I'm not sure waht just happened to me

[bklyngirl25]

Last night a guy that performed oral sex on me in late May around the 21st) stopped by. Before he performed oral sex on me i showed him my "papers" whcih said that i was HIV-negative and syphallis, clamydia, and ghonerea negative. A week after this incident is when i started having symptoms of herpes. It was confirmed that i have HSV-1 and HSV-2 on June19but the herpes culture only picked up HSV-1 in my gential area. He told me back in may that all of his tests were negative. So when he came by tonight i told him that i found ou thtat I had herpes. He was Pissed! I thought he was going to hit me. He called me names and said I did htis to him intentionally. I told him i didn't know and i was trying to explain things but he wouldn't leisten. A few minutes later he jumped on top of me and told me he was going to have sex iwth me "since i already gave it to him". I tried to tell him that if anything he had it orally not genitally but he bacame aggressive and i started to cry. He said" don't cry" and he turned me over and penetrated me. I was still crying and he told me to stop. when i didn't stop, he stopped having sex with me and said he wasn't rying to rape me and began to "comfort" me. He said "since you have it and i pobably already do and because i care about u so much i want u to be my girl and you better not cheat". I didn't know what to say so i said okay. he started having sex with me again and a moment later i felt the condom off but he continued on. I told him to stop bc he was increasing his chances of getting it. I gave him another one, but it tore again. He insisted on continuung without a concom. I was crying bc i didn't know what was goign through his mind. he finally ejaculated (in his own hand). and fell asleep. I was still crying and thinking the worse. What if he has something worse than herpes and now was trying to give it to me. But would he have almost strangled me and been so upeset if he had somehting worse. I'm so scared now and can't stop crying. I don't know what to do . I want to jsut die and forget all of this ever happened. Someone please help me

[Unbelievable]

jeeeszzzzz..... sweetie... you were raped.... at least that is what it sounds like to me.... he forced sex on you.... that is never ok... he forced unprotected sex on you.... that is never ok... if you haven't showered you need to go to a hospital and have a rape kit done and press charges... call your local rape center and they can meet you there... this needs to be reported.... it will be the hardest thing you ever have to do... but if you don't... he will do it again...

what he did to you is not ok... much love to you...

[ouch]

Fornwarning...I am going to curse alot here!

Holy crap!!! This guy is a monster!!!! A fuckin monster and he should have his dick chopped off and handed back to him!!! (up his ass!)

First of all, mutha fuck him, ok. Seriously, you did the right thing, you didn't know....his reactions should tell you right off the bat this is NOT someone to be with, ever, in ANY CAPACITY. Did HE hand YOU HIS PAPERS STATING HE WAS DISEASE FREE!!!?!?! Maybe he was the one who gave you this shit in the first place (from the oral)

Regardless of who gave who what, you didn't want to have sex, he forced you. You may have been compliant because you were scared and because he made you feel bad about yourself ("I am dirty because I have herpes so I deserve this"....so many women do this and settle for the WORST possible mate...I am telling you NO!!! do NOT do it....)

Please get to a doctor TODAY...go to the hospital...file a REPORT on this man. They can do all sorts of cultures on you, as well as give you a day after pill to prevent pregnancy. Ask them what you can do to help ith the prevention of HIV (I think there are meds to take within the first 48-72 hours to help prevent HIV...the sooner you go, the better.) but do NOT be fooled. This is amean, vicious, violent man, and you need to report him NOW. This is not over yet, things are only going to get worse.

You did NOT deserve this. He is using your herpes status to treat you like shit. I would be willing to be he does have some STD himself, simply because of his reaction , and so now he is trying to pin it off on YOU. This will give him the fuel he needs to treat you poorly (I suspect he treats most women bad.)

I am SO sorry this has happened to you...but please please please, be strong. SO SO SO STRONG. Do not allow yourself to be a victim. Take charge of this situation NOW, starting off with getting yourself to the hospital/doctor/clinic/whatever IMMEDIATELY!!! Tell them everything that has happened. Be honest. They can get you the MEDICAL attention you need, followed by a dectective who have get you the LEGAL help you need. Get a restraining order against this man. But please. Do NOT for a minute think this is all you deserve. You don't You are SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS MAN AND THE SHIT HE HAS DOLED OUT TO YOU.

