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who did I get this from?


katie2064

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Ok this is really hard for me. I just found out yesterday I have genital herpes. I am about 95% sure I know who I got it from but I don't know for sure. I have been seeing this guy for about a month now. Last week I had unprotected sex for the first time in my entire life. A week later.....yesterday........I started feeling like I had the flu, noticed bumps down there, and realized it just hurt to move. I immediately went to the doctor and told her about my sexual past. I slept with a guy 3 months before the guy I'm seeing now. I read that the first outbreak usually occurs 2-20 days after infection. Is it possible that I got it from the guy I'm seeing now or could it be the one from 3 months ago. I have never felt like this before and I am sure this is my first outbreak. Furthermore, how do I tell the guy I'm seeing now without accusing him or making him hate me......I feel like I'll never be loved again and I'll be alone forever. advice would be helpful:(

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I would say it is most likely the bloke you slept with most recently. Too coincidental if you ask me. I would go this route first. Confront him, with it, but in a non confrontational manner. (no, you mo'fo you gave me this blah blah blah) . Feel him out. IF he denies it and says YOU gave it to him, well then tell him to get a blood test. If that comes up positive for herpes, you probably have your culprit. (if YOU gave it to HIM, it would take about 3 months to show up in his blood stream.)

But yea, herpes usually shows up 2-20 days after initial contact. Mine did in two. My ex lied, and still lies, about his status. Many folks will get on here and say...oh you could have been asymptomatic and got it from that other guy blah blah blah...I saw horseshit and that this scenario is alot rarer than we are lead to believe. I say you got it from this last fellow. Again your symptoms are too coincidental.

I am sorry you contracted this virus. it is not the end of the world, although times it will feel that way. I knwo you feel unloved and unwanted right now, but believe me, there is no reason for you to have a loving relationship just like everyone else in the world struggles to find. But from here on out, you will have to take extra precautions and practice safe safe sex as well as be honest with potential partners.

Let this also be a learning experience to you....PRACTICE SAFE SEX! No matter what and with whom, unless you BOTH get bloodtests. The world is a crazy place we live in and as you can see, some people are less than honorable. Unless this guy didn't know he had it, which is possible. See what his reaction is, then gauge it from there.

Good luck to you and stay strong.

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Ok this is really hard for me. I just found out yesterday I have genital herpes. I am about 95% sure I know who I got it from but I don't know for sure. I have been seeing this guy for about a month now. Last week I had unprotected sex for the first time in my entire life. A week later.....yesterday........I started feeling like I had the flu' date=' noticed bumps down there, and realized it just hurt to move. I immediately went to the doctor and told her about my sexual past. I slept with a guy 3 months before the guy I'm seeing now. I read that the first outbreak usually occurs 2-20 days after infection. Is it possible that I got it from the guy I'm seeing now or could it be the one from 3 months ago. I have never felt like this before and I am sure this is my first outbreak. Furthermore, how do I tell the guy I'm seeing now without accusing him or making him hate me......I feel like I'll never be loved again and I'll be alone forever. advice would be helpful:([/quote']

You got it from the last guy. And he knew he had it. Bet the ranch.

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Thanks for your responses......I talked to him the other night about it and the idea he had it just blew his mind. He honestly had no idea and I actually do believe him. He said he had an STD test about a year ago but was willing to go do it again of course. I just cannot see how it can't be him. Everything is WAY too coincidental. He had a lot of questions for me and I answered him the best I could but he was still really freaked out. If I didn't get it from him then I have no idea!!! He's the only person I have been with recently and my fever, aches, swollen glands, and obvious signs (below the belt) are way to severe for this to be my second or any later OB. I've had yeast infections before but I never had anything like this. I'v been to two doctors now and told them my story, they both agree this is my first OB and it has to be him but if his test results come back negative I don't know what I am going to do:( He says there wasn't many possibilities this past year for him to get it............Maybe I was the carrier and I didn't know it. OMG I hope that isn't the case because you would think I would know to but I honestly had no inclination that this was in my body before Sunday.

PS. I am having a very severe first OB if anyone has any tips on how to make it better I would appreciate it. I can hardly walk and go to the bathroom:(

Thanks for your help!!!

