am a non-violent man and do not want to get in trouble for physically hurting someone although I am sure it would make me feel good and this person certainly deserves it. I was actually just thinking of imparting emotional damage and fear upon this scumbag that will hopefully follow them for the rest of their lives. The plan starts today.

luvurself16 and HinTX2012 like this

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As a person who recently gave my partner herpes I have to say you should rethink your violent urges. Unless they KNEW and maliciously intended to give it to you, revenge is a horrible way to think. I have the heaviest guilt ever. I love my partner more than anything and to know I gave it to her kills me hourly. I have HSV 1 and have had it since I was a child, I gave it to her through a viral shedding episode. I didn't even know I could do this! My doctor told me (when I was tested for std's originally) that this could only be spread if I had a cold sore. So, I was completely ignorant of the hell I could wreak. Do you know how lucky I feel that she even still wants to be with me? Do you know how horrible and disgusting I feel knowing that I did this? Do you know that I would take it all back... reverse time if I could? So, emotional damage and fear is probably a part of this "scumbag"'s life Already. Just telling them might be revenge enough.

ladyrampant, HinTX2012 and kamila like this

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I feel slight anger sometimes towards my giver but no-body forced me to have unprotected sex with him. I would never take any kind of revenge on him as what is done is done. I may of unknowingly gave this to some partners after being mis diagnosed by my GP. I feel so bad when I see these people but as it 7+ years since any contact with them have not mentioned my diagnosis. Cowadish maybe, but I live in a small town and am now happily married with 3 children and would rather not have to deal with all the gossip that I'm sure would go along with it. Try not to feel so angry. Do you know your giver knew they had it? Somebody has to be a very bad person to knowingl pass this on to someone.

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I dream of stabbing the hideous piece of shit in the face about a million times--with a rusty meat hook--if i ever see him again. Just a fantasy but it makes me feel slightly better every time I think of it.

HinTX2012, SoCe and luvurself16 like this

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The best revenge against anything is to live your own life as happily as you can. I understand being upset - but I'd rather get herpes from someone than sit around thinking about hurting people.

The *plan* you begin today should be a journey to get some help to deal with these issues so that you can go back to living your life and thinking about your positive goals. Revenge might feel good for a few minutes, but stop and think about what you are really accomplishing. Think about your life in the long term, not anyone elses. Your energy would be better used making your life more positive!

pollyanna1 and SnowAngel like this

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Actually no, that thought has never crossed my mind. Why would I want to hurt someone for giving me a virus that causes me to have a very managable skin condition? Perhaps you should stop and think about little children with cancer, those who are paralyzed from an accident, soldiers in the war who are losing limbs, those with an incurable mental disorder. I guarantee they would trade places with you in a heartbeat. Count your blessings for all the good in your life. It could always be so much worse.

Rose2 likes this

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I'd say that "yeah" the thought has crossed my mind simply becuz the fool tried to blame the ish on me, when in reality he was lying and doing shady things that clearly points the finger at him. However, I chill out and realize that the fool has it too and will be doomed with this crap just like I will for life, even though he was able to live a little by having a kid and getting married before all of this H stuff. At the end of the day, it is what it is and I'm soo much better than him and this H thing.

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The best revenge against anything is to live your own life as happily as you can. I understand being upset - but I'd rather get herpes from someone than sit around thinking about hurting people.

The *plan* you begin today should be a journey to get some help to deal with these issues so that you can go back to living your life and thinking about your positive goals. Revenge might feel good for a few minutes, but stop and think about what you are really accomplishing. Think about your life in the long term, not anyone elses. Your energy would be better used making your life more positive!

Yes I know you are correct and I AM trying to take control of this and live my life. But the quote "but I'd rather get herpes from someone than sit around thinking about hurting people" is totally ridiculous and I can't agree with that one little bit. I will not hurt this person physically although I may fuck with them mentally.

Officefan--gotta have a fantasy;) and if it makes you feel better than good.

luvurself16 likes this

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Even if this person gave you herpes intentionally, spending your time trying to mess with them mentally or harm them takes you down to their level. I hope that you start to feel better about this diagnosis soon, and are able to heal emotionally. My best, most positive thoughts are with you!

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My thoughts on this are: you don't have to forgive them, especially if they are not asking for forgiveness (in that case you can't forgive them,) but actual physical harm is illegal, and will be heavily punished if premeditated.

We live in a very litigious society. Tread carefully.

