First post.. i am so sad ...

[sadman]

I just found the blisters this morning , went to the doctor and he said its genetalis herpes ... he gave me Zelitrex 500mg 2 a day for five days. I have never had this before , i know who i got it from and i am very angry with this person for not telling me , when i call to talk about the phone is just hung up...

I am indeed a sad man , i also got chlamidia from this one night stand .. so i was very unlucky , i have spent several days at home now because of severe pain when urinating, influenza symptoms, my ass and legs even hurt, i have a fever too...

I really dont want to live any more i lost the will to do so. I have no one to talk to about this.

I fell that my life is over now because i will have herpes for the rest of my life. What will i tell my future partners ... ? ooohh this is a true nightmare for me, i cant deal with it , i feel lost and alone and dirty...

I also have a problem with my stomach acid wich gives me a sore throat and this is getting worse because i worry so much now , also worry and stress is not good when you have herpes i have read.

How will i ever be able to live with this. This morning when i saw the blisters for the first time i knew right away what it was , but i looked it up on google and saw pictures , yes i have it ... i cried alot , and felt very sad, i took a ride in my car and felt like nothing mattered anymore... the sun was out but my mind made a shadow view of the nice sceanery.

I have been fighting to get out of a depression and suicidal tendensees.... i fought and i won , i got two jobs now and things where going so well for me , i dont know how i managed to fight but i did , and now i get slapped in the face with this, its so not part of my plan , i feel like its all been for nothing now.

I had a massive marihuana absuse but i stopped that too , i stopped it just like taht one day to the next and have not smoked any since... i got a new education , i got a job and then a second job , i started to feel happy for the first time in a really long time , and now this ! its just too much for me to handle on my own ....

Now i feel like crying again .... im sorry to be writing all this but i need to get it out ... i cant do this alone , i feel so sad inside....

-SADMAN-

[bapha]

Sadman...your story is unfortunately familiar. I felt very much the same way when I found out I have herpes. I was living in a foreign country with limited resources, away from my close family and friends. I felt I had no one to turn to. Needing someone to talk to, I turned to my friends here, who I had only known for a few months, and they were amazingly supportive. This site is also a great support. There is hope, Sadman. It's one year later, and I feel pretty good about myself. I still have bad days, but the good far outnumber the bad. I focussed on self-improvement (I go to the gym five days a week, I write in my journal constantly, I read more, I go out and dance more, and I drink less) which really got me through my depression. Don't lose hope, you're not alone.

[sadman]

Its back

Hello , its back and im back.

As you can see its been away very long, i was sure i did not really have it and had almost forgot all about it.

Then one day about a week ago i got this tingle feeling the day after the first small blisters appear.

I went to the doctor that same day to get some meds, i was given the same meds as the first outbreak and same dose.

Im now on the fourth day og the treatment, its gone away abit already but its startet to hurt alot now, the blisters are gone but it really hurts alot now, i cant really remember so please can someone tell if this is normal.

I just read my first post again, and i startet crying when i got to the last parts.

I am really sad now, i have questions like did i really have it the first time or did i really get it this time , is it normal that there can be so long between outbreaks ?

I am truly the sadman again, please respond it will mean alot to me , you are the only people in the world i share this with.

[starphyse]

All is not lost sadman. I don't have herpes myself my girlfriend does and we have been dating and having sex for a few weeks now. Love can find anyone even with herpes. As far as how you got it alot of people don't even realize they have it. You will feel better after your first year of having it the symptoms become less and less over time.

There are alot of vitamin's you can take to help yourself too and supressive meds help with passing it to others as well as condoms.

If you need anything feel free to post all of us are here to help

[sadman]

Thank you very much for the reply, any reply really helps alot.

Please look at the date of my first post it was may 2006 !!!

Now nearly one and a half years later i post again.

I would like it if someone could please be kind enough to answer my questions in the previous post.

You will have to excuse the writing as im from denmark.

[Lonnidet]

I first want to say hopefully it will always be 1.5 years in between your OBs! Many people on this board experience them much more frequently. Is it unusual? Given the fact that most people don't even know they have HSV it is probably not that unusual to go that long or even much longer between OBs.

I'm very glad to see you are hanging in there after your first post was so sad. Also glad you were able to move on and put HSV to the back of your mind in that period of time. It is to be expected that you will experience repeat of emotions that you had initially during a recurrence.

Take care of yourself....

[25years&stillgoing]

Sadman,

I just found this website today and couldn't decide whether to join but then I read your post and it touched my heart. I'm so sorry for your grief but I can tell you that after having this for 25 years, it does get better. I am amazed at the wonderful people who post on this site; they express real care and concern for fellow suffers.

