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long term relationships with non-h partners.


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I'm just curious. Has anyone been in a long term relationship with a non-infected partner who has not yet been infected. I'm asking this question because in all of the reading I have done it seems as if all non-h partners eventually contact HSV from thier infected partner.

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there are a few women on here who's hubbys don't have it... I have been with my boyfriend for about 9 months and he is fine... so,... just have to be as safe as possible if the partner is scared...

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Transmitting herpes to your partner is not inevitible. Evidence regarding transmission of herpes virus between discordant couples (one partner with h and the other without h) is pretty much anecdotal. It really depends on who you survey. Some couples go for many years without transmitting the virus by simple abstinence during signs and symptoms.Others report their partners became infected within only months of their relationship. If you're the type who likes to read medical research reports,you can check out the reader-friendly Valtrex study on herpes discordant couples published by the New England Journal Of Medicine in Jan 2004: http//content.nejm.org/cgi/content/short/350/1/11. On a more personal note,

I've had hsv2 for over 20 years. I was married to a non-h partner for 14 years. We are now divorced. He never showed any signs of infection. As you may know, some people are asymptomatic but are still able to infect others. When he decided to date again, I told him to get the Herpeselect antibody blood test to make sure he was not an asymptomatic shedder. He was negative for both type one and two. All we did to prevent transmission was abstain from sex when I thought I was getting an outbreak or actually had symptoms. BTW, I don't get frequent outbreaks. I average about one every four years. I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it or not. Since then, I had been in another monogomous relationship for 3 years with a non-h partner, but with him I decided to take acyclovir for supression because he was not as cool about the situation as was my ex-husband. He too was recently tested and found to be negative.

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I have the H, and my partner does not. We have been together for 3 years. (granted, he has not had the blood test yet, but no visual signs!) We practice safe sex, (it will help a little bit) and abstain at any remote sign of an outbreak. (tingling, etc.) I do not take suppressive, unless I feel an OB coming on. I just try to eat well (ahem...hehehehe) and exercise (BIG AHEM...hehehehe, yeah , right!) and take vitamins. (C, Bcomplex and Lysine. daily.) That is it.

I hope and pray he never gets it, but at least he has a wonderful, positive attitude. Very compassionate and realistic! :D

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Sounds like you have a great relationship and are taking good care of yourself. Your partner is a special person. Peace and stay healthy :)

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  • 2 months later...

looks good in the long run

Ouch, Im glad to hear that your relationship has gone so long without transmission. However, you do realize that if you want to have children some day, the condom must come off or you have to do that invetro method. Im not sure how romantic that would be though. Im glad though that with the methods my bf and I are planning on using will be alot more helpful than I orignally thought.

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I disagree about the invetro comment. Apparently my ex does not show symptoms and has it and passed it on. However, I had two healthy normal deliveries. Although my test due to doctors concern I had H came out negative (back then I assume it was a negative when should have been positive) I was put on meds during the last month of pregnancy as a precaution - although the Dr felt I still did not have it due to test and my ex's statement he is fine. It was only recent with new doctor it was confirmed that I have it but the only signs is a bad yeast infection - internal yes and hard to determine. However, I did conceive normal and I would approach when the time comes the doctor as to doing so since I am not a doctor and cant really go there. Please, someone contradict me if I am wrong, but I was told that the baby can only get it during delivery. And if the couple is married and aware of the risks of his or her getting it from noncondom sex that is their decided risk at that point.

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Dakota.... Make sure your read these post carefully. Sometimes what people post can be a mixed message.

*Maybe I'm missing something here....

Notice in Ouches post: She says her Husband does Not have it... and in the same sentance says, He has Not been tested. :roll:

>>>I have the H, and my partner does not. We have been together for 3 years. (granted, he has not had the blood test yet, but no visual signs!)<<<

Hummm.... I thought 90% of the people that had it, don't have any visual signs.

This is a serious topic... Don't trust that all posting here is responsible. Make sure your doing double duty on your studies. And be ready to confront the reality, that this desease may get you no matter how safe your think you are being.

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