How effective is Valtrex for passing it on?

[fingered]

I'm a newbie here. Got H2 from a 1st date, standing up in a parking lot, was fingered and planted with it. Found out 2 weeks later. So, now, on 1000 mg daily suppression Valtrex. My doc has no answers for my ?s. Can a guy get it giving me oral sex? What are the stats for a guy getting it from vaginal sex - no condoms, now that I'm on supression? I hate condoms. Why bother having sex... it sucks with a condom..... Any good h2 dating websites? Found 1 person on mpwh in my area. NH. Need a lot more than than to pick from. Put an ad on craigslist to date other H2-ers, but they pulled it. So, what the hell are we supposed to do so we don't spread it. Monogomy is not an option, neither are condoms.

[ouch]

Unless in a monogamous relationship, I can not imagine playing russian roullette with my body and NOT using condoms!!!!!!!!

I mean ...to each their own but their are WAY WORSE diseases out there, like HIV and HEPATITIS.

So I really do not know what to tell you other to keep trying the dating sites and letting folks know that you have HSV, but you like to ride bareback. I am sure you will find what you are looking for, as there are men out there with this same attitude.

I love condoms. I think I have stock in trojan.....I am in a monogamous relationship and I use them with my NON H partner, just because I respect HIM as well as myself. Condoms are nice and neat and tidy.

and I have to ask, why did craiglist pull your ad? they rarely , if ever, pull someones' ad! THey are pretty openminded and liberal...so....

[fingered]

Condoms

Can't use condoms. I'm instantly dry, they rub and rip my skin. I don't like sex to be nice and neat and tidy. LIke it intense and hot and dripping wet and messy and spontaneous. Did try it with a condom 2 days ago and I felt no pleasure in the least. Was no point in doing it. Then I burned for a day when I went pee because I tore my skin from it. And he was afraid to touch me even with his hand. I feel like I have lepracy. Forget ever getting oral sex again.

Anyway, I wrote back to Craig's list and asked but have no answer yet. I posted my profile on the purple door dating site. But man this sucks just trying to find a partner. It's hard enough at age 49 with 3 kids and I can't be on birth control because of a blood clot last year, but now add this? Sometime life gives you lemons, but sometimes it's throwing truckloads of horse manure.... if you know what I mean.

Really interested in getting the facts about spreading this while on supression. Does anyone out there know? Nothing on - line that I've seen. Need some personal experiences folks.... Please!

[ouch]

what about polyurethane (sp?) condoms? I hear people who are allergic to latex are able to use these. I have not tried them personally so I can't give a yay or a nay for them. Maybe I should...hmmmm.....

As for Valtrex lessening the chance of passing hsv2, I don't know. Some studies show that it DOES help in preventing transmission, but why? I don't trust the makers of valtrex to be 100% honest nor their researchers. Perhaps transmission is less likely because outbreaks are less likely....I don't know. hopefully someone here more informed about suppressive meds can help. I can't take them as I actually get weird side effects and they do nto help my outbreaks.... So I try alternative methods.

[fingered]

See, that's the key question I have. If supression drugs stop me from getting outbreaks, do I have cells to slough off and spread? Or - if no outbreaks, no cells to spread? Also would depend obviously on the individual's ability to take it faithfully daily. I thought supression did supress it. It sounds like it only helps. Sounds like you folks are still getting them anyway. Then, what the hell do you do to stop the intense pain? I had 2 outbreaks in March and April, then supression treatent and 2 months of yeast infections and bacterial infections, but no more herpes outbreaks - thank God for that. Haven't had weird side effects that I know of. I heard caffeine is a trigger, yet I drink a lot of coffee daily. I walk intensely 2 hours a day, and am always tired, but that hasn't been a trigger. So, who knows. Time will tell. But, I just want to know if I can pass this to a non infected guy riding him bareback, if I'm on supression, because that would end my sex life. Gotta know.

[ouch]

I am not an expert on suppression meds, and I can't take them/do notlike them, but from what I read, although the chances are less likely to pass on H to a non H parnter, you can STILL pass it on at any time, even when taking suppressive meds. There is always a risk of H transmission.

Someone posted somewhere on here that there is studies showing that those who take antivirals within 72 hours of coming into contact with the virus have a less likely chance of contracting herpes!! If I find that thread, I will post it. I am not sure there is MORE information about this out there in the world, but there SHOULD BE!!!!

[kellie]

what u said above,

if herpes is tech in the same class as Shingles, my dad had shingles and the doctor did tell him if he would have knew the signs right before hand he could have prevented getting it full blown.