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your both so right and i will never jeopardize my life or my child's for this asshole

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I had alot of white hot anger in me for a very very long time. I wanted my giver to die a horrible death, I wanted him to catch AIDS as punishment. I wanted to push him infront of the train at the train station that we both stand at.

I had never ever ever had these feelings come into my mind ever before in my entire life. Part of me wanted to do this to him because I KNEW he willingly gave me this virus, and while it takes two to tango, I know that if he had told me he had it, I wouldn't be in this situation. But the fact of the matter is, he DIDN'T tell me, and quite honestly, he walks around all high and mighty. He's the worlds biggest scumbag and I wished the entire female population would know it. I honestly don't think he has a remorseful bone in his body, because he's not sorry for what he did to me.

But really - I should be ashamed of myself. I was not raised to think this way, and they are very dirty destructive thoughts, that really should have NO PLACE in my mind.

But the person I am angry at THE MOST is myself. But I've been able to work on that anger and start to forgive myself. And I wanted to kill myself in the beginning for a very long time. The guilt of passing this on to a loved one is IMMEASURABLE. Regardless if they wanted to assume the risk or not. That alone made me not want to live. It made nothing else I had ever accomplished in my life not even matter. This is what started to fuel my anger towards my giver even more. It was a vicious circle.

But I continue to pray and ask God to give me strength and forgiveness because I know I am a good person and I didn't deserve this.

Mellisuga and HinTX2012 like this

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I had alot of white hot anger in me for a very very long time. I wanted my giver to die a horrible death, I wanted him to catch AIDS as punishment. I wanted to push him infront of the train at the train station that we both stand at.

I had never ever ever had these feelings come into my mind ever before in my entire life. Part of me wanted to do this to him because I KNEW he willingly gave me this virus, and while it takes two to tango, I know that if he had told me he had it, I wouldn't be in this situation. But the fact of the matter is, he DIDN'T tell me, and quite honestly, he walks around all high and mighty. He's the worlds biggest scumbag and I wished the entire female population would know it. I honestly don't think he has a remorseful bone in his body, because he's not sorry for what he did to me.

But really - I should be ashamed of myself. I was not raised to think this way, and they are very dirty destructive thoughts, that really should have NO PLACE in my mind.

But the person I am angry at THE MOST is myself. But I've been able to work on that anger and start to forgive myself. And I wanted to kill myself in the beginning for a very long time. The guilt of passing this on to a loved one is IMMEASURABLE. Regardless if they wanted to assume the risk or not. That alone made me not want to live. It made nothing else I had ever accomplished in my life not even matter. This is what started to fuel my anger towards my giver even more. It was a vicious circle.

But I continue to pray and ask God to give me strength and forgiveness because I know I am a good person and I didn't deserve this.

Oy oy oy Kitty. Why do some people deal with this so well and others do not? My daughter has minor cold sores and she did not get them from me as I do not have oral hsv. She asked me how you get them. I explained it to her so she understands that this type is spread through kissing and its very common and something she should not be ashamed of. She walked away with her head held high. I am so proud of that kid. Please let that be the worse thing she gets.

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@lifestillfeelsgood:

I am alot better now than I was before. Its like night and day. I realize I cannot be bothered to waste all my energy on someone who doesn't deserve it anyway.

My take on it is - KARMA will get him. And it always does :)

luvurself16 likes this

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The feelings are natural to anyone who valued their quality of life.

HinTX2012 likes this

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No...never have I wanted to take out "revenge" on my giver. Anger and hate are nasty, negative engergy is a waste. I try not to think about him at all. When I do think about him, I think someone gave this to him too, someone, didn't tell him they were positive or they didn't know either.

I don't believe he knew he was HSV+ and what if he did know?? I made the decision, I took the risk. At the end of the day I blame myself.

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No...never have I wanted to take out "revenge" on my giver. Anger and hate are nasty, negative engergy is a waste. I try not to think about him at all. When I do think about him, I think someone gave this to him too, someone, didn't tell him they were positive or they didn't know either.

I don't believe he knew he was HSV+ and what if he did know?? I made the decision, I took the risk. At the end of the day I blame myself.

Exactly!!!

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I want the worse thing to my giver and i want him not just die but suffer every single second from the worse diseases in this world !!!!!!!! he knew he had it and he gave it to me!!!!!!! the night when i told him would you like some wine he said no i donot drink wine anymore !!!!!!!!!!!!! i was shocked he used to love red wine !!!!!!!! then i told him by the way you lost so much weight and he said oh that is why you weren't interested on me !!!! and so on oh GOD I WISH I KNEW PEOPLE GET HERPES THEY DO NOT DRINK THEY CAN NOT HAVE SWEETS AND SO ON i would get some clue but me i never even get pimple in my skin so no clue GOD NO CLUE ....... i want him to suffer and i crust him every single day i do from bottom of my heart anytime i have pain and i get ache and i think i am going to be single for ever and tears comes from my eyes like a falls i crust him shame of him ............. he is animal ....................GOD SHOW ME HE IS SUFFERING.......

