not all doom and gloom

[Guest Anonymous]

When I first got herpes I started using this page and found it very useful. It has taken me time to accept what happened and get on with life. I caught the virus through casual sex, casual but what I thought was safe sex. For a while I believe this made me a bad person but hay shit happens and as long I as I don?t pass it on anyone I am not a bad person (no I no longer have casual sex)

Anyway I have met a young man who makes me happy and smile and laugh and is all together great. Last night was d-day and I had to tell him. He was great and still wants to see me. So it?s not all doom and gloom.

[Guest Anonymous]

It's true

I've been living with herpes for 13 years, since I was raped when I was 20. At that time, I never thought I'd live through this, and there's no question that it makes things harder, but you can survive. I'm not in a relationship right now, but whenever I've told a partner my story, they've almost always been very understanding. If my relationships have not worked, I don't think herpes was the reason, honestly. I think you have to be very strong and learn to love yourself no matter what. No one deserves this or is a bad person because of it. I have good friends who love me for who I am, and my family is great. If I don't have a relationship, I'll survive, and my life will still have meaning. The one leftover hard part for me is that first telling in a new relationship. I have to hold back sexually because I know that unless the man is invested in me to some degree, my chances of him taking it well are less. And I know I still feel a little like "damaged goods" at that moment. But I refuse to let herpes stop me from trying. I think it helps to keep things in perspective: this is not a fatal disease. We can live with it, but I still need people to talk to who understand.