[Sh*ThapenS]

Not to pass judgement but, Just be careful...You should be lucky all you got was HV 2 and nothing else. Usage with out condom is, your just asking for something to happen...Better safe than sorry

[puckzen]

Valtrex

Got it a week ago. She was not in an outbreak, on Valtrex, and we used comdoms. Had maybe 3 of these encounters. I don't balme her, but I am pssed.

[fingered]

See, that's what I'm wondering

Well, now I'm glad I'm on the MPwH dating site so I don't risk spreading htis to non-H2 guys.

OK, question for the last writer, the newbie 9/10/06 - not to be personal, but did you go down on her? Reason I ask is I met a guy on the MPwH dating website who said he got in back in his 20's from doing that with no sex involved. And then got H2. I don't think enough people are aware of this. You can use all the condoms in the world, but why bother if you have oral sex? There's no point.

And just an FYI for all the condom users out there - I don't know how you can stand to go home smelling and tasting latex, but god bless you - and you don't know what you are missing. Once you find a partner, you will realize why some of us would rather not have sex than have it with a condom.

[puckzen]

Follow-up for fingered

> Well, now I'm glad I'm on the MPwH dating site so I don't risk spreading htis to non-H2 guys.

I just joined MPwH too. I'm pretty new to all this.

> OK, question for the last writer, the newbie 9/10/06 - not to be personal, but did you go down on her?

Yes. Last time was about an hour. I specifically did that instead of intercourse, because it is easier to wash my face than take a shower. Didn't think about the increased risk there. (me=stupid) Again, she was not outbreaking, on Valtrex, etc. etc.

I got H2 down below. I guess I thought it transmits skin-to-skin, no? So I would have gotten oral H2 if I got it from oral sex, eh? I don't know. I figure I got it down below from contact down below, or from something bringing the virus to that area (like hands, etc.).

> And just an FYI for all the condom users out there - I don't know how you can stand to go home smelling and tasting latex

They make flavored. Strawberry and mint are the best. I actually prefer sex with condoms. It took a few years to find the right style and size for me, but when you have a perfect fit, you honestly do not notice it that much. It prolongs the orgasm, and it keeps the mess down. Also, it reduces any typical concerns about pregnancy, HIV, etc. It makes the act more enjoyable for me. I know there are those that hate them, but not me.

> and you don't know what you are missing.

To each his or her own, eh?

> Once you find a partner, you will realize why some of us would rather not have sex than have it with a condom.

That's rather big of you How do you know we don't have partners? I think I am old enough and have been in enough LTRs to have made up my own mind. I appreciate your opinion.

Newbie-do-be-do

[fingered]

Sorry,

Just couldn't imagine anyone with a partner still uses a condom. Just me, made the assumption people in a long term relationship do it bareback for better sensation.... Didn't mean that you never had a partner (meaning long term). Yes, to each their own. I just like great sensation when it's in there. Need to feel each twitch and wiggle.

So, do condom users not have oral sex? They shouldn't. So they don't catch the same stuff they then put their condom into. Makes no sense to me if their tongue is going in there and then they go and use a condom.

Understand, in my simple mind- (and I'm no dummy being a middle school teacher who switched from Engineering to teaching) - if you have sex for hours, in-out-wait-go, swap-mutual oral, and on and on, isn't using a condom like wearing one of those dental guards for oral? You wouldn't do it. And how on earth do you use one condom for hours? The last time I tried with someone, it was for 3 hours and there were condoms everywhere. I really don't want an answer - just a rhetorical question.

And my sympathies on the H2 by the way. I got it by being fingered on a first date, by a sick SOB who planted it under his fingernails. I was kissing him goodnight when his hand slid down my pants and right up and in. And I appreciate your telling me you got it while your honey was on Valtrex and condoms, because that was the question my docs couldn't answer. But that makes 2 of you who got it via oral sex that I have talked to, so I won't be dating non-H2 guys again. Don't want to spread this any further myself. MPwH is a great site and I've met about 5 or 6 guys already. Still awaiting the prince, but fishing in the frog pond for first dates now.

Good luck to you.

Try the herb Ginsena by the way. Keeps it up for a couple hours naturally. Will make any lady very happy.

[puckzen]

No worries

Oh, gotchya. I was married for about 7 years, and we almost always used a condom. Another LTR for about 3 years, same deal. Just preference, though. I can see the joy of not using one. I hear ya.

> So, do condom users not have oral sex? They shouldn't.

In terms of HSV, you are right. But if you use the tongue just on the love-nub, and not go inside, you can avoid most STDs. (The blood borne kind, not HSV).