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It totally sounds like your first outbreak. HE could be the one who is the carrier, and NOT have outbreaks...be asymptomatic. The tell tale way to find out is if BOTH of you have bloodtests. If he shows up with the hsv antibodies and you do not, well, guess what....? HE has it. And visa versa. Go together to get the bloodwork done, either at your doctor or local health clinic and INSIST you want bloodwork to test for herpes.

(yours might come up negative since this is your first outbreak and you do not have the antibodies yet. Have them do the swab test on your active lesions, that will give you confirmation for sure).

I am glad he is at least listening to you and asking questions. This is good. I am sure he had some sort of VD test in the past, but I am willing to bet my bottom dollar that the only tests done were for chlamydia, gonnorhea and crap like that. (most docs/clinics DO NOT test for the herpes virus...because they are STUPID! don't get me started on the so called medical profession....ugh!) So he may have honestly thought he was "clean" of stds, but if he is an asymptomatic carrier, then he would never know....until something like this happens. I hate to say it too, many men are out of touch when it comes to their bodies, he may have had mild outbreaks in the past, so mild he chalked it up to something like ingrown hairs, irriration....whereas we women tend to be a little more intune with our nether regions! :lol:

Get the bloodwork together. And take it from there.

As for dealing with your outbreak...well....for starters, to help ease the pain, take some tylenol or ibuprofen, just to take some of the edge off the pain and the achiness. When you pee, get one of those water bottles you can easily squeeze, fill it with luke warm water, and while you pee squirt the water down there at the same time. (we have to do this after we have babies, or surgery down there.... :wink: ) it will take some of the sting out when you pee.

Some people recommend putting A and D ointment down there as well. It will also alleviate some of the sting, and maybe help with healing. If you DO put some on, use a q-tip or cotton swab and be sure to wash your hands thoroughly after. Also I hear cornstarch is good to use down there, as it will keep the area dry, thus, help healing faster.

I use a hair dryer, low, to DRY MYSELF down there after I shower. Sounds crazy I know, but it works! (Better than using towels! Cleaner too!)

Stay away from caffeine and drinks with lots of C in it right now, as it will make your pee very acidic (the C) and you will pee alot (the caffeine) drink lots of water. Take Vitamins supplements like bcomplex, lysine and C (I knowI know, but it helps the immune system...) no chocolates, no nuts.....eat well, and try to get lots of sleep and rest. Figure, this is a virus, like the flu, so this first time you need all the rest you can get.

Remember too anytime you come into contact with a lesion (ie. if you touch one) to wash your hands up really good immediately after so that you do not spread it to anywhere else on your body. Especially now while your body is building up the antibodies against herpes. Be very careful after you go to the bathroom, shower, etc. Good ole soap and warm water will do the trick.

ummmmm...that is all I can think of. Maybe some others here will be able to give you more, and better advice on how to lessen the pain. If I think of anything else, I will post it!

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He said he had an STD test about a year ago but was willing to go do it again of course. I just cannot see how it can't be him. Everything is WAY too coincidental.

Right. And trust your instincts here, I'd say. Aint that much coincidence in the world, I'd declare. When it quacks, waddles and talks like a duck, it's a duck. Don't 2nd guess yourself too much. And note that he had a reason to get an STD test in the past. People don't just get those out of the blue.

He's the only person I have been with recently and my fever' date=' aches, swollen glands, and obvious signs (below the belt) are way to severe for this to be my second or any later OB. I've had yeast infections before but I never had anything like this. I'v been to two doctors now and told them my story, they both agree this is my first OB and it has to be him [/quote']Well there's hope yet for the medical profession...So many stories of them not even knowing what HSV looks like, let alone how to distinguish b/t a primary and 2ndary infection. Good for them. :)

They won't. And if they do, look closely. The man who raped me sent one of my lawyers some negative test results for HSV1. The lawyer didn't get it at first. IT WAS THE WRONG TEST. Didnt sway me one bit. And of course a second test for HSV2 proved me right. So relax. If you believe you know who gave you this, don't worry about the tests; they will prove what you already know. They really will. You + 2 docs believe he's the one---I say he's the one.

Ok why havent your docs pumped you up with antivirals??? Acyclovir/Zovirax or Valtrex or something??? I retract my compliments about them :evil: --this is a critical time for those drugs to help you both now and to prevent future outbreaks from being as frequent or serious as they might otherwise be. You need drugs, honey--NOW. (say I).
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