feeling sad

[tnmomofive]

ok well I had a blood test done for herpes 2 because of some itching,tingling,and one small scab I found in the pubic area of my vagina.

Anyway,the test came back positive im still waiting for a call from my doctor because for whatever reason she wants to test again.I am very upset because I am married and never cheated even once on my husband in the almost 14 years.This is the first time I have found a scab or anything on me and my husband has never had anything on himself.

So I went to his work today and told him he knew I was sad and all I got was "well no reason in getting all bent out of shape you cant do anything about it" I said well still ..........I said you need to get tested too he said "I dont see the point I havent had anything on me" I said and?????? I didnt have anything either for 14 years!!!! So I asked him when was the last time he messed around? and he got all bent and made a real smart butt comment.Then he says "I guess it doesnt matter what I say or do its always going to be fault for anything and everything" and walked off.....sheesh maybe that wasnt the right thing for me to ask? I dont know but I came to him to let him know and to get some loving support obviously I didnt get much in way of support.Is there any way of knowing when I got this? Or even if its very recent or not? I have heard yes and I have heard no to this?

I know its not the end of the world but I am just upset I feel like im wearing a sign that says....."I have herpes 2"....and id really like to know if my husband cheated and gave this to me or not.

[Unbelievable]

Several thoughts...

Herpes can be unsymptomatic in people... something like 90% of those infected have no symptoms... you could have had it for years... as could your husband....

His lack of concern is, well, concerning... either he is just amazingly supportive and wants you to know he will love you no matter what... OR he is already infected and knows it.... so he doesn't need to get tested...

I hope he hasn't or isn't cheating... and it is possible that he hasn't... but that is something you have to decide...

Good luck to you...

[ouch]

yeah, unfortunately, my first thought too is "hmmmm....could he have cheated".....?

Although I know there are MANY many people who have this diesease adn show no symptoms (or hardly none at all) I still feel that there are even MORE people out there who DO show some symptoms, suspect they have it, but never DO anything about it, as they are delusional or in denial.

The only reason I question this is because his reaction did seem a little to lackadaisical. And from your post, the "messin' around comment makes me wonder if you have had this problem in the past.

I am sorry you have this crap. Try to focus on taking care of yourself and staying healthy.

[tnmomofive]

thanks Unbelievable and ouch

Well hub is swearing he hasnt cheated.Yes ouch he did cheat on me years ago (13) when I was pregnant with our first child and I forgave him and moved on.I asked him about his lack of concern of the herpes news and this is what he said "I dont know you want you want me to say I am sure since you have it I do also and we cant do anything about it and we are still the same people it doesnt change who we are."

I thought about contacting my prenatel doctor from when I was pregnant with our last child in 05 and asking if I was tested for herpes in the routine STD blood test when pregnant......I think I will still check just in case BUT I looked online and apparently testing for herpes while pregnant is NOT part of the routine im surprised by that.I will call and ask if it was done though because if so and the result was negative that should tell me that I contracted this between then and now shouldnt it????? or at least for sure very soon before that test making it come out negative?? I hope that made sense lol Other then that there isnt anything else I can do to figure out a time frame of when I got herpes.

If all fails I think I just have to stick with my hub and move on we have 5 kids together and alot of years been through a whole lot and I dont see myself dropping it all on a MAYBE.He says he will get tested but he adds if I have it he probably does too after all these years.I do recall having ALOT of yeast infections or what I thought to be yeast infections for yearsss and id go to the drug store and get the monistat cream never seeing a doctor during those times.I also recall having swelling of my vagina lips years ago many times bad swelling and it would burn when I urinated.......are those herpes symptoms for women???? I always figured it was sensitivity from sex.

ohwell I rambled if you can answer any of these questions id be greatly appreciative and thanks so much for your support..

[ouch]

You know we are all here to help one another, you included.

Sometimes I have to leave for a while and I won't post. The past couple of months I have been in "posting " mode and I come to realize that in helping others cope, it calms me and helps ME as well. There are also so many folks on here with great attitudes and a buttload of information. I am always asking questions...sometimes just posting it and getting it "out into the open" makes me feel better. My man is great about listening to me when I need to rant, but it is hard for him to relate, as he doesn't have it...SO......(nonetheless he is very sympathetic.)

The swelling and agitation could have been symptoms of herpes. So many people "show" their virus in a different manner, hence the reason so many folks do not know they have it. Maybe their symptoms are VERY mild and replicate another ailment (like a yeast infection.) I think that my true blue very first sign of this crud was an episode where I thought I had a super bad yeast infection...treated it as such, and it went away. About a month or so after THAT I had one lone little bump on my labia. (thought I messed up shaving) BUT when it burst open, it KILLED everytime I peed. Went to the doc and voila...herpes. I know exactly who I got it from too...there is NO question in my mind, but at this point, it doesnt matter, as that ass is outta my life.

AS for bloodtesting whilst pregnant, no, these doctors do NOT test for HSV...which I personally feel is a travesty. You can always call and check with your doc to see if they did just in case, but I am willing to bet they didn't.

There is always a chance you caught this stuff, and carried it for years then something triggered it off in your life now. There is also a good chance your hubby is the one who had it and carried it with no sign. I can understand your concerns of fidelity due to the past. But if you say you both moved on from that and that is sincere (you go with your gut...it will tell you the truth!) then he is probably being honest. I totally understand too investing many years into a relationship and building on that. You can not let this dumb virus get the better of you. It is controlable. Please talk more with your personal doctor and obtain more information on the disease itself. And do not let it get you down. Just add a little extra precaution in your life and you will both be fine! I wish you all the luck and if you need anything, we are all here!

[tnmomofive]

Hi ouch hope you are doing well

My doctor called me friday she said.like the nurse told me,the test came back with high elevated levels of the antibody so yeah I have herpes.

Anyway,she mentioned that for some reason the lab people lumped the tests together herpes 1 and 2 so I asked her does this mean I could have just 1 or 2 or both? She said yes so I said well id like to know which I have or if I have both so we are gonna draw more blood and do another test this time seperately.

I am feeling better though about it all I mean id still like to know the absolute truth of when I contracted this,but im far from the only one who would love to know the same and your right chances are we wont ever know.I havent went to the obgyn I had when preg. yet to sign release forms so I can have my records checked but I am going to do that eventhough like you say I probably never was tested back then.

I have laid of my husband with it all right now he started to tell me "you just seem like you just want someone to blame" so to keep the peace im not bringing it up right now.I am going to make him appointment to be tested.

Like you I used to have alot of yeast infections I asked my doctor about that she said "well chances are they really were just yeast infections." I still question that though.When I first suspected something was about a month ago I had what seemed to be a pretty bad yeast infection it itched so intensely I couldnt resist scratching well then on the inside of my lips these tiny red bumps appeared and they itched and stung,although it didnt sting to urinate.I figures alright this is from scratching myself to death.I was also using the monistat cream well about a week later all of that was gone so I figured ok I was right.Then got in the shower one morning and noticed what appeared to be dried up puss maybe in some pubic hairs.So I inspected the area and saw what looked like a very small wound it didnt hurt at all just a bit itchy and then later that day the outside of my vagina was tingly.I looked here on the net and came across herpes 2 and wigged out.Anyway by the time I got into my doctor the "wound" was gone I still had some tingling feeling off and on but that was all.

just wanted to share with you my experiance so far I will update again after my next test is done.......thanks for listening and take care of yourself