Ok I have never talked about this to anybody.

[SickOfIgnoringIt]

I first got a sore back in the fall of 2002. it was HORRIBLE because it was right inside my vaginal opening. It was the largest and worse one I've ever had. i had only had sex with one person during the last 3 months before that .... and he says he never had a sore. That is still the case 3 years later for him. Well, lucky him.

I went to the doctor and had the sore tested and it came out negative. They did tell me that even though it says negative that it could still be herpes. They gave me some pills (don't remember what they are) and it went away in about 2 weeks.

I have fairly long stretches between ... i don't really refer to them as outbreaks. Once in a while I'll get an itsy bitsy little sore under the skin ... that doesn't really even blister .. it's just a little itchy and sore and then goes away in a few days.

I have never been diagnosed with this, i think that is why it's difficult for me to deal with. I had no issues (thank god) when I was pregnant.

It's weird cuz we had sex anyway even after I told him I thought he gave it to me ... and he never got it from me, obviously, either. Does that mean maybe it's not herpes? Maybe it's something else? Because I usually get a small sore during my period ... or right after I shave. I used to think they were ingrown hairs or irritation from shaving .... but I'm just confused. Since I've never been diagnosed w/it it's hard for me to figure things out for myself.

None of my sores ever get "crusty". This one that I have now ... when I pat it dry after I go to the bathroom ... does seem to have a little "stickiness" to it .... kinda like a scab on your arm right before it scabs. This has never happened before. I figure the itchiness just means it's healing, right? I have also noticed that if I scratch myself while, inserting a tampon, for example ... I'll get a sore there a day or two later. Coudl this mean that it's not herpes that I just have a sensitive genitalia area or something that doesn't respond well to small "injuries" and reacts in a way that "mimicks" herpes? Cuz wouldn't my ex have gotten herpes if that's what I had? I've been with about 3 or 4 people .... embarassingly .... since then ... never told them about herpes ... i know that is stupid and I feel horrible but nobody ever told me they had it .... but i never had sex during an outbreak except for with my ex who i thought gave it to me so it was "ok" ... plus he wanted to anyway even after I told him. And he knew the sore was there then. Confusing. Anyway ...

I have noticed that around my period is when I get the sores. Sometimes are worse than others, but I don't think I've had more than 5 or 6 in the last 3 years. Now I get one that is actually blistering (It's been about 5 days since the first sign of it) ... and my boyfriend gets out jail tomorrow! (DUI related) --- what the hell?!?! I guess i should be used to that kind of luck by now, huh?!

Anyway ... I was actually introduced to him through his sister since he's been in there. I have never said anythign to him about this. Since so much time goes by in between lesions I figured that I "got lucky" and it went away. yeah I guess i'm pretty naieve sometimes. okay a lot. Okay extremely. I get the point.

Anyway .... my first questtion is .... is there any way to speed up the healing process? I read that it is good to keep it clean & dry ... and blow dry it with the setting on cool after a shower, etc ... so since air is good for it woudl it be okay for me to let air run onto me for a while? Like with the air from my air filter in my room or something? Will drinking a lot of water help?

Second question ... is there any way to keep the sore from really "becoming a sore" once you notice the little bump?

Third question ... How the hell do I talk to my boyfriend about this?! I don't even know for sure how I got it, or who I got it from! It's not something you want to start a relationship off with ... then when you grow close, it's not something you want to say because you don't want to RUIN the relationship with it!!! What the hell how do i deal with this?

Thanks in advance.

~B~

[fastforward]

B,

Go to your doctor or Planned Parenthood or the local clinic and request a Herpes Select IgG Test - Specific for HSV-1 and Specific for HSV-2. When you have your results, if it is positive for either/or, you need to ask you BF to take the test as well. 90% of those who carry HSV-2 genital herpes don't have symptoms (or at least any symptoms they recognize). I would be willing to place a bet that he has it too - probably carried it to you, but not necessarily. Keeping this to yourself is doing nothing but fueling guilt, and that's a crappy way to live. Get this out in the open but insist that he get tested. If he's negative, there are things you can do to protect him. Download or read online The Herpes Handbook at:

http://www.westoverheights.com. Lots of good stuff there for you to know about and him too.

I hope he will be forgiving and understanding, and I hope you work this out soon. The longer it goes, the greater the chance he will blame you. Honesty is always the best policy. He may be angry at first, but if he loves you, he will forgive and move forward.

Good luck!!

Let us know how it goes.