will i be accepted?

[livinlife]

im 17 and just found out recently i have herpes. i feel so alone and i feel like i just got unlucky--at an age where you really start to experience love and sexuality i feel like im at a loss...does anyone have any experience or any advice on how to find someone who will accept me?

[rappaccini's.daughter]

you WILL still experience love and sexuality. it will be hard, and completely different from your past experiences, you will have to show restraint on many levels, but the outcome is worth it. herpes, whether you like it or not, acts as a 'picker' so to speak. the people you are with from now on will have to be good people, people who love you unconditionaly. this is a good thing. it weeds out all the loser-half-lifes who are just looking to use you. your relationships now will be more open and meaningful because the people you will be with WANT to be there.

giving you advice on finding someone who will "accept you" isn't possible. they find YOU. the moment you're ready to give it all up and join a nunnery, they come out of the woodwork. it just happens, and it will.

personally, i say dont go looking for acceptance on this matter, you are completely amazing just being you, people will do and think what they will. their feelings are out of your control. their acceptance of you doesnt change YOU. accept YOURSELF fully and the rest seems trivial, i promise. people notice when someone is fully accepting of themselves.

if you need anything, i'm a 20 yr. old psych major going through the same stuff and would be glad to help.

[MsWhitePaper]

me to

hey i am 22 yrs old. found out 2 yrs ago and i have not had the courage to tell anybody about. i feel like you because i am very young and missing out on experiences. if you would like to talk about anything. I will be here.

to rappiccini's daughter = it's people like you with great support that help the most

[Biotech101]

As someone who when uninfected with the virus and accepted the risk with someone who had, I wouldn't take it back even though the relationship didn't work out (and that person doesn't know that I am infected now). At least you know someone is out there. I mean, I have a biology background and well versed in the biology behind herpies and I still accepted the risk. I'm sure other people will too. (of course now i have to put that to the test as well!) Just read the many stories on this board and other places to find while people have a hard time, life goes on and they find happiness be it with someelse with the same issues or not!

There is a stigmati of course and people will make lots of jokes about herpies around not knowing that you are aflicted. There are people out there that understand!

[Pseudopure]

Dear Livinlife,

You sound like me 5 years ago. In a couple of weeks I'll be 24. I contracted it two years after you BUT I was still in my teens and starting to experience sex on an enjoyable level. I have been in five relationships since having this disease. I had one long term for a couple of years and because of a lot of unprotected sex he's the only one that contracted it. Other than that it's really a matter of being up front with guys and if they really care about you and are GOOD MEN they will go for you despite what you have. =) In many ways it's a blessing because you won't be wasting your time with the dopes out there who just want sex. However it's normal to feel down but sites like this are here to remind you that you're very much not alone and that all of us are going through the same fluctuating emotional experiences.

Good luck!

[CaptainKarma]

Hi ,

I just wanted to say to rappaccini's.daughter , that that initial post you wrote was brilliant .

I've always thought about how to word something like that...exactly how i feel !

Thanks for that ! ...Glad your here !

Warmest regards,

Cap'n