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feeling like an ______x. and have questions


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i swear im at an AA meeting :D

the short version:

i met my current BF 2 months ago. 3weeks ago i thought had a urinary tract infection and a yeast infection. i waited 3 days beforing going to the doctor bc it became more painful. i also confused a small blister (one of two i got from the first OB), for a hemeroid.

got to the doc and she asks if she can test me for herpes. i was mindblown. and pi*sed. although neither him nor I have EVER been angels in the past.

so my blood test came back negative but the scraping she did of the blister positive. it felt like hell the 2 weeks i had symptoms, constipation, burning while urinating, back hurt, pounding headaches. she gave me 1000mg valtrex 2x per day. when i just went in last week to speak to her about the results, she put me on supressive therapy and its 500mg 1x per day of valtrex.

so heres my confusion.

my BF did indeed test postive thru the blood. and the doc he saw said he prob gave it to me instead of vice versa bc mine wasnt in my blood yet. we both agreed to not point fingers. anyways HE HAS NO SYMPTOMS and so I WAS CLEARED UP and we had sex last week, with a condom till we got his test results.


im lost. so im gonna be the one that has the symptoms and keep getting reinfected? bc today i wake up and sure enough its hurting while i pee.

ARGH. im on the supressive therapy does it not work? i have no blisters yet. just the painful urination right now. he's got his appt NEXT friday bc the doctor he saw didnt give him any meds for supres. therapy and i think he's lost with this whole thing. and im confused trying to explain what i am unsure of.

IS this a second outbreak or part of the first?

DO i need to get a higher dosage every time u have an OB?

HOW are we together going to know when he's having an OB if he's got no symtoms but has it in his blood?

WHY am i getting shafted here. arghhhhhhhhhhh. i thought all was well, the first OB was over, we used condoms. then got his test results. did not use condoms a few days ago, since we both have it. but could having sex wtih him w/o condoms and w/o him having symptoms bc he IS NOT on valtrex yet, be the reason i might be having tthis second OB if this is what it is?

PS - i cant keep missing work :(

i cant imagine if mine was a mild case what others go thru.


please someone talk to me,

where do i buy "lysine"

? i've read ALOT now, and it seems like this is also effective? and golden seal as well?

help help. me confused :cry:


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Guest dangermouse

According to my research (but I'm a newbie), it is not possible to get reinfected once you have contracted the virus and it has retreated to the ganglial neurons. So exposure to your boyfriend's symptomatic or asymptomatic shedding should not be considered the cause of any new outbreaks you may have.

Kellie is a pretty name, by the way.

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hey Kellie....

Unfortunately, you CAN have signs/symptoms of outbreaks, meanwhile, you boyfriend is one of those folks who is a carrier, but has no outbreaks...and can STILL pass it on. (as you have sadly found out.)

I too, am a little iffy on re-transmission...but from what I can tell, once you have it from him, that is it, you both have it and can not re-transmit the virus over and over. I don't think THIS can cause your reoccurring outbreaks, HOWEVER perhaps your body has not developed the antibodies yet (this can take 3 months) so I don't know, maybe this is whatis affecting your outbreaks. Maybe use condoms for a few more months just to give your body time to heal and to adjust to having the virus in its system....I dunno, I could be wrong, but hey, what can it hurt, right!?!?!

I take Lysine, you can get it anywhere. I get mine at good ole trader joes up the street from me. It is only like....$2.58 for a bottle of 100 pills. CHEAP. Take it every day, and maybe try some C and B complex with it. I would only take 500 mgs of each on a daily basis, then during an outbreak, double it....This seems to work for me.

I am sorry about the bad outbreaks. I wish you good luck.

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Maybe this will help

from my research I found out that as time progresses most people will have fewer outbreaks. This is caused by the anti-bodies that will build up in your system over time as Ouch previously stated. Maybe your boyfriend has has had HSV for quite sometime and you have just contracted it. This would explain why he tested positive via blood test (which test for anti-bodies not HSV itself) , you tested positve via swab, and you are having frequent outbreaks. Now, I'm not any type of doctor/professional but if my research is correct, your situation makes perfectly good sense to me.

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ahh thanks guys. i purchased some Lysine and Echincea+C, im gonna take the later for 14 days as suggested and come off it.

but now after reading it seems like the females get shafted again LOL, why i cant find anything on him yet i keep getting (small but still) bumps and what not.... i thought that even if we both had it, if he had a present soar it would make it easier for me to have an outbreak. not many boards talk about people living with others that too have herpes and how to manage together.

(esp since he isnt showing symptoms)

pretty sure i got it from him. im a lucky case that got the test swabed but not in blood to say its prob been dormant in him and not me.

well it sucks regardless, i found out he did not tell his ex partner as he promised when i wrote her she was furious, when i truly was concerned, about her, and not letting it keep going u know, perhaps i overstepped my bounds in writing her, that is today's guilt :(

any thoughts on that?

thank you all for responding. I'll keep at it. and posting. if anyone has information on places you can help educate youth and what not i am in jax fl and would like to talk to teens about it. cuz u never know. somehow i feel my hippie ways relate to young adults best, perhaps if they saw me and saw how normal i look.................




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Hi, Kellie.

You may have been overstepping your boundaries with your partner's ex-partner, especially considering the type of relationship you had with her beforehand. I'm not asking for an explaination, just trying to provide some food for thought.

So far as educating youth is concerned, Planned Parenthood requires that candidates have a bachelor's degree in health and roughly three years of experience with adults. Visit http://www.plannedparenthood.org and do a search for employment opportunities; they're arranged according to region. Good luck!


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  • 4 weeks later...

i did overstep my bounds i admit, but im really happy i did.

she had no idea. :( he still claims that he told her 2 times to call in regards to the matter on her voicemail but when i emailed her she was shocked and confused


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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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