Told new non-H partner about status and rejected

[getonwithlife]

Just diagnosed 6 months ago. Started dating a friend of 7 years and told him about status last week. So hard to tell him, but I got through it. He was weirded out but said he would like to see where things went sort of as friends but he backed out of plans with me - we were becoming a couple at the time and I felt I should tell because I stupidly had sex once without telling him. I told myself I would never did that, and then I did. When I finally saw him yesterday, I tried to play it cool but got really emotional because things were definitely not the same, and I could not keep it together and started crying. I'm mad at myself for sort of sabotaging things with acting so emotional. I know we'll never talk again and I lost a friend. If a friend of 7 years cannot accept me, who will? I know it's common, but it weighs on you, and you think about it every time you even have a causual conversation with potential partner (at least that's where I am with it now). Any advice for next time for me, or what people have thought about the herpes dating sites?

[Guest dangermouse]

I entered knowingly into a relationship an HSV+ woman (well, she told me after the first time together, when she made me use a super thick condom without saying why), and despite her monthly outbreaks we had a happy sex life for the 18 months we were together. So to answer you question, someone will accept you. Probably lots of someones!

[anie]

geton - - i'm sure others will post great advice here for you. in talking with others on this site, i've learned that you need to be certain that you have built the foundation of trust before you tell another person. i find irony in that in a society in which sexual freedom is rampant, we are forced to examine how serious the relationship is and the amount of trust before having The Talk. i've only had one talk, as i was living with a boyfriend when i received my diagnosis ten months ago. since then, we've broken up and The Talk, as i mentioned in an earlier post, is very intimidating although how you give it has an impact.

so far as the H dating sites are concerned, i've only found people with the objective of casual sex on there; i'm sure there are some people without that objective, however i haven't met them. http://www.SpecialUser1234.com/herpes-dating.html provides as a comprehensive resource for H dating sites.

know that we are in the same boat, and if you ever want to talk, please feel free to do so.

[startingover]

Dear Gettingon......as someone who was just told last week that a new friend has H, I can say that yes, people will accept you and there is nothing less about you that is worth loving. Just remember H doesn't define who you are, it merely dictates some of your behavior but you are still a worthwhile human being and deserving of a loving relationship and you will find it. Hang in there.

[ouch]

amen starting over.

This is why I feel it is so important for people like yourself and dangermouse to be here...to let those with H know that people will love them/desire them no matter what. That the H doesn't define them.....just calls for some extra precautions!!