Want me to fly to NY, kick his ass!!?! God, I would in a heartbeat....fucking prick.

Under no circumstances : DO NOT SEE THIS BLOKE AGAIN. Protect yourself. Stay away from him, take care of YOU and tell him to piss off. Like unbelieveable said, when at the hospital, have them use the rape kit to get proceedings started to fight this guy. If he has done this to you, he will do it to others.

Please let us know what happens, and please go NOW , this instant, to get help. Time is of the essence.

[bklyngirl25]

Thank You so much unbelievable and ouch for responding. I guess i jsut didn't want to admit or think of it as rape. I've been too scared and ashamed to go to a rape crisis center, mainly becuz i was raped last year and i don't want to look like a liar or someone who tries to get guys introuble. My main concern was that he tried to give me another std. I spoke with him and he said he is clean and is willing to prove it by going with me to the clinic whenever i'm ready. I was too depressed to leave the house today so im going to see a counselor tomorrow to talk out my problems bc i am in alot of pain. whats ironic is that i was dealing with having herpes alot better before i told people who i felt should know (ex's). I was only trying to do the right thing and i can't understand why people are treating me like this. But thank you guys for understanding. Take care and keep in touch

[ouch]

you take care of yourself! Be strong, it is SO tough right now, and I feel that you are in such a tough place right now (emotionally and mentally) ...I wish I was there to do some major ass kicking for you!

if you need anything at all...even just to vent, you know we are here. Don't let this cretin make you a victim....and certainly do not allow this disease make you think less of yourself (thus deserving of such treatment.) You are worth more than this and your spit is worth more than the man who did this to you! Don't forget that.

[bledflower]

i hate sex

[bklyngirl25]

Thanks again Ouch. I went to the rape criis center and i got to talk to someone. they gave me some preventiative medicine including HIV prophalaxsis. So hopefully I should be alright..no matter of fact i will be alright. thank u for all of ur support. I will definitely work on my emotional and metal state. I am going to be seeing a rape counselor next week so that should help. Thanks again hun..Take Care

[ouch]

that is good! that makes me so happy...these are the first steps you need to take to heal and to help you get STRONG. I have faith I think you will be fine. Just fine. Baby steps little lady, baby steps...just so long as you move forward.

I will send you my warmest thoughts and (at the risk of sounding like a hippie..ugh...hahaha) I will send you good vibes as well. Keep us posted how you are doing and don't forget we are all behind you.

[92fav]

I'm so glad others on this forum helped you and that you went to the crisis center. I wish you the best.

[Raychel]

i went through the same thing you did.

im a small 19 yo girl, who was taken advantage of by a very big black man, probably mid to late 20s. also in new york, acutally. i cannot bring myself to go back there, even though alot of good friends live in and around the city. i just cant.

i have had sex once since that night, and it was terrible. i was so scared and just froze. even little things that my guy friends do or say just shut me down emotionally, and they dont even realize that theyve done anything wrong. i used to be very open about sex and talk about it freely. now im terrified to even admit im attracted to someone else because im scared of what will happen if we're in a relationship.

this man had me by the throat, and i didnt know what to do.

alot of people tell me i look like a 12 year old, with a small boy-ish frame, and this man did this to me. it disgusts me.

i guess what im trying to say is, you're not alone, and im glad that you were brave enough to share your story, because now i know im not alone either.

i wasnt brave enough to go to a rape clinic or anything, and never reported the man. i dont even know his name, he was just some guy at a club i was at. what makes it worse is my ex gf's friend was there too, and she let the whole thing happen. i was drunk, andi guess she wanted to sleep with the guy, but she kicked me out of her apartment (where i was staying in ny, it was only a short trip there) because i "disrespected" her by telling her we had to leave and throwing her clothes at her when the guy passed out. i havent spoken to her since, or even tried.