As to your question about length of time between outbreaks, I can go for a year or more and then have a couple back to back. I believe it just depends on my stress level, whether I'm eating too much oatmeal or black licorice (sounds weird but seems to have some affect), and activity level. As I said, this is my 25th year of having it and I've just started confiding in friends. It's taken me this long to get over the stigma. I married the person who gave it to me (and I believe him when he says he didn't know) and I have 2 almost-grown children. So much of my life has been spent thinking, "What if I hadn't gotten this horrible condition?" but I know I've been lucky that it has worked out as well as it has.

All of this to say that I do understand your depression and hopelessness. I considered suicide at first but then decided to make the best of it. There are still days when I get so angry and can't understand why this had to happen to me but they get fewer and farther between. Please know that so many of us are holding you in our hearts and wish we could take some of your pain away.

[ONtrialFEM]

Try IT.!

It took awhile to find it, but there was a study done in the 90's on mice, that using Famciclovir, instead of valtrex during the first out break, can help remove more latevt (dormant) virus. U see u have 10 days or so before the 1st time after an acute (so be sure it is a 1st outbreak) OB, then the virus will travel to the nerve ganglion for the 1st time. See I was trated w/ acyclovir, wack!!! This study came out a while back. I just wish I would of known, and maybe it could of made a difference.

[sadman]

Its only been 7 months and now its back , so im also back.

Its a bad outbreak, i saw i first time yesterday and went to the pharmacy rigth away to start on Zelitrex® (valaciclovirhydrochlori) Its the same med i have taken for every OB since the first in 2006.

This time i have many blisters and they are big and it hurts alot.

What can i do for the OB to go away quicker ?

I feel veryu depressed and have not been eating or sleeping right, i have lost my job and startet another job where i work 10-14 hours at night, i know this is the reason for my OB and i will stop this job as soon as i can because my body can not handle the strees of working at night and slleping all day, its not a life for me.

Please respond as it really helps me alot in dealing with with OB , i feel very alone and depressed as i have done with the other outbreaks.

Please give info on whether or not the med i am taking is the best and what i can do to help my body battle this OB.

Cost og treatment is not an issue , i would really give everything i own if i never had another out break...

[ScaredButDetermined]

Hey there! I'm not sure how much support I'll be because I don't know sure facts and I don't want to tell you anything that is wrong. I got my positive results back last Friday. So, I'll have to leave the medicine advice and stuff to someone else. I really just wanted to post on here because I wanted to tell you that you aren't alone! I know how you feel about that pain and such from an OB! When you need to talk, we are all here!

[chay5]

Hi Sadman,

if you have 7 months between outbreaks, it's not so bad and you are more lucky than many of us. 7 months is a long time. With 7 months between OBs, you can have almost normal relationship. Imagine if you had an outbreak every month? This could be hard to deal with.

If you would like to eliminate outbreaks completely, you can try to do it by eating the right foods. They say that so called alkaline foods (click on the link to the right) can help eliminate herpes and strengthen immunity. They will also make anybody more healthy, since alkaline foods are mostly fresh or cooked vegetables and fruit - no processed or junk foods. There were some testiminials here about how such a diet eliminated herpes outbreaks for some people. I have been trying it seriously for about two weeks and I feel so much better! I have also lost some weight as a result and that's nice, too. Although I have to say it's very hard for me to start the day without a cup of coffee. Funny how we become what we eat. Someone else here said the she is not going to give up her oatmeal even if it causes outbreaks! I so much understand this, and yet, now I decided I have to become more reasonable and less emotional about my decisions. Anyway, Mr Sadman, I wish you all the best and let us know how you are doing.

[Lifeislife]

What type do you have? Type 1 or Type 2? I have genital Type 1. I have been taking Valtrex as suppressive therapy, meaning I take a pill every day and it keeps away outbreaks and lessens the chance of spreading it.

For me this has worked out well. I've only had one real outbreak in three years (after the first). I've had tingling burning sensations that never became outbreaks and I guess what you would call "minor" outbreaks where the sore never opened up or became painful and did not last long.

I am thinking about turning to something natural, but I'm not sure yet. I haven't had any side effects from the Valtrex. Others have had terrible ones, so it would be up to you to decide. If you are on a medicine anyways, wouldn't hurt to try a different one. But like they are saying, one out break every 7 months is not bad and they may become less the longer you have this.

My GH is not a bad case, compared to others, though.

