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coping with the news with a Non-H partner

lady

By lady
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lady Honeycomb Member

lady

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Can anyone please give me any advice as to what they said or how they dealth with a Non-H partner who is dealing with the fears of possibly being infected by you. To make a long story short. I was recently diagnosed (via blood test) with HSVII. Based on the symptons I believe that I was infected about 9 years ago. I recently told the person I'm dealing with my situation. While he has been very supportive, we are constantly dealing with his fear of being infected during a time of shedding ( I have not had an outbreak in years). He is very concerned even about simply touching my genitals (when an OB is not present). Since, being advised of my diagnosis we have had intercourse (for the first time) and used the following precautions:Condoms, allowed him to wear his boxers, and I am taking supressive daily meds. However, he is still very uneasy about the entire situation. While I definitly don't want to give him the false impression that everything is ok & that I am not contagious. Is there anything that I can do/say to help him feel a lil more comfortable with the situation at hand. Or is this just a comfort that will have to develop over time?

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ouch Platinum Support Member

ouch

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I am no expert by any means, but I would say just be patient with him, as he is dealing with it too and overcoming his own fears. Condoms are not foolproof, but for sure they help, so keep using them. If you are taking suppressive meds, then that will also help lessen HIS chance of contracting HSV from you. Make sure you are eating well, and taking vitamins, so those little buggers stay nice and hidden somewhere in the spinal column like it should! :wink:

Perhaps for foreplay and oral, you might consider latex gloves and dental dam. Sounds crazy I know, but something to consider. Otherwise, after intimacy, just be as clean and hygenic as possible. ( I mean, we should ALL be this way as it is, but we should be doubly so since we have the H). Apparently, Herpes HATES soap and water....so.....shower up! Together! :D

I hope this helps a little bit. If it is any consolation, my man and I practice safe, but we have had unprotected sex when I was 99% sure I was NOT having an outbreak. He still does NOT have the virus (and I hope he never does!) Naturally, everyone is different, and I wouldn't risk it, but let your fella know this and again, be patient with him.

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