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Don't ever pray to God to ask for another one's suffering. It will never happen. The only suffering that will happen is to you. "Do unto others as you would do unto yourself". Get it?

Its ok to be mad to want to seek revenge, but do it as a thought, not as an action. Once its out of your system and you learn to live with having Herpes.....move on.

Trust me honey, I had ALOT of white hot anger. So much that it CHANGED MY PERSONALITY. I got rid of that habit real quick.

Herpes is NOT going to change the loving person I am, and nor is an inconsiderate scum of the earth either.

Every dog has its day. ITS TRUE.

((HUGS TO YOU TO HEAL YOUR HURT))

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As a person who recently gave my partner herpes I have to say you should rethink your violent urges. Unless they KNEW and maliciously intended to give it to you, revenge is a horrible way to think. I have the heaviest guilt ever. I love my partner more than anything and to know I gave it to her kills me hourly. I have HSV 1 and have had it since I was a child, I gave it to her through a viral shedding episode. I didn't even know I could do this! My doctor told me (when I was tested for std's originally) that this could only be spread if I had a cold sore. So, I was completely ignorant of the hell I could wreak. Do you know how lucky I feel that she even still wants to be with me? Do you know how horrible and disgusting I feel knowing that I did this? Do you know that I would take it all back... reverse time if I could? So, emotional damage and fear is probably a part of this "scumbag"'s life Already. Just telling them might be revenge enough.

I agree with this. I caught genital hsv-1 this way, from my boyfriend, who'd had oral herpes since childhood. He was told he could only spread it when he had a cold sore, but I caught it when he was "in between" sores. I was devastated, but so was he. He felt tortured by guilt, and even though he is now my ex, I know that he still feels horrifically guilty for giving it to me because he can never change it - and he would if he could, even though he just didn't know he could transmit it in between cold sores.

I have NEVER blamed him. Why not? For these reasons:

1) In his case, he didn't KNOW he could transmit it and thought he was taking all the care necessary. It wasn't intentional.

2) Because I loved him and knew he loved me - and I could see how cut up he was. How could I blame him?

3) Because I think each of us has to take responsibility for our OWN sexual health. I should have educated myself enough to know that there was a risk. I shouldn't have thought that it would never happen to me. If I'd caught it in another way, I'd still lay a fair amount of blame at my own door. That is life. Why would you trust someone else with your own sexual health? You should know that having sex is always a risk.

- Most people do not know they have it. I can't blame ignorance or someone who just didn't know.

- Those that do know and don't tell are fighting their own battle with the stigma. People are human.

- And if they do know and don't tell you, they are probably just avoiding conflict/afraid of judgement/of losing you. Only one in a million people with herpes actually knows it and SETS OUT to infect someone. It isn't deliberate, and done with intent.

Yes, anger is natural. I felt angry, though not with my boyfriend - with myself, with life. But that passes. Revenge is not a healthy desire, you only really destroy yourself.

Just my thoughts.

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- And if they do know and don't tell you, they are probably just avoiding conflict/afraid of judgement/of losing you. Only one in a million people with herpes actually knows it and SETS OUT to infect someone. It isn't deliberate, and done with intent.

But someone who knows they have Herpes, and really PRESSES that they are 'clear' of STD's, and shows you a negative STD panel, but the afterwards presses for sex 'without a condom', but you insist on one anyway, but goes limp before sex, and then tells you afterwards, "Oh, by the way, I know we spooned and kind of rubbed genitals after sex but I had a bump 3 years ago, and the doctor stated it was HPV"....and only come to find that he completely DENIED having HSV?

MY giver blatently LIED to me. He had NO regard for my health or well-being. How can someone be so scared of rejection so much so that they can't even man up to giving you an incurable disease EVEN with using a condom? But REALLY didn't mind SPOONING me and rubbing my genitals with his? How was I to know that I was being irresponsible? he showed me a CLEAR bill of health all the while knowing he had HSV!!

HE DIDN'T GIVE A S***T. It has nothing to do with 'being afraid of rejection'. Tons of people get rejected every single day for so many different reasons.

That doesn't mean he had the right to infect me as well and then run for the hills and hide because he was a coward for doing so.