I read your posts for the first time tonight and my heart goes out to you. Of all you have been through, don't let this take you down. Many here are living happy lives and are with people who don't have it with no problems.

[sadman]

Thank you all so much for your replies and kind words it really helps me alot to get response from other people.

I dont know which type i have as i have never been testet, my doctor just looked at it the first time and said it was herpes and gave me Zelitrex treatment.

I thought this OB would be bad and it was bad for me emotionelly but today the blister are all gone and nothing but a little swelling is to be seen the pain is also gone. I guess this Zelitrex stuff really does the job, i have been extremely tired tough and i can feel that my body is working had to fight the virus.

I will eat a good healty meal tonight and go to bed early after taking my Zelitrex 500mg tablet.

I know 7 months is a long time and i also know that i could have gone longer if i had not stresset my body so much from working long night shifts and not eating right and sleeping too little.

I guess i really am learning to live with this after a few years, but i still get very sad and depressed when i get an OB.

Thank you so much for your support it really means the world to me to be able to go to this forum for shelter.

I hope you will excuse the spelling, i dont use english all that often anymore as i live in denmark.

[cripesIHaveIT]

Im new to herpes but just wanted to say never ever give up hope

[upset1]

Sadman

You will learn to live with it in time. We have to. I think bad things in this life make us stronger. When I look at friends who are dying from cancer or something else, I realise as crazy as it is I am lucky. I worry all the time about infecting my wife, but hopefully I won't.

Feel better my friend.

Upset1

[gotitsowhat]

Sorry you're going through this

We all know the pain, the despair of having this illness.

There are a couple of hopeful things I can tell you. Maybe they will help you to cheer up.

The first is that, over time, most sufferers experience less severe outbreaks. And psychologically, they find ways to cope, to make the despair go away. In other words, things will get better for you if you hang in there. Read all of the posts here under the heading of what the posters have learned from having herpes. Many people believe they've gotten stronger, taken better care of their health, learned to stand up to the social stigma and are now much happier than they were at the early stages of their diagnosis. So, right now, your job is to hang in there and believe it WILL get better with time.

The second thing is that science is on the verge of discovering a vaccine for this virus. It won't be a cure--that will be take much, much longer-- but a vaccine will make it possible for people to avoid catching it and so the social stigma will disappear. This is probably only a few years away.

Maybe I can mention a third thing and that is this website. There are some terrific people here who will be very glad to offer support. We all do know how bad you feel and what you're going through.

I felt so much despair myself when I was first diagnosed that I hid from all social contact for ten years! I am now more embarrassed about that than I am about having herpes. I can't believe I withdrew from life for that long. I, too, felt I had no one to talk to about it. Since I "came out of the closet" about herpes, I have told all of my close friends about it and they have been wonderful in offering support and some very good advice. I have begun to live again, have made some new friends and, if age, my overweight body and luck don't prevent me, I will start to date again. I am no longer willing to let herpes dictate my mood or my way of life. On some days, I am still angry at the guy who lied to me and gave it to me (he's dead now so I can't kill him), and I still feel depressed about having herpes. But I am fighting my way back to life at the age of 63 and it feels pretty good most of the time.

I hope you will have the sense not to behave as I did, not to hide and avoid social contact and dating, not to cave in to feeling like a victim of a stupid social stigma. The less time you spend feeling bad, the more time will be left for feeling good.

If nothing else, remember that there are herpes dating websites. About one in five people have this miserable little virus. That means there are a huge number of people who have it just like you do. And some of them might like to meet you if you gave them a chance.

Don't hide and do anything that would be self-destructive. Take care of yourself and find a way to LIVE with this virus instead of just existing.

[dnd3d]

I really dont want to live any more i lost the will to do so.

I have been fighting to get out of a depression and suicidal tendensees....

This is an old thread but I thought I'd put in my two quarters.

Suicide is the easy way out. I will admit being depressed and I've half ass thought of suicide. Reason why I say half ass, is because I'm too stubborn, too competitive, and I'm too much of a a sore loser to let some piss ass virus make me kill myself.

Staying positive and getting through the beginning of knowing you have herpes is the key. Once you've learned to come to grips with emotions, they're easier to manage. Ever now and then, you'll be kick to the ground, but you just get back up and say to yourself. I'm worth it. This is who I am, and this is what I have to offer.

[sadman]

Thank you all so much fo your support it really means so much to me.

It now back again so im off to the doctor...

I like to rite in this thread when i get an outbreak, it makes it easy for me to follow the number and time of each outbreak.

Have to run along now or else i will be late.

Thank you all again for your wonderfull support.