> And I appreciate your telling me you got it while your honey was on Valtrex and condoms, because that was the question my docs couldn't answer. But that makes 2 of you who got it via oral sex that I have talked to.

Let's talk about this, because I don't think I got it from oral. Does it sound like I did? If I did, I would have outbreaks on my mouth. I have them on Mr. Willy, and even farther down. I think I got them from regular intercourse.

Cheers.

[fingered]

Herpes via oral sex

Well, let me go back and read my MPwH emails from him or just go and ask him if I can't find the answer. I wrote to him today about something else anyhow. A car event in his area of the country. Write to me there on MPwH- look up NHgreeneyes and that's me.

Just hooked up another H2 first date for tomorrow. Sleepytime tea at 3 PM in Mass. My last date didn't like french kisses - only liked short kisses with no tongue. A bit odd I thought. 45 and still living with his mom...Movin on....

And, another personal question - did she go down on you? Been told that's the thinnest skin you guys have. An easy in for a virus. So, I'll find out about the other guy and the oral sex thing, but I also wondered if you got it from direct contact (cells) from her tongue/saliva.

My blood has not yet tested positive for this and so I wondered if I could ever really pass along something I only had 2 doctor confirmed outbreaks of in April and was on supression ever since. This guy is an Asst. Atty General and told me YES indeed, cells slough off all the time and are rumbling around our bodies and can infect without notice or outbreaks. I can email you some of his answers if you want because he's had it for about 20 years and is quite knowledgeable.

Just as you want to know how you got it, I want to know Why I got it - but I'll never know - he won't tell me. If we can never get the answers we want at least it helps to know we are not alone out here. Dating from MPwH almost feels like a 'cult,' a secret society, like we should have a 'secret handshake' or something. I consider it the responsible adult thing to do. Kind of keeps a partner a bit more connected with you.

[Biotech101]

If you know for sure you have the virus it doesn't matter if it doesn't show up in the blood yet. The blood test looks for antibodies (your body's immune system) that means you could be shedding but your immune system has as of yet not formed a large defense against it.

You don't have to limit yourself to dating people within the HSV communties it just appears easier to deal with people who already have it because the sense of rejection is not there.

[puckzen]

Contact

> And, another personal question - did she go down on you? Been told that's the thinnest skin you guys have. An easy in for a virus. So, I'll find out about the other guy and the oral sex thing, but I also wondered if you got it from direct contact (cells) from her tongue/saliva.

How could she resist? j/k Just not sure if she only has it genitally that it could be spread orally (her oral to my genitals). Anyone know?

Emailed you at mpwh, nice car.

[fingered]

Herpes rejection

I have found just the opposite actually - not rejection, but an uncanny acceptance. You know the average person is clueless to all this. I was before I got it this year also. Thought they had antibiotics for STDs. Had never had one though. People think it's no big deal - don't realize it's for life I think.

This summer I had some non H2 first dates with a 21 year old college guy, a 34 year old college baseball coach, a 40 year old machine operator and a 44 year old machinist. I e-mailed them after the first date and told them and asked them to go look it up and told them I don't use condoms. They all replied that they wanted another date anyway. I haven't just because I don't want to risk spreading this by having casual sex with them. If I was madly in love with any of them, then I might have dated them, but I luckily wasn't put in that spot.

There's luckily for me - enough H2 guys to date on MPwH website - to keep me busy. Met about 5 so far in August/Sept. Ye-hah. Life is good! Just lookin for 1!

[Sh*ThapenS]

Re: See, that's what I'm wondering

Well, now I'm glad I'm on the MPwH dating site so I don't risk spreading htis to non-H2 guys.

OK, question for the last writer, the newbie 9/10/06 - not to be personal, but did you go down on her? Reason I ask is I met a guy on the MPwH dating website who said he got in back in his 20's from doing that with no sex involved. And then got H2. I don't think enough people are aware of this. You can use all the condoms in the world, but why bother if you have oral sex? There's no point.

And just an FYI for all the condom users out there - I don't know how you can stand to go home smelling and tasting latex, but god bless you - and you don't know what you are missing. Once you find a partner, you will realize why some of us would rather not have sex than have it with a condom.

With the whole Oral Sex...Yes it can happen that way, thats actually how i got it...i knew i got it, the 3rd time we hooked up, he had only went down on me and the next day thats when i got it...you can also get two forms of hpv, on your gential area, you can get 1 or 2, it isnt that gential herpes is hpv 2, you could have contracted hpv 1. Its weird how it works, i was told you can get a test to see which one you have, but there is no difference in medication you can take or any of that.