I would love to seek revenge. But what gives me satisfaction is his cowardly actions. His actions say so much more than he could ever say.

Karma always is good to those who are good, and bad to those who are bad.

If you REALLY AND TRULY LOVE OR CARE FOR SOMEONE, you are NOT going to put them in harms way or do something to them or GIVE THEM AN INCURABLE STD WITHOUT TELLING THEM YOU HAVE ONE because - well, you just want to get laid and don't want to be rejected.

I don't care what anyone says.

HinTX2012 likes this

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and i'm not angry at your post or YOU....

I just get really fired up when I hear people say, "I'm sure he didn't want to get rejected"...

Which means that I have to risk now getting rejected and hurt by others because some absolute f**khead didn't want to give me the option to make a choice.

So yeah. Would I love revenge? I sure would.

Is it worth it? It sure isn't.

luvurself16 likes this

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But someone who knows they have Herpes, and really PRESSES that they are 'clear' of STD's, and shows you a negative STD panel, but the afterwards presses for sex 'without a condom', but you insist on one anyway, but goes limp before sex, and then tells you afterwards, "Oh, by the way, I know we spooned and kind of rubbed genitals after sex but I had a bump 3 years ago, and the doctor stated it was HPV"....and only come to find that he completely DENIED having HSV?

MY giver blatently LIED to me. He had NO regard for my health or well-being. How can someone be so scared of rejection so much so that they can't even man up to giving you an incurable disease EVEN with using a condom? But REALLY didn't mind SPOONING me and rubbing my genitals with his? How was I to know that I was being irresponsible? he showed me a CLEAR bill of health all the while knowing he had HSV!!

HE DIDN'T GIVE A S***T. It has nothing to do with 'being afraid of rejection'. Tons of people get rejected every single day for so many different reasons.

That doesn't mean he had the right to infect me as well and then run for the hills and hide because he was a coward for doing so.

I would love to seek revenge. But what gives me satisfaction is his cowardly actions. His actions say so much more than he could ever say.

Karma always is good to those who are good, and bad to those who are bad.

If you REALLY AND TRULY LOVE OR CARE FOR SOMEONE, you are NOT going to put them in harms way or do something to them or GIVE THEM AN INCURABLE STD WITHOUT TELLING THEM YOU HAVE ONE because - well, you just want to get laid and don't want to be rejected.

I don't care what anyone says.

Yes someone who knows that at some point in life they have had 'problems' down there or even just cold sores on their lips and are not taking any meds to prevent transmitting and are unprotected by condoms are beyond reproach and have ruined many more lives then most people like to think. If they do not mention this fact to you esp. after repeated concerns by yourself and go as far to show a fake or incomplete std test panel there is nothing cruel enough that can happen to them. Hopefully they suffer pain that is 100's of times greater than ours weather from this horrible virus or something much worse.

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My doctor actually said that Herpes is not easy to catch, and if my giver had the virus for as long as he 'said' he did, my chances of catching it if he wasn't having any symptoms or even so much as a visible outbreak where slim.

But oh yeah. He wanted a pitch black room, no candles or even a lamp on. I even asked him! And he said, "It'll be fun where we just feel around and try to find each others body parts!" - STUPID ME I FK'N FELL FOR THAT!

THERE *ARE* people who just don't give a shit. They are the ones who are in DENIAL, and have no regard for others.

I will never do that to another human being. Even if I am rejected 100 times for the rest of my life. I will never withold my status to anyone that I feel I will be intimate with. In my current situation, it doesn't apply. But if it comes down to my fiancee and I going our separate ways for whatever reason, I will always disclose.

Heck, I have Epilepsy. There's a stigma attached to that too! It's not contagious, but alot of people don't like to have to see someone convulsing on the floor with foam coming out of their mouths either, but I still tell them! Because they NEED to know, so they can be PREPARED on what to expect!!!!!!

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I agree with you kitty ,

Like mine absolutely he knew it and he did not tell me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really get fired up when he told me i know you are not into casual things and i know you are so freaking picky !! how f***king person can say such things and rub him self to me and worse than everything push me go down ................ whatever people say i don't care? i know who I am ....he was careless ........about my health I am sure he did to many women !!after 10 days when i got symptoms i asked him do you have anything ?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he said NO!! i checked myself last year and i am fine ...then he said maybe herpes but nothing else !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i remember those words i want the worse thing for him!! !!!!!!!!!!!!! he runied my health my life It is easy for people have partner to release their emotional and go through it together .....

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